Bleats

A Man Named Bowser Is Now In Charge Of Nintendo America Which Will Definitely End Well

Like, literally unreal. Are we being trolled?

Nintendo America have just announced their new Vice President of Sales following the departure of Reggie Fils-Aimé, and his name is unbelievable. As in, I did not believe it until I verified it.

His name is Doug Bowser.

Bowser.

This is not Doug Bowser.

As in the main antagonist in all of Nintendo’s Mario games. Who has a fictional female counterpart called Bowsette that fans thirsted over last year.

Putting aside the amazing fact that it’s a real human name, what are the odds that someone with that name would 1. end up working at Nintendo and 2. end up in charge of Nintendo?

How do we know this wasn’t his plan all along? To live up to his name and take down Nintendo from within?

TBH, he looks too nice to do that, but still.

This is Doug Bowser.

But it’s still pretty hilarious.

Wait… why are Mario and Luigi tied up?! Oh no.

And his Twitter username is @thetruebowser?

Oh no. I’m getting nervous. Has Nintendo made a terrible mistake?

I guess things could have been worse.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate Is Here And It's Exceeding Everyone's Expectations

The boys are back in town.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate for was released for the Nintendo Switch yesterday, and the reviews are in: it’s a smash, pun intended.

It’s already received rave reviews from CNet, IGN, the Sydney Morning HeraldEurogamer, Mashable, and Kotaku. According to Metacritic, 39 reviews average out to giving it a score of 93.

News.com.au said the game was “Nintendo’s best yet”, and the Sydney Morning Herald described it as “so full of content it’s hard to imagine it will ever be topped”. Mashable assures fans of the original game that the new iteration “nails every aspect fans love about the series”, while Kotaku reckons your cherished memories of the original game are “done great justice” by Ultimate.

Reviewers aren’t the only ones loving it – people on social media are into it, too.

People particularly seem to enjoy the range of characters available to unlock, including shiny versions of Pokémon favourites like Squirtle.

And… demonic Jigglypuff? I don’t know what’s going on here, tbh.

I’ve also hopped on the Smash Bros wagon, having bought a Switch for the sole purpose of playing Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu! last month.

I tried playing Ultimate for five minutes, but Donkey Kong absolutely decimated my Pikachu and it bummed me out. I think I need someone to explain to me how exactly to play this game. Or maybe I need to organise a Smash Bros party, because that sounds like the best setting to play this game in.

My inability to play doesn’t say anything about the game though – instead, it says everything about my childhood which was devoid of Nintendo games. Yes, I will accept your pity.

Anyway, catch me spending the rest of my weekend trying to work out exactly how to play this game so I can enjoy it to the fullest and see what all the hype is about. Let’s kick some ape butt, Pikachu!

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