Yooooooouuuu wouldn’t believe the mess Soulja Boy and I have found ourselves in.
Let’s start from the very beginning.
Once upon a time I had a website.
It was a regular site dedicated to displaying my portfolio as a writer. I had a cute little ‘About Me’ section and a fun ‘Contact Me’ page. Nothing flashy, but it was delightful.
Then one fateful day, the bad thing happened.
I stupidly let my URL expire, and before you could say ‘nastrovje’ – a Russian porn company bought my site and turned the page into full-blown, hardcore, gangbang fun.
(Not fun for me I might add – but plenty of fun for my friends).
Besides being legitimately annoying, the other problem with this scenario was that my website details had been sent to hundreds of my contacts, perspective employers, friends and family.
My site was also linked to all my online profiles.
There was nothing I could do but pray that no one actually went to the site to check out my work.
But one day, I got that fateful email: ‘Alana, we need to talk about your website!!!!!’
It was my publisher – my international, super important, big business publisher who had a link to my website on their website, which was redirecting my Young Adult readers to my official page…
It was not good.
To make matters worse, I’d just ghost-written a teen novel the year before, and had been given a nom de plume by another publisher.
This name had clearly not been researched, because guess what happened when you typed the name into Google? Yep, more porn!
Turns out my pen name was also the name of one of the most popular gangbang porn stars in the world.
Everywhere I went, online porn haunted me.
It was a distressing time.
So, when I heard about Soulja Boy’s newfound career spruiking dragon dildos on Twitter, I could only assume he had been hacked, or was suffering at the hands of an expired URL, just like me.
I felt for the guy. And then I laughed like any other normal individual.
So how did this whole hilarious yet insanely random mess get started?
After “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” topped the charts back in the day, Soulja Boy faded quietly into the background, popping up every now and then to promote his tunes across his different social media channels.
He was also helping Bad Dragon sell all kinds of weird and wonderful dildos. The only thing is, he didn’t know it until now.
What makes this even better is that Bad Dragon isn’t your regular sex toy company – they’re all about “making fantasties real” – so… if you want to find a custom, hand-made toy modelled off the genitals of a dragon, or other fanciful beasts, this is the site for you.
The tweets were initially published in 2013 when Soulja Boy’s Twitter account was linked to the site of his record label, sodmgco.com (Stacks on Deck Money Gang).
But when the domain for sodmgco.com expired, just like me, he didn’t act fast enough and someone else managed to snap it up.
This genius managed to redirect Soulja Boy’s tweets to the Bad Dragon website in all its beast and monster-penis glory.
So, what’s the moral of the story? Do not under any circumstances let a domain that’s attached to your name expire – you will live to regret it.
I’m just going to leave this here…
Don't miss your chance to score these awesome colors, Corporeal and Astral. Available for this weekend, I don't know if there will be a part 2 or not. 😉 https://t.co/sWlzSBrJYq pic.twitter.com/1vGUQLdj24
— Bad Dragon (@bad_dragon) April 30, 2018