Like many internet gays, I have fallen fully and irrevocably in love with Claire Saffitz from the Bon Appétit test kitchen. I also have a giant crush on Alex Delany – the Drinks Editor at Bon Appétit – but I fear I’ll need more time to process those feelings before sending them further than relentless DMs to my friends.
It is a side effect of my personality that if I have a crush on you, I will demand to know your birth chart. I’d probably put that down to my own placements – specifically my Venus in Capricorn – that forces me to be quite calculated when it comes to expressing my affection, so I lean on charts and shit to validate my feelings. That’s a whole thing, and definitely a me problem, but it’s why we’re here.
I have taken it upon myself to confidently guess Claire Saffitz’s birth chart, as I couldn’t find it anywhere and I feel it’s my personal duty to provide that to the fellow BA tragics. (This is probably the time to disclose that I am not an astrologer and I do not know what I am doing, for the most part.)
Before I get into my educated guessing, I’d like to disclose some astro- relevant info that we already have about Claire Saffitz that can help us start painting a picture of the queen of test kitchen.
Famous Birthdays tells us that Claire was born on September 16th in 1986 – meaning that her sun sign is Virgo. Your sign sign is determined by the day you’re born. Personally, I am enthralled by Virgos because they are so delightfully intelligent and really make you work for their trust. Virgos are also known for being responsible and liking things ‘just so’.
Evidence of Claire’s Virgo sun jumped out and smacked me in the face in the Girl Scout Cookies episode of Gourmet Makes when she spent a good chunk of the video cleaning someone else’s microwave mess, and proceeded to show everyone her efforts in the post-end-card scene.
We are also aware that Claire was born in St. Louis, Missouri which gives us a fairly accurate idea of her moon sign. The moon sign rules your emotions, and is determined by the place of birth, but moves through the zodiac approximately every two days. On the day Claire was born in St. Louis, the moon was in Pisces.
Those with a Pisces moon tend to feel a lot of empathy and as a result, fall into a melancholic state, without warning. Pisces moons are also known to be quite evasive when there’s something at hand that they don’t want to do. For Claire, this is unbearably evident whenever she’s asked to temper chocolate in a recipe – she loathes it with her entire being and always enlists the help of someone else to get it done.
Armed with a Virgo Sun and a Pisces Moon, we are two-thirds of the way to Claire’s ‘Big Three’ – but without her birth time, it’s just you and me against the the universe. We’re on our own in the mission to guess Claire Saffitz’s ascendant sign as accurately as we possibly can, or should the stans (and Astro Twitter) be so merciful as to crucify the shit out of me.
The Ascendant, or ‘rising sign’ is considered to be the first impression that you give people before they get to know you. After careful analysis of Claire in Bon Appétit videos; namely ‘Gourmet Makes’ and ‘Making Perfect’ series, I have concluded that Claire’s ascendant is Capricorn.
I have it on good authority (Google) that the first two Queen Elizabeths, Naomi Campbell and Jane Fonda all have a Capricorn Ascendant, so she’s in good company here.
A Capricorn rising is well into dry humour and deadpan delivery – which Claire is very, very good at. This placement is really unique against the other signs because it’s focussed on independence and doesn’t stress about involving others in their story from the jump. Capricorn is an earth sign, which translates to being grounded, organised, driven and confident.
As for the rest of Claire’s chart, you can find a version below. It’s like, fairly accurate but without her birth time, we won’t have every planet in it’s exact place, so take it with a grain of salt.
I’m desperately sorry if you’ve made it this far down the article and you have no clue what the hell this is or why it exists but I’m so very glad I got to share this thought I had and I hope you’re having an absolutely great day.
