Someone Please Save Monty Mole From The Clear Distress Of Playing Whack-A-Mole In Nintendo’s New Super Mario Party

Current stress level: Monty Mole forced to turn against his own kind.

Super Mario Party has just been released on Nintendo Switch and it has become quickly apparent that it’s not all just fun and games for everyone involved.

Specifically, the virtual board game has a whack-a-mole mini-game that sweet baby angel Monty Mole does NOT enjoy playing. But if you choose Monty Mole as your avatar, he must, begrudgingly, whack his fellow moles.

It is a disturbing sight to see.

The YouTube channel ‘GameXplain’ pointed out the dark irony of the torturous ‘Rhythm and Bruise’ game, and now the shell-shocked look on Monty’s face is killing souls everywhere.

Poor Monty Mole sweats literally the entire time he is forced to turn against his own and goes wide-eyed occasionally as he grapples with the violent betrayal he has inflicted against his will.

It’s very dark for a game titled Super Mario Party.

Only in 2018 does this sinister thought experiment make it from the development stage into the finished product of a game. Not even Super Mario is safe from a little piece of the dystopian pie.

But you can choose to refuse the path of sadism and just don’t make Monty Mole play the mole-whacking game! Do the right thing. Save Monty.

Mario Fans Out-Horny Their Sexy Female Bowser Fan Art With An Actual Cosplayed Bowsette Porno

Princess Peach is gonna be pissed.

Recently the Mario gaming community blew up the internet with fan-drawn impressions of the imagined female version of Bowser: Bowsette.

The fan art depicts Bowsette as big-breasted and half-naked, mostly decked out in a dominatrix-esque outfit, which we thought was peak horny for the gaming community.

But we stand corrected. Someone has made actual Bowsette porn with actors cosplaying the Super Mario characters.

Among an already-vast range of animated Bowsette porn which I can now report very much exists online, there is this new, fairly elaborate, addition to the genre.

On PornHub this is listed as a parody video, which is what I therefore thought it was until Bowsette and Mario actually started engaging in felatio. On a #69 race car bed.

It’s at once a travesty of childhood imagery and a masterpiece of niche gamer kink.

The video has already been watched nearly 90k times on PornHub and heads up, it’s not for the faint-hearted, or an open plan office.

The Excitement Over The Voluptuous Fan-Drawn Female Version Of Bowser From Mario Pretty Much Sums Up How Horny The Gaming Community Is

Why am I not surprised about the mad BDSM vibes coming from Bowsette?

Since Nintendo Direct showed debuted new footage two weeks ago that introduced the concept of of a gold crown with the power to transform the Super Mario Bros. characters into hyper-feminine versions of themselves, the gamer community has really been having a lot of NSFW fun.

Basically everyone is obsessed with the idea that turtle-like creature Bowser might turn into a super-sexualised, voluptuous female version of himself.

Twitter user and evidently horny gamer @ayyk92 kicked things off with their comic depicting the mutation of Bowser into a sexy blonde chick:

People LOVE sexy Bowser – Bowsette, if you will. Now the internet is inundated with fan art of female Bowser and it gets saucy I’ll tell you that. I know it’s not news that gamers are a horny breed but man, sometimes I forget just how much lust for the female body circulates that community.

Just, wow.

Should we be surprised that her transformation outfit seems to be a physics-defying latex suit with some dominatrix-esque accessories? Probably not.

A moment of silence for all the gamers who think that Bowsette’s breasts would be astronomically larger than her head.

There’s now debate in the Mario community over whether Bowsette would have red hair and maybe tan skin to be a more realistic transformation of Bowser’s original form.

Or maybe even look something a little more like this:

But the majority is far more into the large-breasted, scantily clad, blonde Bowser, and they’re taking over the internet.

So the gaming community is definitely artistically skilled, and horny. That we know. The hype around the female bowser erotic fantasies has really blown me away.

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