Bleats

Of Course Taylor Swift And Selena Gomez Have Adopted Pete Davidson's Pre-Ariana Ex As Their New Gal Pal

How much do you think they grilled her about that BDE?

Milo and Otis. Bert and Ernie. Peanut butter and chocolate. These are beautiful, powerful friendships – but they are nothing compared to the bond between a woman who’s been unceremoniously dumped and some random drunk chicks who decide they are supposed to be BFFs.

This is the energy I am imagining around this wine date between actual BFFS Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, and Cazzie David, a comedian and writer who’s unfortunately best known for her connection to more-famous men.

She’s the daughter of Seinfeld co-creator Larry David, and she dated Pete Davidson for years before he way-too-quickly hooked up with Ariana Grande last year.

Taylor put up this blurry, kind of unflattering, and relatable as heck selfie with the two late last week, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Apparently at least on Haim sister was also at this hang, which I was rudely not invited to.

Swift is famous for collecting gal pals like your weird aunt with a room full of creepy porcelain dolls. She and Gomez have been, apparently, actual friends since the days when they were each dating a Jonas brother – but there’s no indication that either of them are particularly buddy-buddy with Ariana.

But can’t you just picture them sitting around listening to Sweetener in grudging admiration, and then in a totally unrelated conversation, deciding to adopt David, like a way-richer Cher and Dionne gazing at Tai in gym class?

Perhaps now that she’s buried the hatchet(s) with Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian, Swift feels like she needs to start new beef with 20-wine-teen’s reigning queen of the breakup banger?

Or maybe I’m being uncharitable, and they just thought Cazzie seemed cool and might like a drink.

And be honest – as if you don’t want to get wine-drunk with her and ask her what the deal is with Pete’s junk.

2018’s Big Breakups May Have Destroyed Our Faith In Love - Again - But We Learned Some Valuable Lessons

From baby names (bad!) to BDE (good!).

From Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (RIP, teenage you) to the emotional whiplash that was Pete and Ariana, 2018 brought love, patience and pain to those of us who project our own fantasies and hopes onto the relationships of famous people we do not know.

We may not have learned to, y’know, not do that any more, because we will never learn that. I refuse to.

But we did gather some other valuable wisdom to take with us on our path towards true love, or at least a big fat ring, two kids with dumb names and eventual matching Instagram breakup posts about respecting each other’s journeys.

 

Don’t call your son Bear

Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne called their son Bear, and Alicia Silverstone and her now ex-husband also called their son Bear. Both couples split this year.

Coincidence? Or did they sit up at night, staring at their sleeping partners, realising that’s a ridiculous thing to actually legally name your infant child, and wondering what else they might have been wrong about?

We may never know. But is it worth the risk?

 

Keep the number of matching tattoos to one or two, maybe…

Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande got at least eight tattoos for and about each other in the four months or so they were together, and they’re already having to cover them up. My poor heart may never recover from that rollercoaster ride.

 

…but hey, everything is a lesson

“Sry I dipped.”

We may never know if Pete was the one who taught Ariana patience, love or pain, but she seems to have emerged into a new creative peak period.

And he’s clearly been having a rough time since the breakup, but at least now everyone knows he has a HUUUUUUUGE penis – can’t hurt his options, right?

 

Some things really are too beautiful to last

Jenny Slate is obviously gorgeous and talented, but she’s still not necessarily the exact person you’d picture to end up dating Captain America. As the equal second-best of the Hollywood Chrises*, the fact that Evans’ taste in women runs to smart, slightly goofy indie actresses instead of, like, exclusively Victoria’s Secret models gave us a little hope that it might also run to, say, pale and perpetually tired-looking brunettes who write snarky things about pop culture for a living and eat noodles in bed. Just for example.

Unfortunately, they did not get married and stay happy together forever, therefore we’re all dying alone without getting to wake up next to Steve Rogers even once.

*For reference: 1: Pine, 2: Evans/Hemsworth, 4: Pratt. No correspondence will be entered into.

 

Airing your dirty laundry in public works… kinda

Cardi B and Offset do not have a reality show of their own (yet) but they might as well at this point. Whether it’s Cardi slurping coffee as she talks about how much she misses that “heavy” D “destroying” her, Offset interrupting her at work with embarrassing flower displays, or the two of them jet-skiing in Puerto Rico in an apparent reunion… only for Cardi to inform everyone that no, she just wanted that D, was she not clear about that?

So let that be your final lesson of 2018: the ultimate Big Dick Energy is being honest about what you want, whether it’s love and commitment, or just a BD.

Let that be the E you take into 2019.

Pete Davidson’s Mental Health Scare Shows How Crucial It Can Be To Share When You’re Struggling

Reaching out however you can is always a good idea.

Pete Davidson was confirmed to be safe on Saturday night (NYC time), after an Instagram post where he indicated a serious deterioration in his mental health had friends and fans very worried.

“I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore. I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”

He then deleted his social media accounts, including Instagram, where there were reportedly a number of aggressive and negative comments on the above post.

New York police reportedly performed a wellness check on Davidson at the SNL studios at NBC’s 30 Rockefeller Plaza headquarters, and an NBC rep separately contacted some media outlets to confirm he was at work, safe, and not alone.

(Update: Davidson sat out the evening’s live broadcast for the most part, but did appear briefly to introduce musical guests Miley Cyrus, Mark Ronson and Sean Ono Lennon,who sang ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over)’.)

A number of celebrities posted their support and condemned the trolls making harmful comments, while Ariana Grande (who he’s reportedly blocked) posted and then deleted worried posts indicating she’d rushed to his office or apartment building to offer support.

Davidson has posted on social media about his mental health in the months since the end of his whirlwind engagement to Grande, and has been open about it in the past – from the early trauma of losing his firefighter father on September 11 to managing his Crohn’s disease, and what he believed was clinical depression but was later diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder.

“I’ve been getting online bullied and in public by people for 9 months. I’ve spoken about BPD and being suicidal publicly only in the hopes that it will help bring awareness and help kids like myself who don’t want to be on this earth,” he said in a post earlier this month.

“No matter how hard the internet or anyone tries to make me kill myself. I won’t. I’m upset I even have to say this.”

A history of self-harm is a critical element for a BPD diagnosis, and Davidson’s also spoken this year about a suicide attempt he made a few years after his father’s death.

His still-recent breakup, and the pressure of increased media and fan attention as a result of the relationship, could be risk factors as well.

But while it may be disturbing and scary for his fans and loved ones, making the post shows how Davidson is using his higher profile to model openness, even and especially when he’s really unwell.

Being open about your mental health, including the parts that are a struggle, doesn’t just help other people feel less alone. It also means that if you say something in any forum that sounds alarming, people know to take it seriously.

And if reaching out to anyone individually is too much to handle, it’s not indulgent or “attention-seeking” to throw a note on social media, any more than it’s attention-seeking to yell for help if, say, you get caught in a rip at the beach.

And just because someone posts on socials, and other people will have seen it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and help if you can. You might be the only one who reaches out.

Do Jada Pinkett-Smith and Pete Davidson know each other well? Who knows? You don’t need to be someone’s best mate to ask them if they’re OK, to call emergency services and ask them to check on someone, or to be the one who rallies a crowd around them to keep them safe.

If stories like this are hard for you or triggering, or if you want to know how to support someone who is suicidal, please talk to someone about it. Lifeline and Beyondblue are always there:

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Beyondblue Suicide Callback: 1300 659 467

Lifeline also has some simple resources to support someone who’s suicidal.

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