If You Know How Spanx Works, You’ll Understand Why Government Policy Flops

Both appear firm on the surface.

Fair warning: this post does not contain graphic images of politicians decked out in Spanx, so bear with me.

Spanx, or shaping underwear generally, is a modern day textile miracle designed to smooth out the surface so garments glide over with ease.

Basically it instantly makes you look skinnier. It’s a boost to your confidence; it pumps up your tyres, if you will.

But all that unwanted flab doesn’t just disappear, it has to go somewhere. And that somewhere is wherever the shapewear ends, usually your boobs or your knees, take your pick.

(Also makes it tricky to pee, but anyway…)

Spanx also explains how governments hide a multitude of sins. Like policies that look good on the surface but are just a mess underneath.

Take, for example, the NSW Government’s lockout laws, supposedly introduced to tackle alcohol-related violence.

By forcing venues in the restricted zone to bar entry from new patrons after 1am, it just sent those patrons and their potentially troublesome behaviour to other venues in neighbouring suburbs outside the restricted area.

It hasn’t addressed society’s many problems with alcohol or violence at all. It’s just squeezed the excess belly bulge into the state’s boobs and made a tit of us all.

On a larger scale, the endless “turn back the boats” campaigning. Yeah, you turned the boats around, but now we’ve got men, women and children sitting in off-shore processing centres for years.

And there are millions of displaced people around the world, yet we’re still not addressing why they’re fleeing their homelands.

Not such a pretty picture, is it?

So next time a government policy seems too good to be true, ask yourself: what’s being squeezed where in order to create this illusion of perfection?

Bob Hawke, Australia's 23rd Prime Minister, Has Died Aged 89

A "giant of Australian politics" and Labor's "greatest son".

Former Prime Minister Bob Hawke has died in his Sydney home, aged 89.

The Labor legend led the country from 1983 to 1991, making him the party’s longest-serving Prime Minister.

“Today we lost Bob Hawke, a great Australian – many would say the greatest Australian of the post-war era,” his wife Blanche d’Alpuget said in a statement.

“Bob was dearly loved by his family, and so many friends and colleagues. We will miss him.

“The golden bowl is broken.”

Bob Hawke’s larrikin personality won hearts – and four federal elections – none more so than when he declared “any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum” after Australia won the America’s Cup.


Hawke had been battling illness in recent months. His family said he died peacefully at home and a private funeral and a public memorial service will held.

“Bob Hawke and Paul Keating and their governments modernised the Australian economy, paving the way for an unprecedented period of recession-free economic growth and job creation,” Blanche d’Alpuget’s statement said.

“Bob’s consensus-style approach of bringing together the trade union movement and the business community boosted job opportunities while increasing the social wage through Medicare and extra financial support for low-income families.

“Together with his highly talented cabinets, he foresaw the Asian Century and positioned Australia to take full advantage of it through a program of sweeping economic reforms.

“Among his proudest achievements were large increases in the proportion of children finishing high school, his role in ending apartheid in South Africa, and his successful international campaign to protect Antarctica from mining.

“He abhorred racism and bigotry. His father, the Reverend Clem Hawke, told Bob that if you believed in the Fatherhood of God then you must also believe in the Brotherhood of Man. Bob would add today the Sisterhood of Women.”

Julia Banks Calls Out The Liberal Party Men And Their Stay-At-Home Wives, Sounds Like A Destiny's Child Song

INDEPENDENT WOMEN. Sing it, sister.

Julia Banks has well and truly pulled the pin and hurled the grenade at the Liberal Party bros.

The Independent Member for Chisholm, who quit the Liberal Party in November over the treatment of women, has attacked her former colleagues, and their stay-at-home wives, for the culture they’ve “entrenched”.

“Most of the men in the Liberal Party, their wives don’t work. They’re at home with the kids. Now I don’t have an issue with stay-at-home mums but I do in the sense that I believe all women should be, if not at some period in their life, they should ensure their financial independence…and not to be dependent on anyone,” Banks told The Australians Women’s Weekly.

No doubt her call to arms would sit well with Beyonce, Kelly, Michelle and all the Independent Women Destiny’s Child fired-up. I pay my own damn bills, and yeah, it should always be fifty-fifty in relationships.

Now even Banks admits that as a woman it’s not easy to hold down a job and raise a family. She had two children while working as a corporate lawyer.

“When I had Sam I was the first female senior manager in Kraft to have a baby and I remember the CEO said, ‘we’re so proud of you!’. Then the HR manager, who was junior to me, came into my office and he said, ‘now, you’re going on maternity leave so we’re going to cancel your health insurance’,” she told The Weekly.

“I said, ‘wait a minute, cancel my health insurance?’ He said ‘Yes, you’re having a baby, you’re not sick so you won’t be entitled.’ I was appalled, that was part of my package and to cut a long story short, I went into the CEO and he said, that’s just ridiculous and they stopped it.”


Banks is a vocal supporter of gender quotas.

“It’s really simple: If you only have a man running, and you can’t find a woman, find one. They’re out there. They represent half the population, and so should a modern Liberal Party,” she declared in Parliament in September.

But when she quit the party two months later, this is how the men reacted. LOOK AT THEM RUN.

“[MP and Dutton supporter] Craig Kelly said, ‘she needs to roll with the punches’. [Senator] Helen Kroger said, ‘Hm, perhaps politics isn’t for her’. So it was all like ‘she’s a weakie’,” Banks told The Weekly.

“I’ve seen it in the business world, where the woman is either a liar or she made it up or she’s doing it for publicity or notoriety. She’s emotional or she’s over-emotional.”

Banks – a big believer in “active feminism” – points to Former Liberal Prime Minister John Howard, and his all too recent declaration that we will never achieve 50-50 representation in politics because women focus on their caring responsibilities, as a view that’s “quite entrenched” even now.

“Men have had it all at the same time for years and years, and I think women can, too, but women tend to bear the emotional overload and the planning more.”

While Banks is yet to declare if she will stand again at the next federal election, one thing is certain: she truely is an Independent woman. Beyonce can take a seat, for now.

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