Earlier this week Pauline Hanson took to the nation’s television-waves to bemoan her enormous misfortune in being let down by the men who keep mysteriously being endorsed by her party.
“I am kicked in the guts time and time again,” she tearfully explained of the people she specifically chose to have represent her party and personally endorsed. “It happens right before an election.”
To be fair, that’s typically when candidates are announced.
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has admitted she has been “absolutely devastated” by the recent scandals that have enveloped her party, breaking down in an exclusive interview with A Current Affair. #9Today pic.twitter.com/YHVIKOFrFP
— The Today Show (@TheTodayShow) April 30, 2019
Elsewhere in her why-are-these-loose-cannons-so-darn-loose lament she cited party co-founder David Oldfield, Brian Burston (who quit to join Palmer United) and Fraser Anning (who quit the party minutes after he was plonked into the senate to replace the ineligible Malcolm Roberts).
And Hanson was being uncharacteristically modest. Heck, she left out her advisor James Ashby (who scored a ban from Parliament House after a fistfight with Burston), and Malcolm Roberts (who kept insisting that he’d renounced his UK-via-South-Africa citizenship and had absolutely done no such thing).
And that’s before we go into the people selected as candidates which has been… look, it’s been colourful.
on this day last year pic.twitter.com/H1AlKQtVxE
— michael hing (@hingers) April 27, 2018
And of course there’s the magnificent Rod Culleton, One Nation’s former WA senator who quit the party, was then found ineligible to have run due to being an undischarged bankrupt and is now running for the senate again despite STILL being ineligible, to the point where the Australian Electoral Commission put out a statement calling on the federal police to investigate. Amazing.
Anyway, that’s all water under the bridge and One Nation’s future seems bri… [puts finger to ear] sorry, we’re getting reports that candidate for Leichhardt Ross Macdonald would like to explain how it’s not racist to post jokes on Facebook about feeding Indigenous people to crocodiles.
Stay tuned for One Nation candidate Ross Macdonald's first interview in which he and Malcolm Roberts deny it is racist to joke about feeding Aboriginal people to crocs. #auspol #ausvotes #sexycentaur pic.twitter.com/qClNqfgRA7
— Chris Calcino (@chriscalcino) May 2, 2019
“I thought it was humorous at the time and I shared it on Facebook, which a lot of people do,” he explained, adding “I know a lot of Irish jokes too, and Pommy jokes, kiwi jokes.” So that’s… um, sorry, what?
Helpfully the aforementioned Roberts was on board to help explain that racism isn’t in any way racist, and that other photos, like the one of Macdonald with a topless Thai waitress, was in no way a creepy reflection on the man as “He broke no laws in this country, he broke no laws in Thailand, he was indulging in a local business.” So that’s settled!
Anyway, it’s too late to change the ballot paper and the good people of Leichhardt will shortly have their chance to cast their ballot for a centaur-porn enthusiast with strange ideas about what constitutes bigotry. Or, better yet, someone else.
“In other news, elect me!”
On a more positive note, One Nation’s NSW upper house MP Mark Latham gleefully signed a wall at Hector’s Cafe this week in which he seemingly immortalised his love of… um, goo?
Mr @RealMarkLatham signing the "Famous" Hector's cafe wall, along with many others.. @PaulineHansonOz just above. @OneNationAus pic.twitter.com/tex3NP1SBd
— Emma Azzopardi (@illwah) May 2, 2019
To be fair, it’s our favourite Sonic Youth album too. ‘Kool Thing’ is still a goddamn JAM.
