Bleats

Pete Davidson’s Self-Deprecating Jokes About His Break-Up With Ariana Grande Are Actually Pretty Heartbreaking

Just keep breathin’ and breathin’ and breathin’.

After Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson called off their whirlwind engagement last week, the world has been watching closely to see or hear anything from either of the pair directly addressing the break-up.

Now Pete Davidson is the first to break the silence in his first stage appearance since the news broke. Davidson was co-hosting a comedy show on Saturday night, Judd & Pete for America – a show with Judd Apatow to benefit the Swing Left voting campaign.

Davidson took the on stage opportunity to be quite cavalier about his recent break-up, or at least seemingly cavalier. The self-deprecating jokes he filled out his set with are actually pretty heartbreaking.

“Well, as you could tell, I don’t want to be here. There’s a lot going on,” Davidson told the crowd. “Does anybody have any open rooms? Looking for a roommate?”

 

It’s no secret that the pair were early enthusiasts for tribute tattoos to their relationship, and now they’re left with those permanent reminders of love had and love lost.

“Um, I’ve been covering a bunch of tattoos, that’s fun,” Davidson told the crowd. “I’m f–king 0 for 2 in the tattoo [department]. Yeah, I’m afraid to get my mom tattooed on me, that’s how bad it is.”

His jokes about the break-up and how stupid he was to rush into the relationship are funny, but at his own expense. Bleak humour is definitely one way to cope with the situation, but the jokes are very bittersweet.

“So, obviously you know I, we [Ariana and I] broke up or whatever but when me and her first got engaged we got tattoos,” he later continued. “And it was like in a magazine like, ‘Was Pete Davidson stupid?’ And 93% of it said yes,” Davidson told the audience.

“So my boy, he was like, ‘Don’t listen to that s–t man. They’re literally f**king haters.’ And I’m like, yeah, f**k that. I’m not stupid. And the other day we were in my kitchen and he was like, ‘Yo bro. Turns out you were stupid.’”

He really took black humour to the extreme end of the spectrum in the set.

“I feel like I am America,” Davidson said. “I’m a good guy that just keeps getting kicked in the dick. You’re like, ‘Ah, that f**king poor kid. Hope he doesn’t kill himself.’ That’s America.”

A lot of comedians use their material to work through rough things in their life, so while Pete Davidson is joking about the break-up, it sounds like it’s hit him hard.

Ariana Grande Slays My Heart Will Go On In Her Best Celine Dion Voice While Reenacting Titanic With James Corden And Now I'm Emotional

We need a musical remake of Titanic starring Ariana Grande and we need it now.

ICYMI, Ariana Grande is the queen of impressions, it is her official title. She’s got some serious chameleon vocal skills that never cease to amaze.

Exhibit A:

Well Ariana has truly outdone herself with this magnificent rendition of Titanic‘s iconic ballad ‘My Heart Will Go On’, performed in her Celine Dion voice. And her Celine Dion voice is perfect.

The song concluded an epic five minute ultra-modern reenactment of the entire three-hour 1997 film that Ariana and James Corden put together on The Late Late Show.

WARNING: This performance will make you emotional.

The rest of Titanic was pieced together with a medley of classic pop songs, like Lady Gaga’s ‘Just Dance’ for Rose’s cheeky boogie with the ship crew.

Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ for when Jack paints her like one of his French girls.

The spotting of the fatal iceberg is given a fairly perky make-over with ‘Ice Ice Baby’ by Vanilla Ice. Here for it honestly because Titanic can feel a little grim at times.

Kesha’s ‘Timber’ is another great song choice to signal that the ship is in fact sinking.

Unfortunately you can’t watch the whole video in Australia, (and you definitely should not use a VPN to do so absolutely not no never).

But at least we have Ariana’s perfect rendition ‘My Heart Will Go On’ so that Aussie’s can feel like we’re part of the fun.

