Bleats

Social Media In 2020 Is Making Me Miss These Simple Pleasures Of MySpace

What a time to be alive.

It’s 2020, which means each day we are ambushed with an onslaught of buzzing social media notifications and the temptation to compare our lives to other people’s ‘highlight reels’ while aimlessly scrolling through an endless feed of nonsense.

Modern life. Credit: Giphy

It’s times like these that I cast my mind back to a simpler time, when flip phones and polyphonic ringtones were the nifty new technological advancements and MySpace reigned supreme.

Sadly, MySpace (as it used to be) is long gone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get all nostalgic and remember the things that made it so great:

Your First Friend Was Old Mate Tom

The real MVP. Credit: Giphy

MySpace did a really great job at making us feel like less of a loner by automatically blessing us with MySpace creator Tom as our first ‘friend’ upon the creation of a profile. Is there anything more iconic than his low-key, pixelated profile picture? I think not.

Fun fact: Tom Anderson sold MySpace to News Corp in 2005 for $580M before retiring in 2009. Today, Tom is living it up in exotic destinations all over the world as a travel photographer.

‘Coding’ And Customising Your Profile

Iconic. Credit: Codecademy

One of the coolest features of MySpace was the way you could completely customise your profile. Using basic HTML and CSS, users were able to change their profile backgrounds, add funky fonts and even change the cursor on your page. I proudly made mine a disgusting mixture of different fluro colours.

Showing The World Your New Fave Banger

Mine was (obvs) My Chemical Romance. Credit: Giphy

Another way MySpace gave us ~permission to shine~ was by allowing users to add a song to their profiles. This was pre-Spotify and Soundcloud, so the novelty of your favourite track auto-playing with the click of a button really never wore off. 

The Stressful Yet Exciting Politics Of Picking Your Top 8 Friends

Kim Kardashian’s actual MySpace profile. Credit: Mic

Before there were Internet trolls and keyboard warriors, there was Top 8 politics – and damn, did it get nasty. Back in the day, MySpace allowed you to carefully select eight of your friends to be featured on your profile page in the Friends section. It made relationships, it ruined relationships, but my goodness, I miss it dearly.

Commenting Was The Way To Communicate

These days, there are endless ways to get in contact with your loved ones. If you haven’t caught them on text or phone call, you could try FaceTime, WhatsApp, SnapChat, or Facebook Messenger. In MySpace’s heydey, commenting was all the rage. It was simple, really – if you wanted to chat to someone, you’d visit their profile and say “hey, how are you?” WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

Glittery Graphics

Credit: Giphy

In 2019, there;s no need to communicate using words when there are so many amazing Gifs and emojis out there. But before all of this innovative technology, we had glittery graphics. You could tell your MySpace friends you were “100% cute” or an “angel baby” and there was absolutely no need for an explanation. 

There Wasn’t An Annoying App For It

Credit: Giphy

One of the biggest things I miss about MySpace is the fact that there was no app for it. Because our phones were so prehistoric, the only way you could find out if someone had left a comment on your profile was by firing up the old Dell and logging in, the old fashioned way. These days, our notifications are being pushed to us left, right and centre – there really is no escape, unless you delete the app and suffer through soul-crushing FOMO.

To app or not to app. Credit: Giphy

Perhaps it’s time for the simplicity and innocence of MySpace to make a comeback. Lord knows we could all use a break from the mounting pressures of a social media-driven life.

This Perth Vegan Demanding Her Neighbour Stop BBQing Is Next Level Petty

The beef is sizzling hot.

If you’re not a carnivore, there’s a good chance the smell of sizzling meat won’t be to your liking. But would you cancel barbecues because of it like this Perth vegan?

Annnd one for the vegans. Credit: Giphy

Cilla Carden made headlines this week after she demanded her neighbours stop smoking, bouncing balls and cooking barbecues in their backyard because she’s fed up with the smell of meat. 

According to 9News, she’s so sick of the stink, she’s taking her neighbours all the way to the State Administrative Tribunal and Supreme Court. 

“They’ve put it there so I smell fish, all I can smell is fish. I can’t enjoy my backyard, I can’t go out there,” the Perth vegan said. “It’s been devastating, it’s been turmoil, it’s been unrest, I haven’t been able to sleep.”

Ron Swanson is quaking. Credit: Giphy

When 9News visited the neighbour, they’d removed the barbecue and even told their kids to stop playing basketball. “It’s deliberate, that’s what I told the courts, it’s deliberate,” the neighbour said.

Turns out the Supreme Court wasn’t having any of Carden’s claims, and dismissed her case. 

Social media users have weighed in on the issue, with some siding with Carden’s complaints and others calling it “a neighbour nightmare.”

Unreasonable or? Credit: Giphy

“This is the only time I’d call for compulsory national service,” one Facebook user commented. “It’s called communal living. Respecting your neighbours. It requires you to give up certain expectations. If you want that much freedom move to where there are no other people.”

Credit: Facebook

It’s not the first time a vegan vs. meat eater beef has made headlines. In 2016, singer-songwriter and staunch vegan Morrissey forced food vendors at Chicago’s Riot Festival to stop cooking and selling meat during his set. 

Morrissey’s assistant be like. Credit: Giphy

The request didn’t go down well, and food vendor Puffs of Doom responded by selling a sandwich named the ‘Pork Morrissey Grilled Cheese,’ which was filled with four kinds of cheese, barbecue pulled pork, and bacon ranch mac and cheese. AKA a vegan’s worst nightmare.

Morrissey released an album in 1985 called Meat Is Murder, so his hatred towards those who eat meat isn’t totally surprising.

Morrissey’s had beef for a while. Credit: Rough Trade Records

Are these demands to cancel all meat-related activities fair enough? Or insanely unreasonable? Either way, it sounds like way too much effort being put into complaining about day-to-day activities that were never intended to offend.

This Pilot Pulled Off An Emergency Landing On His First Lesson, What Have You Done Today?

Talk about a rough day.

If you think you’ve had a particularly stressful, or productive day, chances are you’ve got nothing on this novice pilot, who managed to pull off an emergency plane landing during his first lesson.

Thank you. Credit: Giphy

An audio recording has surfaced of student pilot Max Sylvester calling air traffic control for advice on how to safely land a two-seater aircraft after his instructor collapsed mid-flight.

Max Sylvester. Credit: Twitter

“He’s leaning over my shoulder. I’m trying to keep him up but he keeps falling down,” Sylvester is heard telling the controller during the call.

“Do you know how to operate the airplane?” air traffic control asks. “This is my first lesson,” he responds.

“Have you landed any aircraft before?” he asks. “No, I haven’t” Sylvester responds. 

Talk about a stressful day on the job.

The operator in air traffic control manages to talk Sylvester through the steps, and says, “You’re doing a really great job. I know this is really stressful. But you’re going to do an amazing job and we’re going to help you get down to the ground, OK?”

After nearly an hour, Sylvester somehow managed to land the plane safely at Perth’s Jandakot Airport and now his instructor is in a stable condition in hospital. 

Luckily no one was hurt. Credit: Giphy

Speaking to ABC News, owner and operator of Air Australia International Chuck McElwee said the emergency plane landing “could have gone way, way bad.”

“But everything worked out right, and it worked right, mostly because of the cooperation of the tower, the fact that he was a student – that he was dedicated and he knew what he was doing and he pulled it off – and that my flight instructor went up to the tower and they all worked together.”

Phew. Credit: Giphy

Props to Sylvester and the controller for keeping their cool during this seriously stressful situation. Lord knows if it were me, there would have been far more screaming.

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