Bleats

"Kid Rock Divorced Pamela Anderson Because Of Borat" Is The Most 2006 Sentence Of All Time

Who'd have ever guessed that Kid Rock would be a thin-skinned sook?

If you’ve ever been tempted to take a journey back in time to a more innocent epoch, 2006 probably isn’t the year you’d pick. The MCU was but a Marvel fever dream, the Earth was roamed by Pussycat Dolls, and who’d want to go through losing Steve Irwin all over again?

But that’s where we’re going with the news that it was the year when love truly died, if love is best represented by the union of Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson. Which it is not.

You see, according to Sacha Baron Cohen, he and his alter ego Borat was instrumental in ending the couple’s five months of wedded bliss.

Pamela Anderson, the former Baywatch star then at the height of her pop-culture powers, had a cameo in the Borat film in which she was “kidnapped”.

Um… it was a different time.

Kid Rock, by all accounts, was furious about the film – presumably because he knew that everyone would bellow “my wife” at him. And who can blame him?

“Kid Rock saw the movie,” Cohen told the Last Laugh podcast, “and I texted Pamela Anderson and asked, ‘How did it go? What did he think?’” said Cohen. “And she texted back, ‘He’s getting divorced.’”

 

Genuinely preferable.

Of course, their differences would only escalate over the years as Kid became a hard-right supporter of Trump and Anderson because a vocal advocate for the freedom of Julian Assange.

So maybe that apparent love match was doomed regardless.

There's A New Sacha Baron Cohen Film And If He's Genuinely Punked Former US Vice President Dick Cheney He's Obviously A Dead Man

Get ready for Sacha Baron Cohen's new and presumably final undercover film!

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Sacha Baron Cohen – the man that gave the world such beloved characters as your mate’s drunken impersonation of Ali G, your mate’s drunken impersonation of Borat, and your mate’s drunken scene-stealing turn as Thénardier in Les Miserables. OK, probably not that last one.

And no doubt you’ve been asking why, oh universe, why. Fortunately Twitter has the answer you seek in the form of this teaser from SBC himself. Short answer: he’s been working on a secret film for the last little while and… look, watch for yourself.

Yes, that’s Iraq invasion architect Dick Cheney there, signing a waterboarding kit. Fun fact: there’s apparently such a thing as a waterboarding kit, just in case you assumed that people engaged in entirely illegal torture of prisoners were forced to improvise with whatever they had to hand.

Now, it’s worth pointing out that getting the former Vice President and, in a perfect world, convicted war criminal to sign an object of torture would have seemed shocking a few years ago but now seems adorably quaint since international governments, including our own, have decided to take a pick-n-mix approach to what once seemed like binding international agreements on human rights.

Again, this seems a whole lot less ridiculous now.

But in any case, Cohen is clearly going to wake up bound and gagged in a CIA black site any old tick of the clock.

Hell, Cheney shot a 78 year man in the face, and that guy was a Republican donor and personal friend. God only knows what he does to upstart foreigners that mock him in public. God, and also Amnesty International.

To that end… um, you’re still a total babe-magnet, Dick. Sorry for that war criminal remark.

#Trending

Show More Show Less

Follow Us