Ariana Grande Joins The Ranks Of Janelle Monáe And Conquers Big Dick Energy With Powerful Vagina Energy In Her God Is A Woman Video

While the excitement over BDE swagger lasted a hot minute, the assertion of women’s power has a whole lot more warmth and depth.

From the title to the lyrics to the sensational music video, Ariana Grande’s new track ‘God is a Woman’ is bursting at the seams with what we are going to call: Powerful Vagina Energy.

Less than a month ago, we were all engulfed by a short-lived fascination with Big Dick Energy, of which Ariana Grande’s fiancé Pete Davidson was the face. We were enamoured – we divided the population by who has it and who doesn’t, ranked every person and inanimate object group by amount of BDE – then 24 hours later we were done with it.

But Powerful Vagina Energy is a force much mightier than BDE and it’s only getting stronger.

In basic terms, having PVE is owning your confidence, warmth, depth, vulnerability and strength in the face of a system that tells you not to.

While there’s nothing subversive about the phallic imagery of Big Dick Energy – Pussy Power, Big Vagina Energy, Cavernous Pussy Energy, Powerful Vagina Energy, or whatever you want to call it, is inherently progressive.

It is not a female equivalent of Big Dick Energy, but a superior power that has the range and resilience that BDE does not. Which is why representations of Powerful Vagina Energy are so much more than just a gimmick.

Between the explicit imagery of vaginas, women’s sexual pleasure and notably non-masculine power, the feminism of Ariana Grande’s ‘God is a Woman’ video is something we feel deeply, and it’s something that is glorious to see on this kind of platform.

The video features a union of religious and feminist imagery to assert the godly power of women and our communities. Ariana is repeatedly featured in the centre of a glorified vulva, and in a particularly explicit scene, she straddles the earth and recreates both masturbation and sexually pleasuring another woman by erotically stroking and fingering the clouds of a hurricane.

It’s epic.

Another glorious interlude in the video features mole rats popping out of their holes and screeching – the perfect representation of man-babies responding to anything with a vaguely feminist sentiment.

From literally smashing through a glass ceiling to reimagining Michelangelo’s iconic Creation Of Adam with herself as God and a black woman as Adam, Ariana Grande’s ‘God is a Woman’ exudes Powerful Vagina Energy.  

Of course Ariana didn’t invent Powerful Vagina Energy – it has been channeled by many artists before her, and most recently championed by Janelle Monáe in her explicit music video for ‘Pynk’.

In April this year Monáe shook up the music industry with her song and music video ‘Pynk’ – a bold and visual ode to vaginas, queerness and female pleasure.

Monáe described it as a “celebration of creation, self love, sexuality and pussy power,” explaining that pink unites humanity because it is “found in the deepest and darkest nooks and crannies of humans everywhere.”

Her music video features all women of colour (including actress Tessa Thompson), some iconic vagina-pants, accentuated pubic hair, feminist messages and a whole lot of Powerful Vagina Energy.

As a black, queer, woman, Janelle Monáe’s unapologetic subversion of the standard is especially significant.

While the direct association of the vagina with femininity is a cisgender-centric frame, the vagina itself is an unarguably powerful symbol. It is where all life begins, and it represents something astutely outside the realm of cisgender men.

So it makes absolute sense that vagina imagery is incited to represent a revolutionary power.

While women like Janelle Monáe and Ariana Grande are classically feminine examples who are championing especially heavy-handed representations of Powerful Vagina Energy, you don’t have to fit into that mould to have PVE.

Terry Crews and Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness are examples of men who have the warmth, depth and strength of PVE, and they’re the kind of male role models the world needs.

While BDE tried to assert itself as a confidence that is opposite to toxic masculinity, by virtue of its shallowly masculine descriptor alone it falls short.

The true opposite of toxic masculinity is the feminist empowerment of Powerful Vagina Energy, and it’s a damn beautiful thing to see.  

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