Sex education isn’t just for teenagers (and fans of the Netflix show). Even if you reckon you’ve got the basics down, when it comes to sex, your most crucial body part can always take a bit more.
That’s right, I’m talking about your brain.
Once you know which parts can go in and around other parts, there’s so much more to explore. We’re also getting way more comfortable, as a culture, with sex positivity: the idea that sex, whatever that word means for you, is (and should be) pleasurable and joyful and good for you rather than dirty or shameful.
One of the ways some women are expressing that is reclaiming being “slutty” as a powerful boast about loving sex, being unapologetically thirsty, and being in charge of your own sexual life – the same way straight men have always been able to brag about sleeping with women without any shame, but with a sly, feminine twist.
But because women’s sex lives haven’t been centred in pop culture as normal and mainstream and easy for as long as straight men’s have, there’s still a lot that a lot of people don’t know about female sexuality.
No, seriously: think about how recently hetero society collectively discovered the clitoris. Think about all the jokes that suddenly popped up in 90s sitcoms and straight dudes’ standup sets about multiple orgasms, and how you were taught about how men’s orgasms are the endpoint in sex ed and women’s were, like, a bonus.
We are years behind the fellas, people.
Here’s one example: when sex writer and host of VICELAND show Slutever Karley Sciortino went looking to pay a professional for a quickie orgasm, along the lines of the “happy ending” massage marketed to men, she found herself on an Indiana Jones-like quest for something she wasn’t even sure existed.
And she couldn’t help but wonder: why is it so easy for men to pay someone to get them off, and so tough for women?
Sciortino’s investigations aren’t neutral, observant peeks into weird sex-worlds – she’s super curious, genuinely passionate about getting off, and loves to get elbow deep in thinking, talking, and whatever other -ings she needs to take on in order to find answers to her questions.
In the first season of Slutever, as well as the “transactional pleasure” investigation, Sciortino explores eco-sexuality, kink tourism, cam girls and monster dildos with an openness, real-world experience and curiosity that’s less “Hey, look at these weirdos!” and more “Hey, you might be into this – hell, I might be into this”.
She brings the same energy to the second season, which is airing as double episodes on SBS Viceland on Tuesday nights. The first two episodes are about sugar babies – a kind of sex work Sciortino’s actually done herself – and polyamory.
“Being slutty is randomly complicated,” Sciortino thinks as she sits in front of a whiteboard covered in diagrams of different poly relationship structures.
And it is! It’s not just as simple as having more sex, more often, or with more people.
So if you’re going to do it, do it right – and fortunately, brushing up on how to do that is fun as hell.