Unless you live under a rock (in which case, hello Patrick Star), you probably know that there are Royals in Sydney at the moment, namely Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle. You may have even heard that the couple is expecting their first child next year.
Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Sussex is expecting a baby in the Spring of 2019. pic.twitter.com/Ut9C0RagLk
— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) October 15, 2018
Naturally, the Australian Republic Movement is firing on all cylinders. A poll they conducted found that 52.4% of Australians want a republic, which technically means that just over half of the country wants to see Scott Morrison as President.
Though probably not if you framed the question that way.
25.2% of Australians polled weren’t sure of the need for change, while 22.4% were against the prospect of becoming a republic. A referendum held almost twenty years ago on the issue of becoming a republic failed by roughly 9%.
I also support Australia becoming a republic, but considering our options for heads of state are currently Scott Morrison or an old lady who mostly minds her own business and looks much better in hats, it’s hard to feel enthusiastic about the prospect of change. Especially when Harry and Meghan are strolling around Sydney charming the pants off everyone.
Harry and Meghan have been give a kangaroo and its Joey. Our first baby gift! Exclaims Meghan. pic.twitter.com/Lxvc3QQYCh
— Rebecca English (@RE_DailyMail) October 15, 2018
While Harry and Meghan are announcing pregnancies, meeting koalas and greeting fans at the Opera House, our elected representatives are ‘accidentally’ voting in favour of ridiculous motions from Pauline Hanson on whether or not it’s okay to be white and blaming their votes on administrative errors. Frankly, based on today’s events alone, I’d prefer King Harry and Queen Meghan to President Scott.
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry play with koalas on first day of Australia tour after pregnancy announcement. https://t.co/HCLTbSuG4T pic.twitter.com/nGPAx7j4U1
— ABC News (@ABC) October 16, 2018
I’m also slightly nervous about giving Scott Morrison and his cabinet any more power than they already have. If we were to become a republic, most of the changes would largely just be symbolic, but even then, a title change could go to Morrison’s head, and he really doesn’t need any further ego inflation.
Also, what will happen to the money? Whose profile will be on the back of all our coins if we become a republic? We change Prime Ministers too often to put one of them on there – coins need longevity. Maybe we could chuck a smiling quokka on there and call it a day?
Actually, maybe we could just install a quokka as president. There’s no way anybody could say no to that, right?