Just over a month ago, singer Duffy took to Instagram to detail why she has disappeared from the spotlight. After the worldwide success of her 2007 and 2008 singles “Mercy” and “Rockferry”, Duffy racked up three BRIT Awards and a Grammy Award before virtually disappearing in 2010.
In a now-removed Instagram post, she said, “Many of you wonder what happened to me, where did I disappear to and why… The truth is, and please trust me I am OK and safe now, I was raped and drugged and held captive over some days. Of course I survived. The recovery took time. There’s no light way to say it.”
Since then, she has written an eight-page document, describing everything that happened to her, in detail, in the hopes “that (her) words serve as a momentary distraction or maybe even some comfort that one can come out of darkness.”
Her statement is the first time she has given details of the terrifying experience. The ordeal went for four weeks and she does not name her attacker in the statement.
She opens up about the kidnapping incident, “It was my birthday, I was drugged at a restaurant, I was drugged then for four weeks and travelled to a foreign country. I can’t remember getting on the plane and came round in the back of a travelling vehicle. I was put into a hotel room and the perpetrator returned and raped me. I remember the pain and trying to stay conscious in the room after it happened.”
She discussed her inability to run away for fear of being “disposed of” as “he made veiled confessions of wanting to kill” her, she continued. “I contemplated running away to the neighbouring city or town, as he slept, but had no cash and I was afraid he would call the police on me, for running away, and maybe they would track me down as a missing person.”
Then, she discussed her escape, saying “With what little strength I had, my instinct was to then run, to run and find somewhere to live that he could not find.”
After escaping the predator, Duffy explains that she felt suicidal, saying “I was high risk of suicide in the aftermath.” She continued, “I would not see someone, a physical soul, for sometimes weeks and weeks and weeks at a time, remaining alone. I would take off my pyjamas and throw them in the fire and put on another set. My hair would get so knotted from not brushing it, as I grieved, I cut it all off.”
Duffy even considered changing her name and appearance so she could disappear altogether. “Rape is like living murder, you are alive, but dead. All I can say is it took an extremely long time, sometimes feeling never ending, to reclaim the shattered pieces of me.
Duffy concludes her statement discussing why she’s opening up about all of this, she said, “I am sharing this because we are living in a hurting world and I am no longer ashamed that something deeply hurt me, anymore. I believe that if you speak from the heart within you, the heart within others will answer. As dark as my story is, I do speak from my heart, for my life, and for the life of others, whom have suffered the same. I had to set myself free.”
“I ask myself now, as I write this … what makes me feel more beautiful, more hopeful and more at peace? So, if I do indeed press SEND and put this online, I hope it brings me the smile in my eyes, the light in my life, that has been absent for just so long.”
“I can now leave this decade behind. Where the past belongs. Hopefully no more “what happened to Duffy questions”, now you know … and I am free.” You can read Duffy’s full statement here.
If you, or anyone you know is a victim of sexual assault, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 1800 RESPECT for support services.
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