Sorry, Marvel – 2018’s most ambitious crossover blockbuster with an all-star cast playing a team of highly skilled, sexy mavericks trying to get their hands on some very shiny items is Ocean’s 8.
The new official, for-real, not-a-teaser trailer dropped this morning, and if you haven’t already watched it one time for each member of the eight plus an extra time to try and pick up on all the gay vibes, then another time for the Met Gala dresses specifically, then one more time just for Cate’s custom Burberry jewel-toned velvet three-piece suits which really deserve their own movie, then you might want to hold off.
cate blanchett wearing suits, ties and leather pants in ocean's 8. pic.twitter.com/y915DG49Kx
— best of cate blanchett (@bestofcate) December 18, 2017
Watching trailers in 2018 is a dangerous game anyway, because for some reason they almost always seem to show you three quarters of the movie. For every time you’re saved from spending $20 on a dud with a great cast, you have the best joke or a major reveal spoiled in a movie you were really looking forward to seeing.
OK, if you really don’t want it spoiled, this is where you stop reading. Obviously.
If you’re paying attention in the Ocean’s 8 trailer – or, uh, you’ve watched it eleven times – you’ll notice a shot we’ve seen before. This is the one that might spoil a reveal.
It’s the train shot. The one that was the first ever image released from the movie.
Why is it a spoiler?
Because Anne Hathaway is in it, and she’s supposed to be playing the mark.
The one whose diamond necklace they’re supposedly trying to steal.
But there she is, sunnies on, chilling in the subway car with the rest of the crew, in what could well be the film’s equivalent of the fountain scene from Ocean’s 11.
OK, we don’t know for sure that her slightly dim socialite character is Sandra Bullock’s woman on the inside.
And if this instalment of the franchise (it’s not a reboot, a prequel, a remake or anything like that, no matter what the internet’s most fragile pissbabies are saying while they cry Ghostbusters) is true to the spirit of the original, there will be layers upon layers of misdirection and twists beyond the fact that there’s something more to Daphne than extremely good hot pink lipstick.
Also, who even cares about the plot? We’re all going to this to see Rihanna be better than a regular human and wonder how Awkwafina kept her s**t together around all these women and above all, watch Cate wear velvet and leather and have outrageous sexual tension with Sandra Bullock.
EXCUSE.