Bleats

Something Is Terribly Wrong With Wario And His Nipples

Not trying to make Wario feel bad about himself but there are questions that need to be answered.

Nintendo and Sega have dropped a new trailer for their new game, Mario and Sonic at the Tokyo Olympic Games 2020, which contains a screenshot of a topless Wario standing on top of a winners podium for some reason. Now this is fine and all, except for the part where his nipples are virtually non-existent.

Look, we don’t expect Nintendo and Sega to make their characters anatomically correct but there’s something seriously wrong when Dr. Eggman has nipples and Wario doesn’t.

The lack of body hair is understandable. While you might expect the pot-bellied, mustached Wario to be sporting more body hair than Donkey Kong, he more than likely shaved it all off in order to swim faster. More hair equals more drag and he needs all the speed he can get.

But as for his virtually non-existent nipples? We need answers.

If you examine Wario closely – which we obviously did because this is a serious investigation – you can see he has two faint areolae but no nipples anywhere. Shaving off body hair for aerodynamic reasons is one thing but I can’t imagine there’s much time to be gained by sanding down your nipples.

Nintendo saw fit to give Mario some nipples and even a penis so it’s baffling why they didn’t extend Wario the same courtesy.

And let’s not even get started on his lack of a bellybutton.

It’s an absolute travesty and is more shocking than the revelation that Goombas actually have arms. It’s not quite up there with Sonic’s live-action design but it’s getting close.

The developers should’ve known they were going to stir the pot when they put two shirtless characters next to each other and one clearly has nipples while the other doesn’t.

Maybe the developers are saving Wario’s nipples as DLC or for the day one patch when Mario and Sonic at the Tokyo Olympic Games 2020 comes out in 2020. Or perhaps they’re leaving it as content for Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Paris 2024.

Who really knows at this point and only time will tell.

Protesters Aren't Only Getting Oppressed in Hong Kong, It's Happening In Australia Too

Australia isn't free from China's pro-Beijing propaganda play but we shouldn't be surprised.

The Hong Kong protests have escalated dramatically since June and things won’t be calming down any time soon given the stalemate between lawmakers and the pro-democracy protesters, as well as China’s influence on events.

The conflict has since spilled out into countries around the world, particularly in Australia. Demonstrations by Chinese communities and uni students in Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide and Melbourne have become regular sights.

Much like what’s happening in Hong Kong, some of these demonstrations in Australia have occasionally gone a bit unruly due to tensions between pro-Beijing and pro-democracy crowds, though no tear gas cannisters have been shot at people yet, thankfully.

The reasons for this conflict isn’t as simple one side versus another, but a major factor for why this is happening in Australia can at least be partially attributed to China.

China has attempted to silence the pro-democracy protesters by spreading pro-Beijing propaganda and essentially stirring up conflict between among the Chinese community. But this tactic isn’t just confined to Hong Kong and China as propaganda has also spread to Australia and is having a similar effect.

Speaking to an international uni student from China, Crystal, they reveal that not only is there constant discussion about what’s happening in Hong Kong among Chinese students on a daily basis, there is a considerable amount of pro-Beijing material and Chinese media reports being spread around on online platforms like Weibo and WeChat.

Within Crystal’s friend groups, which comprises of people from both Hong Kong and China, material from both sides is rife but pro-Beijing propaganda makes up a much larger proportion of the stuff that’s being spread around.

While many demonstrations across Australia have been reported as peaceful, Chinese media reports have exaggerated them as being “violent”, mischaracterised protesters as being unruly and toxic, and have spread misinformation about alleged conflicts that never actually happened.

When I asked about how her Hong Kong friends and other international Hong Kongers are reacting to the protests, Crystal says while they’re understandably on the pro-democracy side, they are also unwilling to speak out due to the increasing number of pro-Beijing people opposing them, which is progressively getting worse due to the discord being sowed by China’s dissemination of fake news and propaganda.

There’s certainly numbers to back up why they’re afraid to speak their thoughts. There are 1.2 million Chinese people living in Australia and Hong Kongers only make up about 100,000 of that total.

It’s difficult to peacefully protest when not only are you largely outnumbered but the opposing side has been fed on a diet of misinformation that paints you as the spawn of Satan.

Everything that’s going down in Hong Kong right now is also happening in Australia, albeit on a smaller scale. And just like how tensions over there aren’t going to ease up any time soon, there’s conflict simmering underneath the surface here Down Under that won’t be going away just yet.

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