Bleats

Rey Isn't The Only One Who's Gone To The Dark Side In Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

The Emperor has gone on a big recruiting spree.

After a bunch of hype about how great The Rise of Skywalker will be and how Rey’s character arc will finally be addressed, Disney has proved that it’s not just all talk by dropping an epic new trailer to the final instalment of the Star Wars Sequel trilogy.

Let’s not beat around the bush: it looks pretty epic and there’s a bunch of great shots in there that’ll inspire hundreds of YouTube videos with big red circles in the thumbnail.

There’s (apparently) new locations:

Epic space battles between the plucky Resistance and the overpowered First Order:

And the pièce de résistance of the entire thing: Rey seemingly turned to the Dark Side and rocking an awesome new lightsaber that would make Kylo Ren cry (again).

But while the whole Star Wars discussion will be about Rey’s descent into the Dark Side – which is a false turn and is likely a Dagobah situation or a Rey clone, let’s be honest here – people are missing out on a second character who has also seemingly become a Sith lord: C-3PO.

Seriously, look at his “eyes”. Those are the eyes of someone who’s fallen under the influence of Palpatine or someone who’s just under the influence, but that’s highly unlikely since this is a Disney film so Sith lord is the only explanation.

Just think about how great this wild turn would be after taking stock of what’s gone down in Star Wars Episodes VII and VIII and what we all think will happen:

  • Tired: Kylo Ren finding redemption
  • Wired: Rey going evil
  • Inspired: C-3PO being the secret mastermind all along

Don’t hold back now, J.J, you’re onto something here. Anakin burst a Sith chip during his childhood when he built C-3PO and now his faithful droid will enact his will. It’s goddamn brilliant.

With The Rise of Skywalker set to drop on December 19, we won’t have too long to wait until we see how Threepio’s grand plan has finally unfolded after all these years of being the butt monkey and patiently biding his time.

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom May Be Entertaining, It's Also Hella Racist

1984 was a different time.

It’s been 35 years since Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom first hit cinemas and it’s held up pretty well as an action flick. But beyond that, well, it’s not exactly become the poster child for political correctness. In fact, one might even call the movie racist.

Since Raiders of the Lost Ark already used the Nazis as the baddies, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas decided to dip their toes into the “evil Asians” pool for Temple of Doom.

Needless to say that this part of the film isn’t particularly flattering these days.

Nothing wrong with this image at all.

There’s the wildly inaccurate depiction of Indian people eating fried bugs, eyeball soup and monkey brains as part of their every day cuisine, not to mention the bastardisation of Hindu culture through the cartoonishly evil Mola Ram, his cult of midless zealots and their worship of the goddess Kali as an evil deity rather than her usual image as a paradigm of positive change.

Hell, the film even managed to squeeze in a “white saviour” narrative by having a helpless village under the control of Mola Ram and are in need of Indiana Jones to save them.

It was almost like Spielberg and Lucas purposely made Temple of Doom super racist just to piss off as many people as possible.

It’s not just South Asian culture that got lampooned in Temple of Doom as East Asia got some of the casual racism spotlight with Short Round, Indy’s young Chinese sidekick.

Sure the kid is pretty switched on and can handle himself well in a tough situations, but it’s also pretty clear that Short Round exists as comic relief through his accent, his “funny” pronunciations of certain words and acting as a big foreign contrast to Indy’s white-ness.

And what kind of Asian name is Short Round anyway? Spielberg and Lucas clearly busted a brain cell coming up with that one.

With so much problematic content going on in Temple of Doom, it’s perhaps no surprise that The Last Crusade went back to Nazis as the baddies. Perhaps Spielberg watched the final product and realised that they’d went way too far off the deep end and landed into racist territory.

It’s unlikely we’ll see another Indiana Jones film like Temple of Doom because of how the culture has shifted since 1984, not to mention the fact that Harrison Ford is 77 and is probably a bit over everything at this point.

But then again, maybe they’ll lean into that and turn Indy into a racist old grandpa for the next film that’s in the works.

Stop Telling People If A Movie Has A 'Twist', It's Exactly The Same As A Spoiler

Just don't say anything at all.

We’re living in an age of entertainment where it’s nearly impossible to avoid spoilers for the latest movie or TV show. It’s gotten to the point where having something spoiled is life-ruining for certain folks.

The common way for people to get around spoilers is to either have others shut the hell up, make sure everyone preface anything they say or write with giant warnings, or go off the grid in order to keep their head in the sand.

Having said that, there are people and places who commit an equally offensive sin as revealing spoilers that you may not realise: revealing that there’s a major twist or twist ending.

Yeah, that’s not on.

I get that people are trying to not reveal anything important and are usually doing it out of good faith when they tell people something has a great twist of some kind, but it’s just as bad as dropping a spoiler.

When you tell people something has a twist, you’re ruining the experience they might’ve had if they’d gone into it without any knowledge. Once it’s been revealed, any surprise is gone and then you’re just watching something in anticipation of the “twist.” Everything just becomes less exciting.

And a “twist” is ultimately part of a movie or TV show’s story, so telling someone about it is exactly the same as a spoiler.

If you must talk about a great “twist” scene to someone, tell them about the parade scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or the twist contest scene from Pulp Fiction. Those are technically in the same ballpark.

You can talk about this one all you like.

So if you’re one of these people, please stop telling others about a movie or TV show’s twists and turns because that makes you no better than those folks who go around spoiling everything for everyone.

If you’re constantly on the receiving end of these reveals, maybe start going to the cinema alone. It’s actually pretty great and there’s no one else there to ruin anything for you.

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