Every parent hopes that their kid will turn out to be the next Mozart-esque prodigy or something, even though the odds are ridiculously low. So in an attempt to shift odds in their favour, India is planning to create “highly intellectual” children through science using, uh *checks notes* cow piss and dung.
According to The Print, government body Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog (National Commission for Cows) is working with India’s Ministry of AYUSH to create a panchgavya (mixture used in Hindu rituals) drug using cow urine and faeces.
Apparently pregnant Indian women may be able produce “smart, highly intellectual and healthy children” if they took this bovine-based drug regularly. At least that’s what the commission claims anyway.
The commission’s chairman, Vallabhbhai Kathiria, vouches for the plan as he says shastras and Ayurveda texts back up this “cow urine equals child prodigy” idea and have sought the Indian AYUSH ministry’s help in mass-producing the drug, as well as plans to appoint vaidyas (practitioners of Ayurvedic medicine) in villages to prescribe this drug to pregnant women.
So you can put away that skepticism because it’s happening!
Is there scientific basis behind this idea of using cow piss and poop to make a drug that will result in pregnant Indian women giving birth to super smart kids who will make Mozart seem stupid? No, not really.
Is this whole plan less because of the medicinal qualities of bovine urine and faeces and more because of the abundance of the stuff in India and someone’s come up with a way to monetise it? Almost certainly.
But hey, Steve Rogers was given superhuman abilities thanks to some blue stuff in a test tube. Batman and Iron Man became superheroes thanks to fancy tech. If Marvel and DC can turn regular folks into something extraordinary, so can India’s National Commission for Cows and the tonnes of bovine waste they’ve been hoarding.