Bleats

There's A Big Problem With Ewan McGregor Coming Back As Obi Wan For A Star Wars Show

Why hello there, narrative conundrums!

There’s not really much we can defend about the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy without throwing in a very defensive “okay, yes, but…”. But if there’s one thing in those films that everyone is in agreement with, it’s Ewan McGregor and his pitch perfect version of Obi Wan Kenobi.

Disney clearly think that as well and have decided to rope McGregor back into the Star Wars fray by giving him his own Obi Wan TV show.

According to Deadline, McGregor is in talks to dust off his lightsaber again for a yet-to-be titled Obi Wan Disney+ limited series. Apparently the idea for a series originated from discussions for a solo film for the character, which got scuppered when Solo: A Star Wars Story didn’t earn the $40 trillion dollars needed to warrant the greenlight.

Now this is fantastic news for Star Wars fans as many have been clamouring for more Obi Wan content ever since McGregor hung up his Jedi robes at the end of Revenge of the Sith. However, there’s one big problem with the idea of a limited series starring the Jedi master.

The show is planned to have six to eight episodes according to The Hollywood Reporter, which means around six to eight hours of content.

So… what exactly are they going to fill those hours with?

Use the force and think, Obi Wan.

The show is almost certainly going to be set in the years between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, which will see Obi Wan hiding on Tatooine and babysitting Luke Skywalker for the next few decades.

This means he can’t be going on any grand adventures or do anything big on Tatooine since that’ll draw the Empire’s attention. If this happened, he’d have to leave with Luke and it would take an incredible amount of narrative gymnastics in order to get the story back to where it needs to be at the start of A New Hope.

Having said that, the show also can’t just be Obi Wan hanging out in the desert, tricking Sand People and forgetting droids he knows since that’ll be an incredibly boring six to eight hours.

This is going to be a tough nut to crack.

So realistically, the only idea that could work within the show’s narrative confines is by having bounty hunters hunting down Jedi but even that approach could run out of steam before the end of the series’ six/eight-episode run.

But look, Ewan McGregor is coming back as Obi Wan Kenobi for a new Star Wars show and that’s a big win on so many levels. With no timeline confirmed for when the series will be in production or released, there’s plenty of time for Disney to hash out something that’ll make this show work.

If it doesn’t, well, at least we’ll have The Mandalorian to tide us over.

Bogans Can Dine On The 'Fat Pizza' Reboot Nobody Asked For

Who on earth thought a Fat Pizza reboot would be a good idea?

Fat Pizza, the cult Aussie bogan show you probably saw on SBS at some point, is coming back to our TV screens after 12 or so years off the air.

No, this is not a joke.

Look, I’m just as confused as you are.

The folks over at Channel Seven clearly know something we don’t because the network in their infinite wisdom has ordered a new season of Fat Pizza, titled Fat Pizza: Back In Business.

Show creator Pauly Fenech issued out a statement alongside the announcement and promising fans there will be “political incorrectness at its best.”

“Fat Pizza is one of the boldest Aussie comedies on television. Get set for bigger and cheesier storylines straight from the headlines. Social media trolls, get ready to rumble!”

There must be something in the water because we keep getting reboots of things no one asked for.

Fat Pizza was definitely a cult show back in the day but I don’t know if I would classify making mean-spirited fun of racial and cultural stereotypes as “bold” comedy.

That sort of stuff might’ve slipped by without much of a whimper during the show’s original 2000-2007 run but good luck trying to sell the same kind of Aussie bogan jokes today without offending people.

And besides, if I wanted to watch a show that revels in punching-down humour and offensive racial stereotypes, I’d just watch whatever rubbish Chris Lilley is pumping out.

“Comedy.”

Fenech will be returning for the reboot alongside classic characters like Mama, Sleek and Bobo, as well as appearances from Housos characters Shazza, Vanessa and Kev the Kiwi.

Interestingly, the show’s original breakout star, Rebel Wilson, is reportedly not involved with the new season. Read into that however you will.

As for when the new season of Fat Pizza will arrive, it will apparently drop later this year on 7Mate but don’t hold your breath. I certainly won’t.

An Aladdin Sequel Is In The Works And It's All Your Fault

Thanks to you, Aladdin is taking one more jump ahead.

Disney’s live-action remake of Aladdin has come and gone like a puff of blue smoke from a lamp.

And if we’re all being honest, it’s actually quite surprising how well it had done for itself despite initial concerns over Will Smith looking blue Shrek. In fact, you all spent over $1 billion at the worldwide box office just to see Aladdin so there’s clearly a lot of love for the remake.

And it’s thanks to that incredible amount of love for the film, talks are underway for a sequel.

Producer Dan Lin spoke to SYFY WIRE about Aladdin and revealed that the film’s success has meant that “early stages” talks are underway for “another movie”.

“People clearly loved the movie and watched it multiple times and we get lots of fan letters and people asking us to make Return [of] Jafar.”

Since things are still in the, well, early stages, there’s not really much to talk about regarding what direction the sequel will take other than it’ll “not be a straight remake of any movie that’s been made before”, figuring out “the best way to go with [the] characters” and trying to getting Guy Ritchie back to direct.

So for those hoping for a live-action remake of Return of Sexy Jafar or The King of Thieves, well maybe don’t hold your breath.

But while Aladdin did stick pretty closely to the animated classic, it did introduce new elements such as Jasmine becoming sultan and the genie falling in love, not to mention how Jafar is technically still in play as a rival genie, so there’s plenty of material to play around with for a sequel.

Now nothing has been officially been given the greenlight yet so let’s not get too excited yet. But let’s be honest here, a film that’s made over $1 billion is almost certainly going to get a sequel because it’s just smart business.

So well done to all you people who went out and saw Aladdin multiple times in the cinema and spent over $1 billion on it, you’re the reason why this (hypothetical) sequel exists.

Pop-up Channel

Follow Us