Sydney Fun Crackdown Hits Stupid New Low As Bar Cops Ban For "Clinking Sounds"

Sydney, I love you but you're bringing me down.

Sydney’s thriving nightlife-policing scene has gotten even more exciting with the news that a venue was forced to cut entertainment because of noise.

Was it bands? No, of course not – they were all but legislated out of existence ages ago, silly!

Nor was it recorded music – heck, Sydney’s fun police are now investigating venues for having mirror balls as a gateway accessory to dancing under what should really be called The Footloose Initiative.

No, this venue was contacted by the city council after complaints about clinking noises.

Specifically, from pétanque balls.

Black Bottle wine bar in Darlinghurst had a little sandpit area in their courtyard which they were using to play the French bowls game – a game which, it has to be said, isn’t very loud.

However, a resident complained and the Sydney City Council were forced to ask them to put a hold on their infernal clinkery until a satisfactory solution could be found for all parties.

And to be fair, the SCC can’t pick and choose which complaints they investigate. But even so, this seems like a new level of stupid.

Pictured: the resident that complained.

So, to recap: things you must put up with as a resident of Sydney: traffic noise, gridlock, inadequate public transport, accomodation stress. Things which can absolutely be complained about and shut down: music, dancing, games of bowls.

Reports that the NSW government were pressing ahead with laws prohibiting all recreational gatherings of two or more people in non-casino context could not be confirmed at press time.

You Still Don't Have A Hope In Hell Of Ever Buying A House In Sydney

Hope springs eternal, sure, but current price drops aren't making a serious difference to you having your own digs.

The newspapers are filled with doomsaying headlines about how the property crash is about to leave Australia a post-apocolyptic hellhole where we all fight one another for petrol in the Thunderdome, so it’s nice when someone comes along and tries to spin it as a feel good story about opportunity.

Like, for example, that the drop in prices means you, the metropolitan housing enthusiast, will now be able to save for that deposit more quickly. Yay!

And that sounds peachy! Until you actually look at the numbers and go “…sorry, what?”

Housing is dropping all over but the biggest drop has been in Sydney, where the Domain First Home Buyers Report has announced that Sydney homebuyers have seen their saving-time drop by a whole five months.

Which means that if you’re buying a house in the outer bits of Sydney it’ll only take you a bit over six years. Or, if you want to live in the actual within-sight-of-Sydney” bit of Sydney, 20 years. Great!

Yes. Yes it does.

The larger reason for this is that this drop in prices hasn’t been accompanied by, say, a pay rise for anyone that might make saving a deposit, much less paying off a mortgage, easier for most working people.

So while the actual amounts may have smudged downwards, your purchasing power is not noticeably better than it was six years ago.

So: if you thinking on picking up that adorable Chippendale terrace for a song in the immediate future it might be better to direct that energy toward something more realistic, like growing wings or understanding MAFS.

Hey, NSW Voters: Get Ready For The Messiest Election In History As Every Party Punches Themselves In The Face

Those democracy sausages better be SENSATIONAL.

If there’s one thing that Australian politics has inspired in 2018 it’s been a retina-dislodging eyeroll followed by hiding under a pile of blankets and hoping that the crocodiles take over.

After all, if you believe Bob Katter, that appears to be their endgame…

Anyway: cooked as the national political landscape appears to be it’s nothing compared to the situation in NSW which has moved into “cooked, served up and scathingly reviewed on Yelp.”

Where are things at? Why, let’s take a look!

You’ve already clicked, you’re committed now.


The opposition party are currently led by… um… you know, the white man that wears a shirt and has a face? Thingy. Michael Daley! That’s it!

To be fair, he’s only been in the job for a bit over a month, and why? Because his predecessor Luke Foley was forced to resign and leave politics at the next election after accusations surfaced in parliament that he sexually harassed an ABC journalist.

Those accusations were made despite the journo in question never having made them public, by a government MP under parliamentary privilege. And Foley announced plans to sue the journalist for defamation, and then quietly backed down.

So Labor have that hanging over them, and yet are still entirely competitive. Why? Because…


The NSW government of Gladys Berejiklian is hanging on for dear life partially because of high profile infrastructure up-cockery, like the CBD light rail development being over budget, behind schedule and subject to a legal challenge, and the controversial WestConnex motorway also appearing to be a complete boondoggle.

However the bigger problem is the federal Coalition government of Scott Morrison has been doing them no favours, with scandals and embarrassments and dismal polling.

That Scotty is a Sydney boy just compounds matters since few voters meaningfully distinguish between Members Of The Liberal Party Of NSW What Work In Sydney and Members Of the Liberal Party Of NSW What Work In Canberra .

Thus they’ve been forced to attempt to distinguish themselves from their on-the-nose federal colleagues by, among other things, asking the PM not to help campaign and openly defying their federal colleagues on matters of energy policy.

And to be fair, federal Labor are doing well on a policy of distancing themselves from the Morrison government, so it makes perfect sense for Berejiklian to do the same.


The NSW party has always had a schism around those who advocate for better environment policues and those who want to burn capitalism to the ground, and that turned very public with the decision not to re-endorse federal senator Lee Rhiannon.

But things really got messy when MP Jeremy Buckingham was accused of sexual harassment, a claim he has consistently denied, which came to an ugly pinnacle when MP Jenny Leong used parliamentary privilege to name her colleague in parliament and read a statement from the alleged victim.

Buckingham has now spitefully quit the party and is planning to contest his seat as an independent while the local party are split between those who support him, those who agree with Leong, and those who wish the whole thing would just go away.


It’s all but certain that current federal senator and headline-magnet David Leyonhjelm will quit on the not unreasonable grounds that he definitely cannot hold on to his senate seat federal election and will almost certainly notch up the much, much lower number of votes necessary to get into the NSW Legislative Council.

That prospect is unlikely to fill any NSW parliamentarians with enthusiasm.

In short, it’s probably a coincidence that people are fleeing Sydney for Melbourne at the highest rate in decades.

Or maybe not.

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