Bleats

Pete Davidson Understands Blocking Your Ex Is The Ultimate In Post-Breakup Self-Care, And You Should Too

I'm so freakin' grateful for my Block button.

The sad saga of Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, the couple who briefly gave us all hope and then gave us only disappointment and bangers, drags on, with the news that he’s blocked her for the sake of his health.

Davidson shared a note on his Instagram earlier this week, talking about how he’s been bullied and trolled online this year, and the resilience he’s needed to push through the resulting hits to his already-difficult mental health.

Pete’s note.

His relationship with one of the most famous women in the world raised his profile, and the sad death of her most recent ex, Mac Miller, at the peak of the world’s fascination with their engagement fired up the trolls who blamed both him and her for Miller’s overdose.

And with her latest #1 single ‘thank u, next‘, not only mentioning him by name, but also featuring him in the blockbuster clip‘s Mean Girls homage and confirming it was she who broke off their engagement, it’s no wonder he’s had to smash that block button.

She asked fans to be kind online, insisting in an Instagram story that she “will always have irrevocable love for him and if you’ve gotten any other impression from my recent work you may have missed the point”.

But no matter how kind fans are, he clearly doesn’t want to hear from her either, and he definitely doesn’t need to see a zillion headlines about how she covered up her tattoo of his dead 9/11 hero dad’s NYFD badge number with one of the name of Miller’s dog.

But your relationship doesn’t have to have been the pop culture obsession of half the world for your ex to haunt your online life.

It takes a while for your various social media algorithms to figure out that they aren’t one of the most important people in your life any more – even longer if you’re lurking on them 24/7, trying to figure out if they’re having a better time than you or moving on.

You can be ambushed at any time, by pictures of them doing something you used to do together, maybe even with someone new; by a nice selfie where they look happy; by their Insta story when you’re on infinite watch mode, or those diabolical Facebook Memories.

Facebook does have features now where you can “take a break” from someone without unfriending them, restrict what they see, and make various other tweaks to how they orbit in and out of your feed.

And if a straight-up, cold-blooded post-split Unfriend is something that feels right, go for it – especially if you enjoy the thought of however they’ll react when they twig.

But a block is easy, and feels a bit less permanent and intrusive. You never need to overthink a good old-fashioned blocking, and you never need to feel guilty about it.

Even if you’re on good terms, even if you’re not those exes who can’t be in the same room and require WWII-level strategy to both attend a mutual friend’s birthday drinks, do anything you can do minimise accidental exposure to their post-you lives and activities, at least for a while.

After all, there’s a whole internet out there where your ex isn’t the biggest story of any given day. If Pete can get through, so can you.

Ariana Grande Is Really Making A Big Deal About Pete Davidson’s Big… Deal

Huuuuuuuuuuge.

For a brief, manic weekend earlier this year, the internet was obsessed with BDE, and specifically, Pete Davidson’s BD.

Originally coined by Twitter user @imbobswaget about Anthony Bourdain in June, Big Dick Energy really took off when Davidson’s then-fiancée Ariana Grande “””jokingly””” (sure Jan) confirmed long-running rumours and suspicions that he had the hardest-working boxer-briefs in showbiz.

Many of the people who hadn’t been on the Davidson Crush Express since day one (ahem) and didn’t quite get why one of the most famous women in the world wanted to date a lanky comedian who looks like he literally never sleeps now nodded sagely, as if to say “Ah, no wonder she wanted to lock that down”.

Pete and Ariana may be no more, but BDE lives on, and more specifically, so does the “””rumour””” that he is extremely well endowed. So much so that there are not one, not two, but THREE nods to his allegedly massive schlong in her blockbuster new clip for moving-on anthem ‘thank u, next’.

First, there’s the shout out on his burn book page in the Mean Girls part of the clip:

Then, there’s the pretty corny bit in the Legally Blonde homage where Grande’s chatting to guest star Jennifer Coolidge in the nail salon, talking about a guy with a huge….. front tooth. Sure, Jan.

Then there’s the badge on the “UPS guy”… which actually says “BDE”.

The video’s director says this was all Ariana’s idea.

So is going on about his size her way of saying sorry for breaking off the engagement? Is she missing one part of Pete more than the rest of him? Por que no los dos?

Bless These Confused Non-Australians Who Thought Troye Sivan's Cameo In Ariana Grande's 'Thank U Next' Teaser Was "Homophobic"

Ohhhh, honeys.

The single most hyped piece of pop culture of the entire year (and yes I am including all Avengers-related content in this reckoning) – the clip for Ariana Grande’s ‘thank u, next‘ – got a teaser yesterday.

There’s so much gold here, from the fact that the jokes are actually good to the Mean Girls OG cast cameos, to the bit about Ariana breaking off her engagement to Pete Davidson.

But there is no moment more delightful than our very own Troye Sivan popping up and declaring:

“I heard she’s a lesbian now and dating some chick called Aubrey.” Then pausing and adding the most Australian seal of approval possible: “It’s f**cking sick.”

https://www.twitter.com/holymoira/status/1067315236284190720

That, by the way, a reference to the fans who misheard the lyrics “Plus, I met someone else / We havin’ better discussions / I know they say I move on too fast / But this one gon’ last / ‘Cause her name is Ari” and thought Grande was talking about someone called Aubrey and not, you know, herself.

Awwwww.

But bless their hearts, a lot of presumably non-Australian fans were deeply confused by the meaning of “f**king sick”.

https://www.twitter.com/hetphobicyoongi/status/1067340263813799936

Of course, because this is Stan Twitter, there are about four tweets misinterpreting it and four million going “uM troye is LITERALLY a MEMBER of the comMUNity fr what is going ON I’m -“.

The only logical next step here is that “f**king sick” goes mainstream in the US thanks to this teaser.

You heard it here first – “sick” is going to be the new “lit”. Tell your dad.

#Trending

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