Upcycling Is Cool But Crocheted Tampons Are A Big Fat No

I try to be as environmentally friendly as I can. I have a reusable cup, portable fork, and metal water bottle on me at all times, but I draw the line at crocheted tampons.

Yes, you read that right. People are crocheting tampons in order to create less waste from their period. It’s a noble intention, but the thought of stuffing abrasive wool in an area it definitely doesn’t belong is making me shudder. 

If you’ve ever locked yourself in the bathroom with a box of tampons and stared at the little instruction manual they come with, then you’ve probably heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome. It’s all over that little manual, and if you weren’t cursing your uterus for existing before reading about it, you sure as hell will be afterwards.

Toxic Shock Syndrome is nasty. It’s caused by toxins being produced by bacteria in the body, and can give you seizures, result in limbs being amputated, or in bad cases can even kill you. It’s been linked with super absorbent tampons, and store-bought tampons have to adhere to strict regulations on absorbency because of it.

You know what doesn’t have to adhere to strict regulations on absorbency? Crocheted tampons. 

And then there’s the small matter of keeping the tampons clean enough for the bacteria not to get into your body in the first place. Think about how many tiny crevices there are in the fibres of wool, and how every single one of them is a place for bacteria to hide. 

Unless you’re boiling or bleaching your crocheted tampons, there’s no way in hell you’re killing everything on there. If you are boiling or bleaching your crocheted tampons, why are you putting it back into your vagina? Boiled wool sheds, and bleached wool is, well, bleached.

Ignore what Gwyneth Paltrow is saying and leave your poor vagina alone.

I’m totally here for diva cups and even reusable pads, but crocheted tampons are a straight up health risk. Love the environment in other ways, give this one a miss.

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