Bleats

South Park Is Saying What We're All Thinking About The Chinese Government

How has South Park has become the moral compass for the Western world?

South Park has been making fun of everything and everyone for over 20 years now (good god it’s been around for that long?!) and yet its somehow managed to outdo itself by taking some huge shots at China and its slew of controversial censorship bans.

First it began with South Park‘s episode ‘Band in China,’ which lampoons China, its influence on Hollywood and businesses, and the ridiculous lengths at which it brings down the censorship hammer.

Unsurprisingly (and ironically), China banned the episode because it wasn’t too pleased with at how South Park made fun of it and decided to chuck an Eric Cartman-sized tanty.

The show’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, weren’t deterred and issued out an apology that was dripping with their trademark insincerity:

“Like the NBA, we welcome the Chinese censors into our homes and into our hearts. We too love money more than freedom and democracy. Xi doesn’t look just like Winnie the Pooh at all. Tune into our 300th episode this Wednesday at 10! Long live the Great Communist Party of China! May this autumn’s sorghum harvest be bountiful! We good now China?”

The duo then doubled down on their anti-China stance in South Park‘s 300th episode by getting Randy to literally declare “f**k the Chinese government”:

It’s big, bold and a typical South Park thing to do. But even more than just making fun of China and its censorship hammer, Randy’s big “f**k the Chinese government” moment is basically voicing what we’re all thinking at the moment.

Over the past week or so, we’ve been shown first-hand just how companies and people are bending over backwards to avoid pissing off China despite knowing about its stance on democracy and censorship. Seriously, this past week we’ve seen:

That’s putting it lightly.

And yet despite all those cooked incidents, South Park has been the only big mainstream Western thing (besides the internet) that’s come out and directly slammed China for being an arsehole to the world and democracy.

In the (probable) words of Eric Cartman, Trey and Matt are the only ones with balls at the moment.

It’s doubtful that Trey and Matt planned to have South Park go from vulgar animated show to being the moral compass for the Western world but that’s where we’re at right now.

PlayStation 5 Vs. Xbox Scarlett: Everything You Need To Know Before Making Your Choice

Or you could not eat for a year and get them both.

It’s been a good generation for video games but the next era is about to dawn upon us in the form of Sony’s PlayStation 5 and Microsoft’s Xbox Scarlett (which is likely not going to be the final name for it).

Both are penciled in for the holidays in 2020, which gives us plenty of time to take a deeper look at whether the PlayStation 5 or the Xbox Scarlett will be your console of choice. If you’re planning to get both then maybe skip this next part and go straight to the end.

PlayStation 5

WIRED got the lowdown on Sony’s latest gaming console and the TL:DR is that the PlayStation 5 is going to be a hell of a beast. While Sony are keeping its cards close to its chest, they did pull the curtain back on some of its impressive specs:

  • Size – No idea but it likely won’t be smaller than the PS4.
  • CPU – AMD Zen 2 (cutting edge stuff).
  • GPU – AMD Navi with ray tracing.
  • RAM – Dunno.
  • Disk Drive? – Yep.
  • Storage – Solid-State Drive
  • 4K? – Definitely, plus there’s 8K support.
  • Price? – No clue but it’ll likely be expensive (around $550 going off what the PS4 initially cost).
  • Backwards compatibility? – Yes, thank frigging Christ.
  • Cloud streaming? – PlayStation Now but it’s unconfirmed, not that it matters given how our internet won’t let us use this properly anyway.
  • Controller – New one that will apparently resemble the PS4 one (no surprises there) but will be charged by USB-C.
  • X factors? – The PlayStation 5 will allow you to install games in chunks so you can choose what bits you want rather than getting everything including stuff you’ll never touch.
Those are some good specs.

Xbox Scarlett

Microsoft pulled the curtain back on its Xbox Scarlett – titled Project Scarlett for npw – a bit earlier than Sony but its console is certainly no slouch. Hell, it looks like it might even win out on the power specs if the recent PS4 Pro and Xbox One X comparisons are anything to go by.

