The Matrix is real, my friends, as long as you’re a cow who lives in Russia. Yep, dairy farmers have started strapping VR goggles to cows and showing them sunny, grassy fields to make them happier.
A press release has been put out by Moscow’s Ministry of Agriculture and Food – yes, this seems to be a legitimate Government program – detailing how they’ve been showing cows a “unique summer field simulation program”. They say that they’ve got studies showing that the environment a cow is in has a direct impact on the emotions of the cow, and therefore the milk.
It also turns out that the cows have been wearing the VR headsets for long enough that they’ve been able to do a before and after test on them. So far, the cows are actually less anxious and their mood has measurably increased, which to be fair mine probably would too if I got to look at lovely luscious fields all day.
There hasn’t been any impact on the milk yet, but the researchers are hoping that the happier cows will give more milk of better quality.
I’m all for making sure farm animals live happier lives, but do the cows ever get to take the goggles off? Is it showing them a nicer version of the same farm they’re living in, or is it a whole new landscape? Is this actually cheaper than just making a farm nicer for cows? I have so many questions.
Russia is notorious for using animals in their weird and wonderful plans, the most recent example was Hvaldimir the escaped Russian spy whale that loves football. Compared to that wild story, putting VR headsets on cows seems… almost more normal? Almost.
I’m not sure if there’s a cow equivalent of Neo who’s gone on a mission to take the red pill and get his VR goggles taken off of him, but we’re certainly a lot closer to that reality than I think any of us realised.