We have a name for the new royal baby, folks.
From henceforth, the little bub shall be known as… Archie.
To be more specific, his full name is Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, which feels like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle decided to have a competition to make the most unregal name ever concocted in British Royal Family history.
Naming aside, the one thing everyone can agree on is that the new baby is simply adorable.
The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh were introduced to the newborn son of The Duke & Duchess of Sussex at Windsor Castle. Ms Doria Ragland was also present. The Duke & Duchess of Sussex are delighted to announce that they have named their son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. pic.twitter.com/PaHVhPlUl5
— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) May 8, 2019
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle just announced their royal baby boy's name https://t.co/4aPAYkyCOS pic.twitter.com/Cm7A33CVdI
— TIME (@TIME) May 8, 2019
While the world rejoices over Archie entering this green(ish) world, the reveal of the baby’s name has sent Riverdale fans into a meme-filled tailspin because, you know, the bub’s name is the same the show’s main character and that MUST mean something.
To be honest, a lot of the resulting conspiracies and jokes are pretty dumb (not unlike the show actually) but holy hell are they hilariously fun.
Things started with some simple “oh hey, it’s Archie” jokes, including a very meta tweet from the official Archie Comics Twitter account.
i'm baby
— Archie Comics (@ArchieComics) May 8, 2019
Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, First of His Name, Earl of Riverdale. pic.twitter.com/JgqlBE3p4k
— Carlos (@sweetbread55) May 8, 2019
Things quickly escalated as the baby’s name quickly prompted speculation that Harry and Meghan are secret Riverdale fans and named their son purely out of their love for the show.
Do you think they named him Archie because they love @CW_Riverdale !!? I do!
— Little Known Facts With Ilana Levine (@ilanalevine) May 8, 2019
Best. Crossover. Ever. #Riverdale goes ROYAL. Congrats to the Meghan and Harry #archie! ❤️ ?? ? ❤️ pic.twitter.com/sNoQInhMNg
— RobertoAguirreSacasa (@WriterRAS) May 8, 2019
Fits right in #Riverdale #babysussex pic.twitter.com/4HZ835kF31
— JanksMarc (@janksmarc) May 8, 2019
Others took issue with the choice of name as some think Jughead is clearly the better option (and character) and Archie is the absolute worst thing on Riverdale.
Someone’s a Riverdale fan. But why pick Archie over Jughead?? I think Jughead Mountbatten-Windsor would have been delightful! https://t.co/2lEZLnhVuS
— ForestWitch ?❄️? (@SportsKitten) May 8, 2019
Archie may be royalty but Jughead wears the crown pic.twitter.com/RJ7mKWzie7
— T M (@reshmanuel) May 8, 2019
they named their child after the worst riverdale character wow https://t.co/txFoOA1CRw
— yana || ia (@haseuIsbitch) May 8, 2019
With the line between reality and fiction being blurred, some began to jokingly speculate over how Archie’s birth will inspire future seasons of Riverdale, which won’t be the craziest thing to happen on the show.
Riverdale, Season Four: Archie finds out he’s a royal and is next in line for the throne, but also his lemonade stand has REALLY taken off and he isn’t sure he can so easily give it up. Betty and Veronica start a detective agency. Jughead discovers his typewriter controls reality pic.twitter.com/1D6fLCqkta
— Chris Knetzer (@KnetzerTheGreat) May 8, 2019
Others have already started looking forward to more royal babies in the future because it means more Riverdale naming opportunities. My sympathies to Archie’s hypothetical future siblings.
I'm okay with them naming the baby Archie, but only as long as they promise to name the next one His Royal Highness Forsythe Pendleton "Jughead" Jones.
— Will Donnelly (@Will_Donnelly) May 8, 2019
If Prince Harry and Meg have any more children they better keep the whole @ArchieComics theme going…Princess Veronica, Princess Betty, and Prince Jughead pic.twitter.com/LLvJUTFrYo
— Dan Maz (@MazOfRadio) May 8, 2019
But out of all the jokes and conspiracies, our absolute favourite is this fantastic gem about how Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor will turn out when he grows up.
I'm going to laugh and laugh if Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor has red hair and freckles.
— ❄Mikki Kendall❄ (@Karnythia) May 8, 2019
and dates a girl called Betty or veronica
— Pfunk, the shenanigator (@Gluonsrule) May 8, 2019
If the new Royal baby actually has red hair I will never ask the gods for anything again. #ArchieHarrisonMountbattenWindsor #RoyalBaby #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/dF9UcY6tih
— Chocolate Duchess (@ChocolDuchess) May 8, 2019
Hmmm, Prince Harry has red hair and freckles while Meghan also has freckles. You know what, little Archie growing up with red hair and freckles, and dating a girl named Betty or Veronica isn’t actually as farfetched as one might think.
Having said that, I shudder if that last thing happens because the internet will almost certainly collapse upon itself due to the sheer weight of the metaness that’s going on.