  • Size – No idea but it likely won’t be smaller than the Xbox One.
  • CPU – AMD Ryzen (more cutting edge stuff).
  • GPU – AMD Navi with ray tracing.
  • RAM – GDDR6 RAM.
  • Disk Drive? – Yep.
  • Storage – Solid-State Drive.
  • 4K? – Yeop, and also with 8K support.
  • Price? – No clue but it’ll also be expensive (around $600 going off what the Xbox One initially cost).
  • Backwards compatibility? – Again yes, thank god.
  • Cloud streaming? – Project xCloud but it’s also unconfirmed, not that it matters again because of our dodgy internet.
  • Controller – Backwards compatible with Xbox One controllers but no idea on any new controller yet.
  • X factors? – No idea but Microsoft will surely have something up its sleeve.
Microsoft are doing well this gen.

Verdict

Based on what we know about the consoles (so far), there’s honestly barely anything separating the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Scarlett when it comes to hardware so the battle will likely be won on the software front.

As for the actual game front, only one title has been announced – Halo Infinite for Xbox Scarlett – but if we go by what happened when the PS4 and Xbox One were released, Sony will have the edge based on the deep well of game studios it has under its belt. Plus we have big teases from some acclaimed studios so it looks like Sony will be coming out guns blazing.

Having said that, Microsoft appears to have learned its lesson and has been acquiring game studios left and right in recent years so it seems like we’re going to get some quality exclusive titles that’ll match Sony’s impressive output.

As for which one to go, well it’s like picking between Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo or Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal – they’re both great in their own different ways and you’re not going to be disappointed with what you end up getting.

Except for your wallet.

The Office Risked The Wrath Of PETA By Nearly Killing A Horse Onscreen

The horse would've been fake but try telling PETA that.

Whenever a TV show goes on for too long, it inevitably reaches a “jumping the shark” moment. The Office managed to avoid this (mostly) but there was a moment in time when the show almost went too far (at Jim and Pam’s wedding no less) while also risking the wrath of PETA.

In a EW retrospective on the Jim and Pam’s wedding episode, show creator Greg Daniels revealed he really wanted to incorporate a horse in the nuptials as part of a convoluted gag that would culminate in the horse going over a waterfall.

I’ll let Jim respond accordingly to this one:

Daniels’ original idea was to have Pam’s ex-boyfriend, Roy, rock up to the wedding on a horse in an attempt to win her back. Concurrent to this plotline was a running gag where Dwight has a theory that horses swept over a waterfall will survive due to their (supposed) ability to swim.

You can see where this is going.

Anyway, Roy’s intended romantic moment ultimately fails and the horse gets abandoned. Dwight being Dwight decides to take the horse and test out his aforementioned waterfall theory. At the last second Dwight and the horse go over the falls, he bails and leaves the horse to suffer its watery fate.

We never find out whether a horse can survive a tumble over the falls but that’s kind of besides the point isn’t it?

Unsurprisingly, Daniels was the only one who thought the horse idea was funny and it took everyone working on The Office to say no for him to drop the idea.

DANIELS: “Then we got to the table read and I was the last defender of the horse. The entire staff and actors were yelling at me: ‘Don’t ruin Jim and Pam’s wedding with a horse!'”

[PAUL] FEIG: “We were all like, ‘This is insane. You can’t send a horse over the falls.’ And Greg was like, ‘No, it would be really funny.’ And there was this whole debate that went on in the writers’ room, people are like, ‘I don’t know, I think this is kind of dark and weird.’


DANIELS: ‘I finally backed down and took the horse out.’

Just imagine the commotion PETA would’ve kicked up had Daniels put his foot down and kept the horse scene in, even though the horse in question would’ve almost certainly been fake.

Anyway, since the Jim and Pam wedding episode now needed a new ending. The desperate writers eventually came across the infamous JK Wedding Entrance Dance viral video on YouTube, said “screw it, let’s just do that,” and that’s how the episode’s hilarious dance entrance scene came to be.

In the end, it all worked out for the best. The Office avoided its own “jump the horse” moment, Jim and Pam got their fairytale wedding (sorta), no horses were harmed (as far as we know) and there was no PETA drama to top everything off.

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