Bleats

Your Relationship Status Does Not Define You, Leave It Off Your Bio Already

Also, it’s just annoying.

Social media is great for lots of things. Tagging your friends in memes and posting life highlights being two of the main ones.

I totally understand posting a picture of the new puppy you got (I am ALL FOR dog photos) or you and your partner on a night out or a shameless selfie. Hell, I’ll even hit ‘like’ on a photo of your lunch if it’s aesthetically pleasing enough.

But one thing I will never understand is the need to post your partners name in your social bio. You know exactly what I’m referring to. The stupid ‘name’/‘initials’ followed by a love heart and mainly found on Instagram accounts.

It especially irks me when I see it on the profile of a fully grown, successful, independent adult. We’re not in primary school and we’re way past the days when updating your Facebook relationship status was cool, so what is the thought process behind adding your partners initials into your bio?

Is it because you’re stuck in 2010? Or is it because you see other people doing it and want to do the same? It fascinates and infuriates me.

I will not judge you if:

You include initials in your bio to repel unwanted attention. I know some people, especially social media influencers and women, do this to try and stop followers from pursuing them.

No one likes an unsolicited dick pic.

No thank you.

I’l also forgive you if it’s a joke. I have a friend whose couple name works out to ‘B.J’ and embraces the innuendo.

We’re all mature adults here.

~Mature~

If you’re a twelvie you’re also off the hook. You don’t know any better, I understand.

If you do not fit into one of the above three categories then, I’m sorry, I will hate you a little bit for including those initials in your bio.

Don’t get me wrong, I love love. I respect your love for your partner. I love my partner very much. I just don’t see the need to advertise it to the world with some emojis in my bio.

Especially because my bio is visible to anyone and everyone who views my profile, no matter if it’s on private or public. I’m not hiding my relationship, but I also don’t feel like it’s a necessary piece of information for people to decide to follow me.

I also don’t feel like it’s a necessary piece of information for people to judge me off. I am not defined by my relationship. Therefore, my partner’s initials do not need to go in my bio.

Exactly^

Having said all this, I still respect individual choice. If you like including your relationship status in your Instagram bio, then that’s your prerogative.

But maybe also think about the things that really define you- the things that you really love and want people to know. Your entire personality can not and should not be summed up by a couple of letters and some emojis.

James Charles Has Proven One Thing - He Doesn't Know How To Flirt At All

Sis got no game.

If you’re a mature adult, you’re probably not across the James Charles x Tati Westbrook drama. You probably don’t even know who the hell they are.

Lucky for you, I am not a mature adult and I am fully across the drama and here to fill you in.

Basically, James and Tati are both YouTubers. They used to be besties (despite their almost 20 year age gap) but James promoted a product that was a big competitor of Tati’s and so the saga began.

Tati, being the mature 37-year-old woman she is, posted an exposé video of sorts on her Youtube calling out James on a bunch of things, including accusing him of manipulating straight men.

Now, that’s a big call and definitely one I can’t speak on. But what I can say is a little crush and sometimes even a little flirting never hurt nobody.

The ‘feud’ between the two YouTubers has caused James to lose millions of subscribers on his channel and Tati to gain a lot.

Basically it’s a lot of he-said-she-said high school-type B.S that the world has blown way out of proportion.

Honestly, I find it kind of funny. It’s great entertainment value (not even gonna deny that I’m invested) but that’s all it is. One person and bunch of screenshots cannot speak to the entire history and character of another person.

What screenshots CAN speak to, however, is a person’s flirting ability. And James Charles has none. Zero. Zip. Sis has NO game whatsoever.

Male model Jay Alvarez posted a screenshot of a conversation her had with James earlier this year and it’s hilariously bad.

@James, you need to work on your pickup lines.

First of all, “hi daddy” is not subtle whatsoever. Like…no.

And the whole middle part is giving me anxiety. I’m getting horrible flashbacks to when I was 15 and messaging my crush on MSN in a way that they wouldn’t know they were my crush but so they would totally know they were my crush and would eventually ask me out so we could fall madly in love.

Ya feel?

Memories.

Cue James who f’s up the subtly factor again by saying he slid into Jay’s DMs because “lmao you’re hot.”

DUDE. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING.

If you want to flirt with guys (gay, straight, or other) that’s your prerogative but at least be good at it.

We hope you learn your lesson James Charles: learn how to flirt. Or be screenshotted and shamed.

Lol no.

P.S. props to Jay for handling the unwanted flirting with kindness.

There's A Simple Solution To Make Sure Your Family Will Stop Grilling You About Dates

Need me one of these.

There’s two types of geniuses in the world.

There’s the I’m good at maths and can do code in my head kind. And then there’s the kind who create pamphlets.

Now I know pamphlets aren’t exactly exciting and definitely don’t require genius work, but stay with me here because I’m not just talking about any old pamphlet.

The pamphlet in question was specially designed to answer all the annoying questions asked by family members ahead of the date. Revolutionary.

“More questions? Don’t.”

REVOLUTIONARY I TELL YOU.

The pamphlet designer in question is Mary Beth Barone, who is also the new love of my life. She’s 27, lives in New York, and spoke to Buzzfeed News about the inspiration behind the pamphlet:

“I wasn’t sure how to play it with all the family around so I was lamenting to my one sister I told because I knew there would be a lot of questions,” she told the publication.

Barone said her sister joked about “mak[ing] a pamphlet,” and she decided to follow through.

“I created a doc and thus the pamphlet was born,” she said.

Ah to be inside the mind of a genius.

Sounds about right.

I do have one word of advice for Mary though (from one genius to another, ya know): patent the hell out of that idea. Then sell the hell out of it on Etsy or something because, I’m telling you, it will make you millions.

Okay, not millions, but I’m certain there’s a market in this. Nosey family members are the worst and passive aggressive techniques to shut them down are the best. Your pamphlet tackles both of these things perfectly and you really should do yourself a solid and sell some copies.

Or at least do me a solid and sell some copies, ‘cause I need one in my life please and thank you.

#Trending

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