We all know about Farfetch’d, right? The wild bird from the old-school Pokemon games that carries a leek around and is apparently delicious when served with an orange sauce? Well Nintendo is giving him a new evolved form called Sirfetch’d and he’s looking swole, folks.
Armed with a sleek leek lance, a shield, a new gym routine and a smug look that’ll make your knees quiver, Sirfetch’d looks buff as hell and ready to steal your partner after beating you in one-on-one combat.
After 20 or so years, Farfetch’d finally gets the glo-up/evolution he deserves.
According to Nintendo’s official Pokemon website, Farfetch’d from the Galar region will evolve into the “incredibly noble” Sirfetch’d after experiencing many battles and are “often chosen as a motif for paintings.” Perfectly understandable. Just look at those god damn eyebrows.
However, there’s one big problem with Sirfetch’d and it has nothing to do with its name, design or any of those things. The big issue has to do with how this leek-wielding wild duck makes no logical or physical sense.
Just take a look at its physical stats:
It stands at just 80cm tall and yet it weighs… 117 kilograms?
Well folks, we have a new definition for the words “dense” and “unit.” It’s one thing to bulk up but this is just ridiculous since ducks don’t weigh any more than a couple of kgs.
Even if we factor in the weight of the leek-lance and leaf shield, which can’t weigh more than a few kgs for a duck that stands less than one metre tall, the laws of physics would have to be broken for a wild duck to weigh the exact same as a human bodybuilder.
One thing’s for sure, people aren’t going to be feasting on Sirfetch’d like they did Farfetch’d because it’ll kick your arse if you tried to cook it, not to mention how tough the meat is going to be.
But hey, I’m definitely reading into this way too much. Trying to bring the laws of physics into a discussion about a wild duck rocking eyebrows that’ll make Cara Delevingne envious while fighting with a leek lance is like trying to mix water with oil, it just doesn’t work.
As for when and where you can get the ridiculously swole Sirfetch’d, he’s a Pokemon Sword exclusive so let that make up your mind on the “should I get Sword or Shield or both” debate when the games come out on November 15.