Smash Mouth Vehemently Defend Their Title As The Official Shrek Band After Smashing Pumpkins Tried To Come For The Crown

Shrek without Donkey performing I'm A Believer? I am not a believer.

Shrek is a masterpiece (fact) and it is made complete by a perfect soundtrack (fact #2). While there are many great artists that appear on the revered Shrek soundtrack, Smash Mouth undoubtably claim the throne with their opening scene track ‘Allstar’ and closing scene cover of The Monkees’ ‘I’m a Believer’.

I’m not saying necessarily this is the greatest final scene musical performance in cinematic history, but I’m definitely not saying it isn’t.

So, one does not simply claim that they were the first choice band for the iconic closing credits scene of Shrek and expect Smash Mouth to let it slide.

And yet, Billy Corgan of fellow smashy 90s band, Smashing Pumpkins, has really tried it. In a Q&A session on Instagram Corgan claimed, “We were offered the end credit song for Shrek 1 but the offer was withdrawn and given to Smashmouth [sic] (who had hit with Monkees song).” 

Yea OK Billy. Smash Mouth wasn’t having a bar of it.

“Actually we said no and Michael Austin from Dreamworks kept calling.” Reads Smash Mouth’s tweet.

“That went on for over a month. We assume multiple bands we’re asked. If it feeds Billy’s ego to think they we’re first let him think that. Def would have been a darker approach. are on it & others.”

Apparently the song Smashing Pumpkins would have used for the final celebratory scene of Shrek was ‘Untitled’. ‘Untitled‘. That is what it is called.

What a pity that Shrek did not end with this utterly joyless track that reeks of a forced attempt to be 2 cool 4 school. Just title your damn song pumpkin patch kids.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that Smash Mouth do in fact love being known as the official reigning Shrek band and they will defend their throne with passion.

The moral is also that Shrek is great, always.

An Official Investigation Into Which Madonna Is The Best Madonna That Is Definitely Not Just Fangirling Over Her In Honour Of Her 60th Birthday

Gaultier cone bra Madonna? Duet with Britney Madonna? Only one Madonna can win.

Madonna is a force to be reckoned with. She is a legend, an icon, a game changer, a star, and she is celebrating her 60th birthday today. Happy birthday Madonna!

To this day Madonna continues to be boldly present and unapologetically herself, even though society still clings to the backwards notion that women should merely fade away gracefully after the ripe age of about 29. Classic society, ha ha ha.

Madonna upholds her career-long reputation for defiance with no sign of slowing down, and we all continue to worship the pop queen.

In honour of her 60th birthday, we are reflecting on the many iterations of Madonna that we have had the pleasure to enjoy. Her mastery of perpetual transformation has allowed her to constantly reinvent herself, while staying very much herself.

Madonna has been so many places and done so many things in her career, and it is time to decide, once and for all, which Madonna is the best Madonna.

In no particular order, let’s take a look at our nominees.

Gaultier Cone Bra Madonna

Madonna changed the world as we know it when she stepped out on her 1990 Blonde Ambition Tour in the Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra. She absolutely bloody rocked the now-iconic structured pink corset and led the way for lingerie to be acceptable outerwear.

So huge shout out to Madonna for turning underwear into mainstream fashion. Much appreciated. Cone bra Madonna is a hero.

Super Bowl Madonna

Madonna raked in a record number of viewers for her epic 2012 Super Bowl halftime show where she brought out Nicki Minaj, Cee Lo Green, LMFAO and M.I.A., who controversially flipped her off on stage. It’s a mixed bag of guest artists but the whole performance was a power move nonetheless.

Points for large-scale elaborateness.

Material Girl Madonna

The pink dress, the cash, the men, the diamonds. The whole song is pretty much a glorious homage to Marilyn Monroe’s performance of ‘Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend’ in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Madonna channeling the fellow blonde and beautiful legend is the meta glamour aesthetic dreams are made of. A Madonna I aspire to.

Austin Powers Madonna

Madonna singing ‘Beautiful Stranger’: a vibe. Madonna fondling Austin Powers: a vibe? Unsure.

Maybe though.

Explicit Coffee-Table Book Madonna

Making a splash is Madonna’s forte, like in 1992 when Madonna released her coffee-table book: Sex. It’s full of erotic and nude photos (including of herself) and it’s probably peak transgressive Madonna. Potentially. So much transgressive Madonna to choose from!

I reckon the book is the kind of sex-positive feminist content we can get on board with and I’m extremely into Madonna’s unapologetic ownership of her sexuality. A staple of her image.

Explicit Coffee-Table Book Madonna is a real contender.

Dating Tupac Madonna

Remember when Madonna and Tupac dated!!! That’s all.

