Owning Sex Toys Is Great, Just Don’t Leave Them Out To Be Found, You Rookies

Common sense is a thing.

There is nothing shameful about sex. It’s a natural thing and, generally, a great thing. But there are certain unspoken rules and codes of conduct that apply when it comes to all things sex. 

Like, don’t have sex in public and don’t do anything without consent. 

Some things just come down to common sense. Or, at the very least, self-preservation. Like, don’t leave your sex toys out to be found. No one wants their mum to stumble on their dildo while she’s cleaning their bedroom. 

Or, their grandmother to mistake their fleshlights as thermal socks. Like this dude in Japan: 

I’m not kink shaming – you can kink all you want – but you shouldn’t be selfish about it. Poor grandma doesn’t need to see your kink and she certainly doesn’t need to corrupt her feet with it either. 

I can just imagine it: 

“Why are my slippers so…slippery?”

“Why are they…sticky?”

“Oh, there goes my circulation.”

Vom. Source: Giphy

Of course, once he realised what had happened, the Japanese man had to tell his grandma and get the ‘socks’ off her feet. As you can imagine, they were not easy to remove. 

I’m equal parts horrified and amused watching the above^. I’m also super satisfied. Not in a gross porny way, but in a “you got what’s coming to you, you idiot” kind of way. If you’re leaving your sex toys just laying around then you deserve to be caught. 

Hopefully this dude has learnt his lesson. 

And hopefully you’re all going to go and hide your sexy items in a place your grandma, mum, cleaner and dog will never find them. 

This Disgusting App Undresses Any Woman You Upload Because Consent Is Worth Less Than $50

Insert swear word here.

I can’t believe I’m about to write this but here goes: there’s an app available that removes clothing from the images of women to make them look realistically nude. 

Yes, seriously. It’s 2019 and people are deliberately creating and sharing technology that violates basic principles of privacy, ethics and, you know, respect. 

The app, called DeepNude, takes a photo of a clothed person and creates a new, naked image of the same person. It swaps t-shirts for naked breasts and pants for bare legs and a vulva. 

It only works on images of women. Because, apparently, women are the only gender that it’s okay to sexualise, objectify and violate. 

Users (who I’ve decided must be exclusively perverts and crazy people) only have to pay a small $50 fee to use the software. You can’t put a price on consent but this app has. 

It’s that simple. Source: Giphy

DeepNude also launched as a website that shows a sample of how the software works, allows you to try it online, and download a Windows and Linux application. 

The fact that the creator of this abomination not only developed one but multiple versions of this app is horrifying. The fact they thought of the idea in the first place is very problematic. But they don’t see it that way- to him it’s just a bit of “fun”. 

The anonymous creator of DeepNude, who requested to go by the name Alberto, told Motherboard that he was inspired to create DeepNude by retro ads for gadgets like X-Ray glasses which he saw a lot of during his childhood. 

The logo for DeepNude, a man wearing spiral glasses, is an homage to those ads.

“Like everyone, I was fascinated by the idea that they could really exist and this memory remained,” he told the publication. 

“About two years ago I discovered the potential of AI and started studying the basics…I realised that it would be possible to transform a dressed photo into a nude one. Eureka. I realised that x-ray glasses are possible! Driven by fun and enthusiasm for that discovery, I did my first tests, obtaining interesting results.”

Curiosity is innocent enough. In fact, curiosity should be celebrated. I understand and even praise Alberto’s desire to see if he can create some cool software. But sharing and monetising that software is where the problem arises.

There is nothing “fun” or even a little bit okay about tech which generates unsolicited nudes of women. Just the thought of it makes me want to scream. 

Alberto told Motherboard that he’s always asked himself whether the program should have ever been made: “Is this right? Can it hurt someone?” he asked.

His conclusion? 

“I also said to myself: the technology is ready (within everyone’s reach),” he said. “So if someone has bad intentions, having DeepNude doesn’t change much… If I don’t do it, someone else will do it in a year.”

I.e. I’m not developing anything new so it’s not bad. 


Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

Adding to a problem just further enables that problem- it inherently causes more harm. 

STOP. Source: Giphy

The most worrying part about DeepNude is the type of culture it encourages. It tells users it’s okay and easy to disarm and disempower women. It encourages the sharing of non-consensual porn, masochistic and sexual behaviour and ultimately reinforces predatory patterns of behaviour. 

But don’t worry ladies, there’s a men’s version coming soon. So we won’t be alone in having our sexual privacy violated. 

It's Your Own Fault If Your Nudes Get Leaked, Says Whoopi Goldberg

How about no?

Nudes are contentious topic. Some people send them, some people don’t and some people think sending unsolicited nudes is a great way to pickup chicks online (see: dick pics). It’s not. 

My point is that the decision to send nudey rudeys is exactly that- a decision. It’s completely reliant on individual discretion and comfort.

If you feel comfortable sending a cheeky pic to your partner, then you do you. I won’t judge you for it and the world shouldn’t either. 

Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in. People think they have a fundamental right to comment on the business of others especially when social media makes that business public. 

But there’s an unspoken hierarchy at play when publicly dealing with controversial topics. Some actions are better than others. For example, talking about someone else’s nude pictures isn’t as bad as viewing them which isn’t as bad as being the person to leak them in the first place. 

One thing that is never okay in any situation, however, is blaming the victim. Which is exactly what old mate Whoopi Goldberg just did. 

How I feel right now. Source: Giphy

Whoopi decided to weigh in on the whole Bella Thorne nude controversy and it is…something. 

“If you’re famous, I don’t care how old you are. You don’t take nude pictures of yourself,” Whoopi said while discussing Bella on The View. 

“Once you take that picture, it goes into the Cloud and it’s available to any hacker who wants it, and if you don’t know that in 2019 that this is an issue, I’m sorry. You don’t get to do that.”’

So…it’s Bella’s fault her nudes got released? It’s her fault some perverted selfish arsehole decided it was okay to compromise her privacy and threaten to share intimate photos without her consent? 

Hell. No. 

It is not Bella’s fault.

Before I go on, there’s something I need to acknowledge here: this isn’t the first time Bella Thorne has been swept up in nude photo drama. In September 2018 a bunch of racy photos were shared onto Bella’s Instagram, stirring speculation that her account had been hacked. 

At the time Bella was promoting her new movie Assassination Nation, a black comedy about toxic masculinity and transphobia. A major plot point involves hacking. So when racy photos started appear on her Instagram fans were confused: was it all part of movie promo? 

There’s been no clarification on this since, but in the wake of Bellas most recent nude scandal there’s been speculation thank it’s all a plot to promo her book. 

There’s no way to confirm if this is the case. And honestly, it doesn’t even matter. Publicity stunt or not it doesn’t negate the fact that Whoopi’s perspective is so very wrong. 

The victim should never be blamed. The age and celebrity status of a person does not make them more “deserving” of a hack. We are all human and all deserve respect. 

Whoopi (and everyone) needs to respect that. 

Bella has spoken out against Whoopi and she makes this point loud and clear. 

“Shame on you Whoopi. Shame on you for putting that public opinion out there like that for every young girl to think that they’re disgusting for even taking a photo like that. Shame on you,” she said. 

“Saying if you take a sexy photo then basically it deserves to be leaked like… don’t be surprised at all and don’t feel sorry for yourself. So if I go out to a party drinking and I want to go dancing on the dance floor… do I deserve to be raped too? ‘Cause, to me, I see those things really f**king similar, OK (sic)?”

Also how I feel right now. Source: Giphy

Bella uploaded a string of videos to her social media showing her crying as she dresses the issue. She also released a brief statement (swipe below to read it): 

Bella also suggested she would be cancelling an upcoming appearance on The View to protest Whoopi’s comments, writing: “I don’t really want to go on the View anymore cause I don’t really want to be beaten down by a bunch of older women for my body and my sexuality.”

“I don’t really want you guys talking about your views to young girls because I would not want my daughter to learn that and I would never say that to her.”

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