Bleats

These Songs Exploded Overseas But You've Never Heard Of Them, Because Australia

We’re here for bangers and the bangers alone.

Let’s be real, there’s a mate in every friendship circle who thinks their music is “the best in the group.” They’re musically cocky if you will, and I’m here to tell them that the image they have of themselves is most certainly wrong.

That’s right unless your group’s playlist god is a dedicated music-scrounger, chances are their collection is a little lacking. It’s about time we fess up when it comes to the Australian music scene. While it does its best to showcase diverse Australian acts, the reality is it remains an echo chamber comprised almost entirely of US, Australian and UK acts. Most of us (K-pop fans excluded) are listening to music from about 3 out of the 7 continents and as Shania Twain once said: that don’t impress-a-me-much.

Australians just aren’t that good at trying new things. In fact, sometimes Australian culture is just downright toxic. We would never – I repeat – never, listen to a song in a foreign language because what’s the point? The exception here being Eurovision and two Spanish hits: ‘La Macarena’ and ‘Despacito’. And really, Even then Justin Bieber had to make that cringy English version.

So if you’re living on this giant island continent I hate to break it to you but you’ve been missing out. In the past few years, some of the greatest bangers have been produced overseas…they’ve just never made it here. 

Djadja’ by Aya Nakamura from France

Where is Aya Nakamura’s cult? It makes close to zero sense as to why this Afropop artist isn’t being played on every radio around the world. That being said Nakamura’s song ‘Djadja’ reached number one in France, The Netherlands and Romania in 2018. The singer was born in Mali, West Africa but grew up in the suburbs of Paris. A couple of years ago she started posting her tracks online and now she’s basically a big deal overseas. ‘Djadja’ has a completely called for 432 million views on YouTube. 

‘Easy’ by Cro from Germany

‘Easy’ by German rapper Cro peaked in 2012, the year it was released – but you’ve never heard it before, have ya? It takes approximately 3 seconds of listening to get addicted to this song. This track is so smooth understanding the words or not doesn’t matter. ‘Easy’ reached platinum in Germany the year it was released and hit number four on Austrian charts. With 60 million YouTube views it ain’t small peanuts.

‘Callaita’ by Bad Bunny from Puerto Rico 

Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, AKA Bad Bunny, is a Puerto Rican Latin trap and reggaeton artist. Also, he makes music better than Drake. Big call, I went there. Ocasio was working in a supermarket and studying when he gained a following on Soundcloud. Now he’s essential listening for any Spanish-speaking young person. His song ‘Callaita’ was released in May of this year and made it into the top 10 in about a billion Latino countries. It’s physiologically impossible not to scream “AYA CALLAITA” during the chorus of this song. It’s that good.

‘Nevermind’ by Dennis Lloyd from Israel

Israel’s Dennis Lloyd creates music that makes you cry about that thing from years ago…in a good way. ‘Nevermind’ doesn’t completely tear the heartstrings apart – the lyrics are deep but they’re paired with an upbeat dance track. Australia recognised its quality last year when the hit reached number 10 on our ARIA chart. In fact,  ‘Nevermind’ made it into the top 10 in charts across the world. What Australia doesn’t know is that ‘Nevermind’ is just one of the Israeli musician’s bangers – everything he makes is top-tier. 

‘Where Have You Been, My Disco?’ by IV of Spades from The Philippines

‘Where Have You Been, My Disco’ isn’t this Filipino band’s greatest success but I’m almost 100% certain it would be if Australia opened its ears to this banger. Old school funk and disco influences are having their moment again, as seen through the work of huge musicians like Tom Misch and Jungle from the UK and Parcels from Australia. The Filipino band was nominated for Best Southeast Asia Act at the 2018 MTV Europe Music Awards and rightly so. It’s hard to come across a bass line this funky. This act looks like something straight outta the ’70s and deserves all the international recognition. 

Aussie music fans can almost always fit into two categories: the guy who makes entire playlists consisting of bands from one radio station; or worse, the guy who exclusively listens to rare vinyl records. Let’s have a moment of growth, dear friends, and open our ears to bangers from across the continents. 

Camila Cabello’s Mid-Concert Speech Is A Must-Listen If Your Mental Health Is Struggling

"Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend."