Like a Virgin VMAs Madonna

There are few moments in Madonna’s career as iconic as her performance of ‘Like a Virgin’ at the first-ever MTV VMAs in 1984. Gyrating and writhing around suggestively in a wedding-dress-meets-promiscuous-girl aesthetic while moaning out lyrics about virginity really put Madonna and the award event on the map.

‘Like a Virgin’ inevitably hit #1 on the Hot 100 and her ‘Boy Toy’ belt and bride look will never be forgotten. 10/10 Madonna.

Says F*** A Lot To David Letterman Madonna

The year is 1994, March 31. Madonna appears on the Late Show With David Letterman and proceeds to say f*** 14 times. She also hands her underwear over and asks David Letterman to smell them.

It was the most-censored network talk-show appearance in history, and absolutely fantastic content. Likes To Say F*** Madonna is definitely a crowd favourite.

Mother Madonna

Madonna has six kids and is an absolutely boss, multi-faceted woman! Motherhood is the most powerful of all the human forms so we’re bowing down to Mother Madonna for sure. And mothers everywhere. (Love you Mum!!!).

Women’s March Madonna

Madonna fighting for women’s rights, using her platform champion feminism, condemning Donald Trump and refusing to be quiet – now that’s some raw, valuable action.

My personal favourite Madonna is definitely the feisty activist who says she’s thought a lot about blowing up the White House.

Tight With Britney Madonna

‘Me Against the Music’ is hands-down a fantastic song, and we saw a new side of Madonna as she played mentor to the younger female pop star, Britney Spears. Women helping other women while wearing sexy pant suit outfits and singing a banger of a song! Sign me up!

Also, lest we forget her infamous onstage kiss with Britney Spears at the VMAs 20 years after her breakthrough ‘Like a Prayer’ performance on that same stage.

No one scandalises an audience quite like Madonna, though let’s leave performative lesbian kisses in 2003.

Acting Madonna

Madonna also dabbled in acting throughout her career because she’s all talent and no rest. She particularly rocked it in Desperately Seeking Susan and A League of Their Own which both gifted us some absolutely inspirational 80’s Madonna fashion aesthetics.

What can’t Madonna do?

Heavenly Bodies Met Gala Madonna

There is nothing more perfect than Madonna giving a surprise performance at this year’s Heavenly Bodies Met Gala. Nothing.

Philanthropic Madonna

For her 60th birthday, Madonna has asked fans to do just one thing – support a Raising Malawi fund-raiser. Madonna has been dedicated to improving the lives of at-risk children in the African nation and co-founded the Raising Malawi non-profit.

Philanthropy guys, get around it.

Voguing Madonna

Madonna took Voguing from the New York underground ballroom scene of the 80’s and brought it onto the main stage of international fame with her #1 hit and video.

Who among us does not feel immediately perkier when they hear the familiar sound of Madonna chirping “Vogue, vogue. Let your body mooooove to the muuuusic. Hey, hey, hey”? No one.

Right Now Madonna

And the winner is…Right Now Madonna! A late intruder into the game! This is the most recent photo I could locate of the legend but I bet wherever she is right now she is fabulous. 

Right Now Madonna is all of these previous Madonna’s at once with all the acquired wisdom of her lifetime. So for today, the official winner is 60th birthday Madonna.

Wow. What a good and wholesome outcome to this scientific investigation.

You're About To Become Obsessed With The Internet's Favourite Sexy Cow Song And Its DIY Video

Doja Cat's 'Mooo!' is instantly iconic for every possible reason, from a legitimately great hook to meme-ready vision of a hot girl putting fries up her nose and twerking.

Never has a song and music video resonated with as many people as Doja Cat’s new sexy cow track and instant meme, ‘Mooo!’.

This is the kind of stand-out content that we will look back on fondly in 20 years and think, “Wow, that is the day my life changed for the better.”

The song itself is smoooooth as hell and full of countless great lyrical moments like, “I am not a cat, I don’t say meow”, “Moo moo moo moo moo”, and, of course, “Bitch I’m a cow.”

In the video the 22-year-old singer and rapper chows down on burgers, fries and milkshakes in a sexy cow outfit and sexy farmer outfit. She also puts fries up her nose and it’s iconic.

It’s an aesthetic you never knew you needed. But alas, you 100% do.

The viral clip is gloriously DIY, made with Mac’s Photo Booth greenscreen feature to superimpose Doja Cat over images of cows and giant bouncing cartoon boobs.

Why didn’t we think of that?

It is at once a masterpiece of meme culture and a socially progressive anthem protesting the oppressive diet and body expectations placed on women and society in general. My favourite sweet spot.

And it’s taking over your timeline.

I never thought I could feel so empowered by a song with the line ‘Got the methane, I’m a farter’, but here we are.

And you know what bitch, I am a cow.

Also, for the record: Doja Cat’s more than just the meme of the year.

Here’s what she can do with a slightly bigger video budget:


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