It’s 2020, which means each day we are ambushed with an onslaught of buzzing social media notifications and the temptation to compare our lives to other people’s ‘highlight reels’ while aimlessly scrolling through an endless feed of nonsense.
It’s times like these that I cast my mind back to a simpler time, when flip phones and polyphonic ringtones were the nifty new technological advancements and MySpace reigned supreme.
Sadly, MySpace (as it used to be) is long gone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get all nostalgic and remember the things that made it so great:
Your First Friend Was Old Mate Tom
MySpace did a really great job at making us feel like less of a loner by automatically blessing us with MySpace creator Tom as our first ‘friend’ upon the creation of a profile. Is there anything more iconic than his low-key, pixelated profile picture? I think not.
Fun fact: Tom Anderson sold MySpace to News Corp in 2005 for $580M before retiring in 2009. Today, Tom is living it up in exotic destinations all over the world as a travel photographer.
‘Coding’ And Customising Your Profile
One of the coolest features of MySpace was the way you could completely customise your profile. Using basic HTML and CSS, users were able to change their profile backgrounds, add funky fonts and even change the cursor on your page. I proudly made mine a disgusting mixture of different fluro colours.
Showing The World Your New Fave Banger
Another way MySpace gave us ~permission to shine~ was by allowing users to add a song to their profiles. This was pre-Spotify and Soundcloud, so the novelty of your favourite track auto-playing with the click of a button really never wore off.
The Stressful Yet Exciting Politics Of Picking Your Top 8 Friends
Before there were Internet trolls and keyboard warriors, there was Top 8 politics – and damn, did it get nasty. Back in the day, MySpace allowed you to carefully select eight of your friends to be featured on your profile page in the Friends section. It made relationships, it ruined relationships, but my goodness, I miss it dearly.
Commenting Was The Way To Communicate
These days, there are endless ways to get in contact with your loved ones. If you haven’t caught them on text or phone call, you could try FaceTime, WhatsApp, SnapChat, or Facebook Messenger. In MySpace’s heydey, commenting was all the rage. It was simple, really – if you wanted to chat to someone, you’d visit their profile and say “hey, how are you?” WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.
Glittery Graphics
In 2019, there;s no need to communicate using words when there are so many amazing Gifs and emojis out there. But before all of this innovative technology, we had glittery graphics. You could tell your MySpace friends you were “100% cute” or an “angel baby” and there was absolutely no need for an explanation.
There Wasn’t An Annoying App For It
One of the biggest things I miss about MySpace is the fact that there was no app for it. Because our phones were so prehistoric, the only way you could find out if someone had left a comment on your profile was by firing up the old Dell and logging in, the old fashioned way. These days, our notifications are being pushed to us left, right and centre – there really is no escape, unless you delete the app and suffer through soul-crushing FOMO.
Perhaps it’s time for the simplicity and innocence of MySpace to make a comeback. Lord knows we could all use a break from the mounting pressures of a social media-driven life.