Nintendo and Sega have dropped a new trailer for their new game, Mario and Sonic at the Tokyo Olympic Games 2020, which contains a screenshot of a topless Wario standing on top of a winners podium for some reason. Now this is fine and all, except for the part where his nipples are virtually non-existent.
The lack of body hair is understandable. While you might expect the pot-bellied, mustached Wario to be sporting more body hair than Donkey Kong, he more than likely shaved it all off in order to swim faster. More hair equals more drag and he needs all the speed he can get.
But as for his virtually non-existent nipples? We need answers.
If you examine Wario closely – which we obviously did because this is a serious investigation – you can see he has two faint areolae but no nipples anywhere. Shaving off body hair for aerodynamic reasons is one thing but I can’t imagine there’s much time to be gained by sanding down your nipples.
Nintendo saw fit to give Mario some nipples and even a penis so it’s baffling why they didn’t extend Wario the same courtesy.
And let’s not even get started on his lack of a bellybutton.
It’s an absolute travesty and is more shocking than the revelation that Goombas actually have arms. It’s not quite up there with Sonic’s live-action design but it’s getting close.
The developers should’ve known they were going to stir the pot when they put two shirtless characters next to each other and one clearly has nipples while the other doesn’t.
Maybe the developers are saving Wario’s nipples as DLC or for the day one patch when Mario and Sonic at the Tokyo Olympic Games 2020 comes out in 2020. Or perhaps they’re leaving it as content for Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Paris 2024.
Who really knows at this point and only time will tell.