Bleats

One Direction Fans Were Robbed Of A Happy Ending When They Split Up

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

Before Harry Styles became a Gucci model, Stevie Nicks’ adoptive son and Rolling Stone cover boy, he was spitting some absolute drivel about working in a bakery and singing an a-cappella cover of Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely.

After being thrown together into a group with four other lanky British teens, One Direction went on to place third on The X Factor 2010, and first place in my heart forever.

Mwah

In March of 2016, One Direction announced an 18-month hiatus, and three years later, Harry Styles is thriving as a solo artist, Niall Horan is making radio hits, Louis Tomlinson is setting himself up to be a reality singing show judge until his retirement, Zayn Malik has released like four albums but is yet to perform live, and Liam Payne is a dad making weird club music but ultimately, living his best life.

I spent my best years as a full on One Direction stan. I got a Twitter account just so I could watch Liam and Niall do Twit-Cam’s (A short-lived in-app livestream feature). My friends and I genuinely threw One Direction Birthday parties – not for our own birthdays, for the birth of the band (July 23rd, what’s good.)

Actual pics from a 1D party complete with photo cake and aptly named nipple game

I didn’t realise that my 1D merch would become memorabilia so quickly.

It’s occurred to me- what am I meant to do with my secret One Direction cupboard with an extensive array of 1D-branded pens, dolls, perfume, CDs, DVDs, birthday cards, Christmas cards, stamps, stickers, books, shirts and a life-sized cut out of Zayn Malik?

What am I meant to do with these niche references that I adopted in my most impressionable years? If I was to bring up that one weird French interview where One Direction looked like they were being held captive in an isolation room at a mental health institution and they performed The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song is their best interview, how am I meant to know if you’re going to catch my drift?

(I was today years old when I found out the original video is gone and the media outlet doesn’t exist anymore.)

Boy bands burn out, the pressure of fame for teenagers can be overwhelming, touring is relentless, you want to break out of the cookie-cutter image – whatever the reason was for breaking up, we were never looped in. There was no official end to One Direction, because their statement was promoting an ’18 month hiatus’.

We technically got a final tour and a final album, but none of us realised it at the time. Like, I get it now because I’m older and I’ve learnt the other side of the industry, but for a kid – that shit was heartbreaking. We just had to pretend we were fine with it so we rolled up to school every day like:

Did we do smthn wrong???

It’s kinda like when your dad goes out to get cigarettes and before you know it, your parents are divorced and your mum says she’s taking you to Dreamworld when really she takes you to her friend Mel’s house and you don’t see your dad for years until the time when you finally do and he’s totally different and whole-heartedly pretends that he was never in the band.

I’m mixing references.

Basically, our parents all broke up and didn’t tell us why, then they moved on with their lives and expected us to keep up. We’re happy for them, and we support them but we could’ve hacked the truth if it was offered up at the time. The worst thing to come out of One Direction leaving us so abruptly though was the fact that we can’t listen to Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn or see a set of stairs without getting violent flashbacks to a better life. Too dark?

What Ever Happened To Fist-Clenching Power Ballads And What Did We Do To Deserve The Drought?

Limp fist.

First and foremost, thanks for clicking through because it’s obvious that you get where I’m coming from, and I find real comfort in that.

Welcome to the driest time for fist-clenching power ballads, where we are dragging ourselves around the Top 40 charts in pure agony, in search of a song that will infiltrate the soul and do what songs were intended to do.

The Resident | FOX

It starts with a melody that plucks on the heart-strings, playing a tune that sings of true love or heartache (the good stuff) and you feel it. You feel the warmth spread from your chest and up your neck, forcing your hair to stand up on end and your face to feel hot. It spreads through your whole body to the tips of your fingers until you can’t take it anymore; your hands clench into a fist. You’re born again.

Parks and Recreation | NBC

There’s something to be said for the 80s, 90s and 00s producing some of the best power ballads, maybe ever. I’m talking Whitney, Journey, *NSYNC – the list of niche fist-clenching power ballad creators is where I thrive, and where music thrived.

On the record, music today have allowed pop music to flourish from a guilty pleasure to genuinely very great feel-good bops.

Miley Cyrus & Charli XCX | BBC Radio 1

I have conducted extensive research to conclude the definitive beginning and end of the fist-clench worthy songs.

1972, Led Zepplin invented the power ballad with Stairway To Heaven. No further comments will be made or heard, this is bible.

And in 2007, the final power ballad sounded, straight out of the gate with these big-ass, emo AF lyrics:

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home

Admit it, your fist is already clenched. The Jonas Brothers gave us the final fist-clenching power ballad with When You Look Me In The Eyes and that’s the cold-hard truth.

A thing of beauty and grace. For the culture.

So, where do we go from here? Why did the power ballad die out? Was When You Look Me In The Eyes just far too powerful to ever top?

The only thing to do, aside from hope and pray the power ballad makes a comeback, is listen to the classics. Start yourself off with these and feel where it takes you.


Don’t Stop Believing – Journey


I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys


I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing – Aerosmith


We Belong Together – Mariah Carey


I Have Nothing – Whitney Houston


And just for my own ego, this is the closest I’ve been to a power ballad since The Jonas Brothers. A little band called LANY from Los Angeles have managed to reignite my faith in the future of power ballads with Hericane. Give it a listen for yourself and may your fists clench in solidarity.

Ariana Grande Perfectly Shutting Down A Twitter Troll Just Further Confirms Her Icon Status

thank u, next to that attitude.

Queen Ariana Grande is absolutely setting Twitter on fire amidst her newfound obsession with tweet-sprees.

In between Sweetener tour stops, Ariana has been furiously tapping away on her phone and making all the fans feel super connected, like she could really maybe be just like us. (SPOILER: She’s not. She’s God among the people.)

A fan called her on her Twitter habits.

Ariana came in with a quirky response, ‘I’ll keep popping in.’

Now look, Twitter slang is a very touchy subject. You either use it correctly, or not at all. That’s usually the blanket rules, but sometimes, trolls will find you anyway and jump on you for it.

Ariana got hit with a fan that decided to go too far and tear into her age.

Phwoar! Ari stans are BRUTAL.

Good thing Ariana wouldn’t accept this as a response and totally laid into her with a, pretty great threat.

Personally, I would be honoured.

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