On Wednesday night, Cuban-American singer Camila Cabello was performing an intimate show at The Fillmore in Miami, Florida. The performance kicked off with her singing her latest single, ‘Shameless’, while looking powerful AF in a white full bodysuit. 

Now Cabello’s garnered a lot of media attention lately due to her rumoured relationship with Shawn Mendes – it’s still unclear and confusing as hell. Neither singers seem to have confirmed or denied.

In less confusing, and arguably more relevant news, Cabello made a very moving speech to her fans. She paused mid-set at The Fillmore to speak about the importance of mental health.

“I have struggled so much in the past few years with, you know, with anxiety… I feel like this song and this part of the show is so important to me because I’ve had to remind myself lately to be so kind to myself,” Cabello told fans.

All the tears.

The singer clearly struggled to keep her emotions in check while opening up about going through a tough time. She, along with every other celebrity, ought to be encouraged for revealing their humanity in such a graceful and honest way. As seen with Johnathan Van Ness opening up about being HIV positive, initiating important discussions can have a profound impact on audiences.

The singer spoke about her album ‘Romance,’ adding:

“…the funny thing is that all of this journey always just brings me back to myself… that the person you need to fall in love with the most, the person that you need to be the kindest to, the person that you need to be the most patient with, is actually you.”

She’s right.

I’ll confess: I was on public transport when I first heard the speech and at that moment was one more warm-hearted word away from audibly sobbing.

Who would have thought a pop sensation would provide a reality check that literally everyone deserves to hear. Honestly, people usually just go the therapy for this type of top-tier encouragement.

As if the patience line wasn’t enough, she continued:

“…It’s not just a cliché, it’s not just a generic thing to say. The person, the way that you talk to yourself in your head is so, so important…talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend… don’t be mean to yourself because that only makes things worse.”

Do it!!!

In the end, Camila Cabello did that thing we so often do as humans – she apologised for being emotional and explains where it all came from:

“…Sometimes just being a human can be a hard f***ing thing, you know?”

Turns Out Defending Yourself Against An Armed Criminal With A Coffee Jar Is A Really Bad Idea

A classic case of gun vs jar - we've all been there.

An Australian man has decided to defend himself against an armed carjacker by using a jar of instant coffee. 

Jason, 48, was on a ciggie and coffee run on Tuesday night at a service station in Frankston, Victoria, according to 7 News. When he approached his Mercedes Benz after the purchase, a stranger appeared, pointing a gun at his face. 

Now, you’d think Jason would have just dropped everything and made no sudden movements- but what does he do?

He steps back and, according to 7 News, says: “No, you’re not getting my keys.” Big, bold and very risky, to say the least.

You just shouldn’t f**k with guns, guys.

Apparently Jason then kicked the man and hit him over the head with his jar of coffee. The perpetrator responded by whacking him on the head with his firearm. A classic case of coffee jar vs gun. We’ve all been there.

Keep in mind, this life-risking situation was all for a pack of ciggies, Nescafe Blend 43 and a fancy car.

It all has me wondering: why is it that some people respond so passively in crisis situations while others go full-on turbo, taking on an armed man with nothing but instant coffee?

Jason, after all, did say: “I think most people probably should hand the keys over, but I’m sort of not one of those people.” 

Jason, but make it Mean Girls.

Most people think they have what it takes to survive a crisis, according to disaster expert Anie Kalayjian, who says that, in reality, most of us actually panic to some degree and are far more excitable than what we envision. That image you have of yourself being cool, calm and collected in a situation of danger? Probably inaccurate.

Kalayjian also states that people who place an emphasis on material items may not fare well in times of trouble. You’re actually less likely to panic if your purpose and meaning in life is more than your worldly possessions- you’re less likely to be concerned about material loss. 

Perhaps that’s the takeaway here: your life is far more important than risking a potentially fatal gunshot wound.

The attacker, reported to have been wearing ear warmers (an interesting choice for a criminal), eventually left the scene with nothing but Jason’s pack of ciggies. Really, it just doesn’t get more Australian than that. 

“Didn’t get the Benz, boys, but check out these durries!”

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