Here’s a hard truth: no matter how you spin it, it has historically been very difficult to argue that your masturbatory habits have been socially beneficial.
Thankfully that’s all changed with the news that PornHub are launching their series Beesexual: a series of short clips raising awareness of the disappearance of bees from the wild and the ecological collapse which will follow as countless plants are unable to propagate without them.
You know, exactly the sort of apocalyptic science that truly enlivens a good wank.
The company will donate to pro-bee charities for every view, with each of their bee-pollination videos sexfully voiced by porn actors. Aside from the good cause element, it’s also perfect for those of us who enjoy a bit of a chuckle during the refractory period.
Hot tip, though. Bellowing “I’M TRYING TO SAVE THE BEES!” at your office supervisor isn’t going to fly as an excuse. OH&S guidelines are there for a reason.