Hoo boy, Nintendo has a whole heap of skeletons in their closets, don’t they?
It was bad enough last year when it was revealed to us that Venusaur is actually a frog and not a four-legged walking plant of immense power, but this latest revelation is levels beyond that because it revolves around Goombas from the Big N’s most popular franchise, Super Mario.
In the last three or so decades of Super Mario‘s existence, we’ve known Goombas as being those cute little things that look like mushrooms with stubby legs who act as nothing more than red-shirts for an Italian plumber to jump on.
But it turns out our knowledge about Goombas has all been one filthy lie.
That’s because Goombas actually have had arms and hands this whole time, they’re just folded neatly behind their backs. Yep, you read that correctly.
Goombas. Have. Arms. And. Hands. This. Whole. Time.
Holy hell, this is crazy. It’s even crazier than the time I drove a real-life Mario Kart through Tokyo while half-blind and nearly died.
Goombas have arms and hands. They are folded neatly behind their backs. pic.twitter.com/nRXVi6u92f
— Joe Piconi (@joepiconi) April 19, 2019
As it turns out, that figurine of a Goomba with arms isn’t the only instance where their limbs were shown.
Back in 1986, Nintendo released a Super Mario anime film and there is a brief moment in it where you can see a couple of Goombas with arms just chilling about.
What on earth is going on here? Has everything we’ve known about Super Mario all been false information? Does that mean all Goomba plushies are wrong and are nothing more than just cursed things now?
— Anthony (@KirbyCheatFurby) April 19, 2019
Needless to say that this revelation blew a lot of people’s minds when they found out:
I really hope this is a bootleg. pic.twitter.com/ImHQwdOrCB
— Nick Raffa supports Gamer Rights (@animallover360) April 19, 2019
But pic.twitter.com/Pq6E0UyIqI
— ZardY (@YZard) April 19, 2019
— Train#4 (awaiting nintendo E3 impact) (@Train494593086) April 19, 2019
There’s a lot of shocking news every day in the news but this is perhaps the most jarring. https://t.co/2Y6ZeiJaiU
— Alex Pardee (@alexpardee) April 19, 2019
Okay, maybe I can slowly get used to the fact that Goombas have arms and haves, but I don’t know if I can handle more big reveals like that. Next thing Nintendo will be telling me that Super Mario Bros. 3 was actually a play the whole time and – oh wait, it was?
There are so many myths about Mario… Mr Miyamoto reveals the truth. #SuperMario30 http://t.co/OsjfUzSW6D
— Nintendo UK (@NintendoUK) September 10, 2015
Damn.