Bleats

Spider-Man Is Getting A Spot In The Avengers Theme Park So Maybe There's Still Hope

With great amusement comes great responsibility.

Look, we’ve been trying to come to terms with the news that Sony and Marvel couldn’t play nice and that Spider-Man will no longer be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but there’s a reason to still feel a glimmer of hope – in the form of a theme park.

See, we know the MCU’s head honcho Kevin Fiege has been arguing that nah, he never intended Spider-Man to be a permanent part of the franchise (although those that saw Far From Home would probably point out that, as conclusions go, it’s not remotely a conclusion).

“Wow, that’s a wide open new series of plots for multiple new films! Anyway, bye!”

And there are other hints floating around which suggest that everyone assumed that another mutually-profitable extension of the Marvel-Sony Spider-Man custody agreement was on the cards, but one big one is that there’s going to be an Avengers theme park and Spidey’s totes in it.

More specifically: an Avengers campus is coming to Disneyland in California and Paris, including a Spider-Man ride called “Worldwide Engineering Brigade, aka WEB, huh-huh-huh).

It’ll be alongside a Dr Strange sanctum, what’s being billed as an Ant-Man themed kitchen with foods of unexpected sizes and a Black Panther quinjet ride, with a Guardians of the Galaxy ride slated for Epcot.

And the fact that the attractions so far announced focus on characters which we know the MCU are working on going forward, as opposed to departed heroes like Iron Man, Captain America or Black Widow, we can decide as a community to interpret this as a multi-million dollar investment in Disney assuming they’re getting some rights sorted out.

At least, that’s what we’ve decided to do because we are nothing if not optimists when it comes to Marvel. JOIN US.

Forget Spider-Man, Tom Holland's Got Another Big Film Loss On His Hands

With great responsibility comes great abdication of responsibility.

You’ve got to feel for Tom Holland, the man who was until very recently assumed to be the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as the greatest of all Spiders-Man, for he has just suffered another loss in the form of a director for the doomed Uncharted film adaptation.

Yes, Spiders-Man. That’s the proper plural, just like Attorneys-General. I will not hear otherwise.

I KNOW RIGHT IT JUST MAKES SENSE.

As you’re doubtless aware by now, Sony has just had the rights to Spider-Man return to them and expressed their lack of interest in doing any more things that involve Marvel using the character. So that’s that for Pete and the MCU, despite Far From Home setting up a whole lot of loose thread-work which was clearly meant to be addressed in future Marvelry.

And Uncharted should be an absolute no-brainer of a film, given that the games upon which the film is based are all very cinematic; which is a polite way to say that they rip the hell off of the Indiana Jones films and also every other swashbuckling adventure film with a wise-cracking hero.

And when Holland was signed on to play Nathan Drake everyone went “really? But isn’t he a dead ringer for Nathan Fillion?”

Yes. Yes he is.

But since Fillion is nudging 50 and Holland is but a callow youth, it was clear that they were thinking long term and starting with what is essentially a prequel.

However, it’s just lost another director with the news that Dan Trachtenberg has decided yeah, nah.

And this wouldn’t be noteworthy were it not the fifth – count ’em! – director to jump from the project since it was first announced almost a decade ago, following David O. Russell (who planned to star Mark Wahlberg as Drake), Neil Burger, Seth Gordon, and Shawn Levy.

The team, five directors ago.

Anyway, now seems like a perfect time to remind you that there is a campaign afoot to have a building in Edmonton renamed in honour of Mr Fillion, who called the city home, and have it used as a public meeting space.

And anyone who doesn’t think the world would be improved by the existence of the Nathan Fillion Civilian Pavilion has already given up on life and hope, sir.

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