Ahh, the simpler times: when your only source of anxiety was who to put in your MySpace Top 8, what polyphonic ringtone you should buy, and what kind of ~quirky~ email address you should go for.
Now we’re all grown up and our email addresses have to be, well, adult and safe for workplaces, it’s made me look back and reminisce about all the weird and wonderful phrases and word combinations we’d use for one of our primary sources of contact.
In every group of friends, and at every school, there was one or two kids who loved the fact they knew what ‘69’ meant and aimed to incorporate it into every aspect of their identity e.g. coolguy69@hotmail.com or sexybabe69@hotmail.com.
Then there was that weird phase we all went through when shortening words and changing letters was all that mattered. ‘Is’ became ‘iz,’ ‘sexy’ was ‘sxc’ and ‘done’ was altered to ‘dun.’ It was as if we just discovered Internet language and we couldn’t get enough of it. Case in point: badboiznsxcgals@hotmail.com or melizdacoolest@hotmail.com.
That’s not to say there isn’t a place in our memories for the very serious and literal email addresses that involved pets or family members. For example, ilovetheoc@hotmail.com, jenni_loves_guinea_pigs_xx@hotmail.com or mybrother__isstinky@hotmail.com.
Credit: Giphy
These weren’t the only addresses that gave people a snapshot into one’s personality, or frame of mind. There were also the email addresses that identified key interests and hobbies – for instance, the simple yet elegant frangipaniloverfiona@hotmail.com or my old email address beachiebum14@hotmail.com. The ironic thing about that one is, I’ve never been a huge fan of the beach.
It’s a crying shame we don’t express ourselves the way we once did with our pre-pubescent email addresses. It’s nice to look back and remember how young, wild and free we once were, however I am secretly quite glad we all reached an age where we decided to change over to our actual names. Somehow I don’t think dogpaws_and_daisies69@hotmail.com would get you a job at one of the Big Four anytime soon – but dare to dream I say!