Fair warning: this post does not contain graphic images of politicians decked out in Spanx, so bear with me.
Spanx, or shaping underwear generally, is a modern day textile miracle designed to smooth out the surface so garments glide over with ease.
Basically it instantly makes you look skinnier. It’s a boost to your confidence; it pumps up your tyres, if you will.
But all that unwanted flab doesn’t just disappear, it has to go somewhere. And that somewhere is wherever the shapewear ends, usually your boobs or your knees, take your pick.
(Also makes it tricky to pee, but anyway…)
Spanx also explains how governments hide a multitude of sins. Like policies that look good on the surface but are just a mess underneath.
By forcing venues in the restricted zone to bar entry from new patrons after 1am, it just sent those patrons and their potentially troublesome behaviour to other venues in neighbouring suburbs outside the restricted area.
It hasn’t addressed society’s many problems with alcohol or violence at all. It’s just squeezed the excess belly bulge into the state’s boobs and made a tit of us all.
On a larger scale, the endless “turn back the boats” campaigning. Yeah, you turned the boats around, but now we’ve got men, women and children sitting in off-shore processing centres for years.
And there are millions of displaced people around the world, yet we’re still not addressing why they’re fleeing their homelands.
Not such a pretty picture, is it?
So next time a government policy seems too good to be true, ask yourself: what’s being squeezed where in order to create this illusion of perfection?