Well, Ali finally did it, and by ‘did it’ I mean hopefully had sex right after the final credits of this season’s Bachelorette rolled. The heat between her and the winner, Taite, was palpable. I might have fanned myself while watching them make out, if I wasn’t so grossed out by all the smacking noises.
Seriously, producers, turn OFF the mics when they do this.
Ali spent this entire season stating to camera that she wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. The ‘mistake’ was to fall for an emotionally unavailable beef cake who can’t commit. So, in the end, between her self proclaimed ‘knight in shining armour’ Todd, and the emotionally unavailable beef cake who told her – to her FACE – that he couldn’t commit, she chose the latter.
Ali said she listened to her head, her heart and her gut to make her decision. She forgot to mention her vagina, which is weird because it screamed like a stay-at-home mum at a One Direction reunion concert every time it came close to Taite.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHSGHDHGDGEUGSH *sobs uncontrollably*
If you’ve read the reactions from fans, you’ll know that there was a major outcry over Ali’s decision. People seem to think Ali made a terrible mistake in deciding to ditch 26-year-old Todd who wanted to propose after two months of knowing her.
Todd is young, dashing and all too gentle for the cutthroat world of prime time reality television. He promised Ali everything she wanted – the marriage, the kids, the happily ever after. While he’s been emotionally perceptive and kind throughout the season, portraying a maturity beyond his years, he somehow maintains the fearless wonder of a 7-year-old who still thinks ‘princess’ is a viable career option.
“And we’re going to live in a castle, and we’ll have unicorn rainbow cake for breakfast every morning!”
I’m sure a lot of people found Ali’s rejection of Todd painful to watch, but I found it a relief. Like when a child is told Santa isn’t real, no-one in Todd’s life has to suffer the pretence anymore that fairytales are a real thing. Well, I mean, they can get a bit too real in the sense that most fairytales involve someone having their feet sliced off, or a kidnapping.
The things we do for love.
What Todd offered Ali was everything she thought she wanted. He ticked all of her boxes (well, except for one), but the hard truth is that none of us know what we really want until it’s standing in front of us and we’re shoving our tongue down its throat. To put it another way, when it comes to love, none of us know what the hell we’re doing.
This season we watched Ali rationalise decision after decision, knocking each guy out one at a time – too young, too old, too much of a party guy, too boring. She tried desperately to push herself away from toxic patterns, and did an OK job.
A+ for ditching this walking red flag.
Yet, to her biggest question – that is, could the men in the house see themselves starting a family with her? – The dude she landed on answered with a big fat NOPE.
“Actually, I want to focus on my career as an influencer”
Ali wanted the fairytale, but in the end, she chose this guy:
God help her.
I might gross myself out by saying it, but this was the right choice. Not because he’s her perfect match, and not because she might change him – she won’t – but because she wants him, and he doesn’t need to be her end game. She doesn’t need an end game.
‘Happily Ever After’ implies that the complexities of a woman’s life end after she meets the right man. But, if The Bachelorette can teach us anything, it’s that this mythical ‘right’ man does not exist.
After Ali chose Taite, he told her that it felt like the beginning of their journey, and he was right. It’s just another beginning, who knows (or cares) where it will end?