Bleats

You Missed The Chance To Buy A Legit 'Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker' Script On EBay

It's what happens when someone tells you the odds.

The folks behind Star Wars have made secret-keeping and leak prevention into something of an art form ever since Disney took over the franchise. So it’s a bit of a surprise to hear from J.J. Abrams himself that not only did someone manage to lose a Rise of Skywalker script, it even appeared on eBay for everyone to bid on.

Chatting about this heart-rate raising moment on Good Morning America, the director said one of his stars – he wouldn’t name who – left their Rise of Skywalker script “under their bed” and it was found by the cleaner, who gave it to a Star Wars-loving friend – who then promptly put it up on eBay.

Now before you go scouring eBay for this Rise of Skywalker script, Abrams said Disney caught wind of it and quickly got it back before Star Wars nerds parted with their life savings in an attempt to gain access to this treasure chest of secrets before the film’s December 20 release date.

While some folks would’ve been wary of getting their hands on the script for fear of spoilers, the temptation of the Dark Side might’ve been too great given how Rise of Skywalker is the grand conclusion of everything (until the new films arrive in 2022). Plus there’s the interesting tidbit of how Abrams picked George Lucas’ brain for ideas on how to end the Sequel Trilogy, which makes things even more intriguing.

But alas, we’re starting to delve into ‘what if” territory now so let’s just give props to Disney for somehow containing the leak and maintaining its reputation for being the Fort Knox of spoilers.

This just leaves one remaining question about this weird little Rise of Skywalker story: who was the one who left their script for the cleaner to find?

Presumably it’s one of the leading stars since they’re likely the only ones who have access to the script. We can only assume that they had to have a very uncomfortable chat with J.J. Abrams and their Disney bosses about losing such an important item.

If we were to hazard a guess, our money is on either John Boyega or Oscar Isaac because we can’t really see Daisy Ridley or Adam Driver being so careless.

Black Panther Literally Helped Save A Poor Kid Who Got Impaled In The Face

Who said you couldn't learn anything from a Marvel movie?

When you sit down to watch a Marvel Cinematic Universe film, you’re doing it for the entertainment, explosions and quips. You’re certainly not watching an MCU flick for any important life lessons or insights into the human psyche. But for some kid in America, watching Black Panther literally helped save his life.

11-year-old Xavier Cunningham (via People) was playing in a treehouse one day when he was attacked by a swarm of wasps, which by the way are absolute bastards and deserves all the flack they get.

In an attempt to escape from those painful, god forsaken insects, Xavier accidentally fell from a ladder to his treehouse and impaled his face onto a foot-long meat skewer that was left out in the open for some unknown reason.

This wasn’t some mere flesh wound either as it pierced through the front of his face and through the back of his skull.

A SFW recreation of the accident.

Luckily for Xavier, he didn’t panic, left the skewer in his head as it was, and was rushed to hospital, where doctors were able to remove the skewer once they recovered from the shock of the “one in a million” chance that the object somehow missed the kid’s nerves and brain stem.

When Xavier was asked later how he managed to keep calm and not touch the skewer, he said he learned it from watching Black Panther. Specifically, the fight at the end between T’Challa and Killmonger.

At the climax of the final battle in Black Panther, T’Challa stabs Killmonger in the chest with a dagger. After an emotional final few words between cousins and a moment of understanding while watching the sunset, Killmonger removes the dagger from his chest and dies.

Xavier says after he “watched Black Panther” and saw the part where “he just takes it out and dies,” he “was like, ‘Nope!'” and opted to keep the metal skewer in his head until medical aid had arrived.

He also mentioned how Jesus also played a part in saving his life, but that’s a far less interesting excuse as to how he survived so we’re just going to brush over that and keep the focus on the Black Panther stuff, which is pretty amazing no matter how you look at it.

So there you go, next time someone questions the merit of a Marvel film, the excuse “it may literally save my life” is actually applicable thanks to this bizarre incident involving Black Panther.

Turns Out Being A Real-Life Ninja Is More Lucrative Than You Might Expect

You'll pay off that HECS debt in no time as a full-time ninja.

With full-time work in Australia still proving difficult to come by, it’s not easy to earn a living these days, especially if you’re someone who just finished uni and has a massive HECS debt to pay off. However, there’s a job out there in the world that not many people know about, is more lucrative than most entry-level gigs, and involves living out most people’s childhood dreams: being a real-life ninja in Japan.

Disclaimer: not actually what a ninja does.

Due to Japan’s well publicised aging population crisis, this has had a knock-on effect on the country’s number of trained ninjas, which in turn has had an economic effect. Despite what movies and TV shows will have you believe, ninjas aren’t trained assassins going around killing Japan’s enemies. They’re trained performers who help preserve and educate people on a big part of Japan’s culture.

According to NPR‘s Planet Money podcast, the Japanese city of Iga, which claims to be the birthplace of the ninja and has a population of about 100,000, sees about 30,000 tourists visit every year to experience the annual ninja festival.

But due to the aforementioned aging population crisis, a low unemployment rate, and the lack of young folks wanting to live in a rural country town in the middle of nowhere, Iga is suffering from a ninja shortage and this has had an effect on the local economy as there are fewer and fewer performers available every year.

Actual footage of young people fleeing Iga for the city.

In an attempt to galvanise the economy and revive interest in the art of being a ninja, Iga is putting more resources into various ninja-related projects that’ll hopefully encourage tourists to stay longer in the city, such as new museum.

As for the dropping ninja numbers, it remains to be seen whether people will be drawn to the prospect of suiting up to be a performer. But while the specialised training and isolation of Iga might be a turn off, the prospect of being a ninja may attract some attention on the salary alone.

Present-day ninjas can earn anywhere between $31,000 to $115,000 annually, which is pretty damn good and more than what you’ll get if you went down the retail route.

With that kind of money, you’ll pay off your HECS debt in no time!

That being said, that salary range isn’t exactly set in stone, nor are there necessarily open ninja vacancies immediately open for those willing to be all trained up so don’t get overly excited just yet.

But when you’re stuck in a situation where employment is hard to come by due to your lack of experience (which is brought on by the lack of employment), perhaps jetting off to Japan to be a ninja isn’t the worst alternative to consider.

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