Flying all the way to Australia to make a Yass joke may seem excessive, but the Queer Eye guys know a good punchline when they see it.
They’re also not afraid to tackle the big, sociopolitical issues of the day in their very successful Netflix reboot series. And boy do we have big sociopolitical issues to crash tackle.
Appearance is only skin deep. And while it seems that Australia has got its shit together and we’re very superficially beautiful as a country, there are a few things Australia could get the Fab Five to “make-better” (not make over) while they’re here.
Our lack of a national cuisine
This is debatable, sure, since we have meat pies and I don’t know, Democracy Sausage sizzles, but we don’t really have a cuisine to call our own.
We’ve borrowed (pillaged) so much from other cultures that we don’t really know what “Australian” cuisine actually is. Anyone who tries to explain it, is sort of like “modern food” and “pub food” but even this isn’t quite right. There’s a big question mark around what is ours. How long can we keep claiming the pavlova and Pad Thai before the jig is up?
And is Antoni and his mortar and pestle guacamole tool the guy to help us? Absolutely, it doesn’t need to be complicated. But what can we own? Flat whites and smashed avo? I mean Antoni will have a field day with the smashed avo – just try and stop him when he gets his hands on a proper Hass avocado – but I feel like we need to actually lock down what is Aussie food.
Maybe we can get him onto Indigenous cuisine. Witjuti grub-garnished hot dogs, wattleseed grilled cheese and bush tomato guac, anyone?
How white all our industries are
This really needs a makeover. Tan, get in here, we need you. You too Karamo. Bobby, you can take a much needed rest.
We need to do something about an industry that is, in the words of Waleed Aly at the launch of Media Diversity Australia: “a snowfield of white faces”.
“Where does diversity turn up on our screens?” Aly asked. “Reality TV mostly, because you can’t stop brown people cooking. They’re going to be really good at it and they’re going to compete,” he said, noting that this diversity does not translate onto panel shows, comedies or scripted dramas.
Generally our lack of diversity means that media channels and other industries constantly make mistakes that could easily be avoided if the landscape wasn’t just an ocean of milk. But it also means that our incredibly diverse country can be better represented so we can all dream of seeing ourselves reflected in the stories we tell, and not just in reality cooking shows. I know this is something the Five could collectively makeover, and watch lovingly from their loft while falling over each other at their ability to make us less monochrome.
Police brutality
We may not have a gun problem the same way that the US does, but we certainly have a police problem. And while it’s all well and good to pose with female police officers, this kind of thing doesn’t sit right with anyone who has a passing knowledge of how bad our police force can be – especially for First Nations Australians.
It would be great if the Queer Eye guys could make over the entire justice system with some general culture chats – specifically, some trademark Karamo heart to hearts (if he’s not still traumatised by that episode in season 1 with the coppers SERIOUSLY WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!).
I’m sure this lady police officer is great, but did the Queer Eye guys’ first proper Aus post have to be with a cop.. pic.twitter.com/F3rrRD5YJG
— Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) June 5, 2018
But yeah sure cool, Yass is great too, what do I know? Carry on, fellas.