This List Of The Worst Possible Furbaby Names Is Downright Inspirational

It’s easy to worry about robots replacing us in a Terminator-style future, but thankfully neural networks are here to show that wow, computers are actually idiots. Without wanting to get technical, neural networks are systems built by wizards to make machines learn language through magic. And there are few things in the world more glorious than putting a bunch of inputs into one and then asking it to, say, come up with names for cats. And that’s what machine learning programmer Janelle Shane decided to do at her AI Weirdness blog. So if you’re looking for a name for your new bundle of thing, here are some terrible suggestions courtesy of a stupid and unfeeling machine. So pause for a moment and imagine calling these things out of a window while tapping a tin of cat food:

Dr Leg Chicken Whiskey Funky Moe Gregory Chimney Beep Boop Tom Noodle Peanutbutterjiggles Ringo Shuffles Whiskeridoo Scat Cat Butthole Gangrene Moisture Oilbag Buttwig Dr Fart Lillith The Vamp Elle Fury Deadbolt Romeo of Darkness Fist Warning Signs Kill All Humans Bones Of The Master Mr. Sinister Evil Whispers Stranglehold Sparky Buttons

There are even more at her site and goddamn, they are perfect for any pet – or for that matter, pregnancy – that you’re considering. And please, let GOAT be first to wish you congratulations upon the arrival of dear little Fist.