Pinterest is not a new thing. The social media platform was first launched in 2010 and has been the favourite stomping ground of hipsters and stay-at-home-mums alike.
I first downloaded Pinterest one fateful day in 2014(ish) and made some boards around the tattoos I wanted to get and ‘gypise fashion’. I’m not proud of past me – it was a phase.
A phase which didn’t last long because I grew out of my interest for Pinterest in exactly the same amount of time it took me grow out of arrow tatts and glitter makeup.
But, I recently downloaded the app again and, two days in, I have a confession to make: I have a problem.
I have created only six boards but, apparently, six is all you need to get lost in the beautiful, aesthetic, addictive cesspool that is Pinterest.
I have found myself and my scrolling thumb lost in pictures of Parisian outfits and velvet couches and parqueted floorboard interiors. It is everything I could ever dream literally in the palm of my hand it makes me feel equal parts fulfilled and sad – there is no conceivable way any normal person could achieve a Pinterest aesthetic in real life.
I tried to put together an outfit I saw on there and I looked like a stumpy, daggy potato compared to the girl in the photo.
How is that fair? It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. They get you hooked then crush your soul.
I follow this^ realisation with a request: someone please save me from myself.
Someone please take my phone and wipe the app then wipe my memory of its existence. I don’t have the strength to do it myself.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be sitting in my bedroom in the dark re-pinning photos of hair scarves, turtle necks, and gold chains.