Bleats

The 2019 Oscars Red Carpet Stomped All Over Gender Norms

Suit yourself.

Gowns are great. Suits are great. Those outfits that combine both? Questionable, but you do you, Melissa McCarthy.

It seems we’re entering the era of everybody Doing Them on the Oscars red carpet, whatever that means – including going beyond what men or women are “supposed” to wear to such a major event.

For Jason Momoa, that mean pairing his blush velvet suit with a matching scrunchie.

For Pose‘s Billy Porter, that meant turning up early to set the bar so high not even Jason Momoa could reach it.

And for an unprecedented number of women, it meant PANTS – because dresses are not inherently more fancy than a well-tailored suit.

SPARKLY SUITS.

SIGNATURE LEWKS.

POWER SUITS.

ART DECO SILK POWER SUITS FOR WHEN YOU’RE NOMINATED AGAINST YOURSELF AND HAVE TO BRING IT.

NOT A SUIT AND NOT VERY GOOD OVERALL BUT MELISSA MCCARTHY CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – FEBRUARY 24: Melissa McCarthy attends the 91st Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on February 24, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

WHITE SUITS.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – FEBRUARY 24: Diane Warren attends the 91st Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on February 24, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

NOT A SUIT BUT ALLISON JANNEY STILL GIVING THE GAYS EVERYTHING THEY WANT!

The Oscars is famously where you’re supposed to go all-out, but it’s not generally known for progressiveness or fashion experiments, give or take a swan dress.

So it’s brilliant to see how many people – especially women and queer men, but even the straight men who are working bright colours and coded tailoring – are bucking tradition.

While the awards themselves still have a little way to go in terms of righting the gender balance, the red carpet is showing the Academy voters just how far behind they are.

Reminder That Nobody Knows Why The Oscars Are Called The Oscars

It's a mystery!

The Oscars is a way catchier name than The Academy Awards – so much so that in 2013 the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences actually just rebranded them as “The Oscars”.

But there are still competing versions of how and who actually started calling the surprisingly heavy little gold dudes by their name.

It’s basically the pop culture history version of the drunken argument about why your friend Alex has the nickname “Gary”.

The most common – and semi-official – story is from 1931, the third year the awards were held: Academy librarian (and future Academy Director) Margaret Herrick said that the statue reminded of her of her Uncle Oscar (actually her cousin, but that’s her private business).

But Sidney Skolsky, the columnist said to have recorded that remark as an affectionate nickname given by Academy employees, later said he coined it himself – in his first column covering the Awards, which was in 1934. He said it was an old vaudeville joke, and he used it to try and take the fancy, famous award-winners down a notch.

Meanwhile, the Walt Disney Company claims that Disney himself was the first person to use it in public, and before that it was an insider-y industry nickname for the statue – and that was during his win for Three Little Pigs in 1934, so Skolsky can’t have coined it the same year if that’s true.

I know, I know. Shocking that people in Hollywood would argue about who gets the credit for something – or obscure the truth for the sake of a good story.

A Genius Colorado Girl Scout Is Using Shirtless Jason Momoa And A Pun To Flog More Cookies

Tasty.

Jason Momoa can sell anything. He can make sexually aggressive prairie-dwelling horse-warlords in eyeliner sexy. He can turn the silliest DC superhero into the highest-grossing DC superhero movie ever. He can inspire mega-nerdy sex toys.

And if someone needs convincing to buy delicious caramel cookies, he can do that too.

A Girl Scout in Colorado and her marketer mother are flogging an awful lot of extra cookies thanks to a shirtless Jason pic stuck on the front of the box.

But it’s not just a cheap marketing ploy – there’s also a pun involved.

Charlotte Holmberg was already killing the game – in fact her sales were so high she had earned the rank of Top Cookie CEO, which is definitely a healthy way to reward achievement in this brutal capitalist society.

https://twitter.com/GSColo/status/1095726455063900160

But she’s making extra bank off the thirsty neighbourhood mums who enjoy a snack and a snack.

The joke is, you see, that this popular flavour of GS cookies, a caramel and coconut ring, is called a Samoa for some reason.

Hence, Momoas.

Charlotte sold over 20 extra boxes of the special edition after she was on her local news.

https://twitter.com/GSColo/status/1095861702803869696

“The moms are getting really excited and they’re saying that they need them,” Charlotte said.

Me, getting in line for biscuits.

In case you were wondering, Australian Girl Guides do not get to sell Samoas, Momoas, or even the Thin Mints you hear about on sitcoms. In fact, they don’t even have the chocolate-coated ones I used to eat by the packet out of the fundraising box so my mum had to buy them all.

They do, however, have a very nice-looking gluten-free shortbread.

Look, we’re not above a Momoa pun ourselves. So we say more biscuits, more puns, and more pecs for all.

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