Bleats

Remember McFly? They're Giving Us The Noughties Boy Band Reunion No One Asked For

Go back to 2009, and stay there.

For nearly a decade, they’ve lain dormant. But with a cryptic GIF posted to their social media accounts, McFly have announced an end to their slumber (in the form of an Instagram live). The fans have gone wild – could this mean new music? A tour? But it’s time to look past the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia and ignore the hype beast, because the vibes of the 00s are well and truly over.

The boy bands of the noughties were charming, but in a pop-punk way. McFly had the whole package – grating vocals, hard-hitting electric guitar riffs, percussion that could probably blow up your headphones. Despite the romantic themes, you’d be hard pressed to describe their style as sweet and syrupy. Groups like 5ive and Busted were stylistic similar, churning out rock-like anthems rather than chill grooves.

However, the world has changed a lot in the time since the McFly era – we’ve left the cocoon of youthful innocence. There’s already enough yelling happening all the time, and the sweetness of modern pop is the perfect escape. It’s great to be able to throw on some Westlife to remind yourself of a better time, but the new generation of boy bands are serenaders of a different kind.

Compare the early 00s hits to those of One Direction, or the softboi revolution that is BTS. See what I mean? Still catchy, but way more mellow than their predecessors.

The worst possible outcome here is for McFly to fall into the same trap that so many before them have – too much synth. Fall Out Boy did it, and Panic! At The Disco did too, relying on the popularity of electronica and leaving their old, punk rock ways behind. It’s not like the new stuff is objectively bad, it’s just disappointing for the fans who have been with them since the beginning.

If McFly go down the modern Top 40 route, they might regain commercial success, but run the risk of alienating most of their audience. Then again, given that most of that audience have long since left their teenage rebellion behind, they’re probably not the best market to capture.

Boy bands like McFly have been cited as influences for groups that are far more recognisable to the modern youth. One Direction, 5SOS and The Vamps have all paid homage to them. The best case scenario is that they come out of the other side of this mysterious announcement with their legacy intact.

And to any of the other noughties boy bands considering a reunion – just don’t. Everyone will remember you more fondly if you just grow old gracefully.

2007 Me Is Not OK With The Veronicas' Spot On The Good Things Lineup

Personally insulted.

Where were you the first time you heard the timeless banger ‘Untouched’? How many radio plays did it take before you were screaming ALALALALA with your pals in the school yard? You can imagine my righteous indignation when I saw the Good Things line-up had these pillars of Aussie pop relegated to the same rank as Coheed and Cambria. Like, they’re good, but they’re not icons of an era good.

Depending on what stage of life you were at in 2007, The Veronicas were probably a little saucy to be singing along to in public. Speaking for myself, I was a tiny baby who had no clue that ‘feeling so untouched’ and ‘needing someone so much’ had a vaguely sexual implication. But the rebellious, punk-ish lyrics of Hook Me Up (and, of course, the emo aesthetic of the music video) were a formative influence on Aussie teenagers.

The Origliasso twins have made some history-making contributions to the Australian gothic over the decade and a half they’ve been around, but be honest for a sec – do you actually know what they’ve been doing for the last few years?

They’ve never replicated their Noughties commercial success, but they have released a self-titled album and a bunch of singles since their split with Warner Bros and resigning with Sony. Jess’ on-again-off-again relationship with Ruby Rose was probably the only headline you’ve seen about the Veronicas since 2009, but recently they’ve been performing at a number of music festivals and have even said they’ll be doing an MTV reality show in the future.

It’s probably a little dumb to be so judgey about Good Things’ graphic design – after all, it’s not like these things are produced based on nostalgia. A Day To Remember and Simple Plan are both international artists, while Parkway Drive and Violent Soho are a little more prominent currently than The Veronicas are.

But even the lineup itself has been seriously divisive on social media. Folks are either super pumped, or absolutely devastated. Twitter user Jack Lawless probably summed it up best, commenting: “The good things lineup is conflicting me; the good is REALLY good but the bad, of which there are more, is REEEEEEEEEALLY bad.”

It’s basically the dream lineup for a mid-Noughties emo kid, which is probably the exact vibe that the organisers were going for.

The Veronicas mightn’t be front and center, but at least they’ll be there. And you can bet your life I’ll be down there in the moshpit wearing an unhealthy amount of black eyeliner.

Lizzo's Ass-Centric Performance At The VMAs Is Body Positivity We Can All Aspire To

The juice has been spilled.

There’s only one woman in modern pop who could jump out on stage at the VMAs in front of a giant inflatable butt, with a troupe of twerking backup dancers, and make it the classiest performance of the night – it’s Lizzo.

She’s got BDE through the roof, and her confidence is enviable. Lizzo never submits to the pressure to cover up her body because it’s not the skinny norm of the popstar princess genre – instead, she confronts the haters by preaching her juice to the whole world.

The singer/rapper/flautist/queen-of-good-vibes also ain’t here for people who criticise her for flaunting her body – and that includes ladies who try to call her out for being attention-seeking, or shame her for ‘promoting obesity’ (eyeroll). Let’s be real, they’re probably just jealous of her for doing the things that they won’t.

Lizzo puts the whole package on display. On social media, she’s always making a clear statement that cellulite and body rolls are no less attractive that boobs or butts. Hell, her Insta handle is ‘Lizzo be eating’ for crying out loud. She’s keeping it real, and people are adoring her for it.

Above all, her empowering public figure and performances have the potential to make genuine progress in the music industry. Female bodies are still policed by producers, record labels, and society at large, and go from being censored one moment to exploited the next. This goes double for black bodies.

Even when artists produce songs and videos that supposedly promote body positivity, their blatant messaging and sole focus on a person’s physical appearance doesn’t actually change anything for the better.

That’s what makes Lizzo so different – she’s just doing her own thing, and it always comes from the heart. Sure, she sings about being a “thick bitch who needs tempo,” but the themes of her songs are more about self-care, self-worth, and self-acceptance than crying out to the world to love her fat. And it’s those deeply personal messages that have struck a chord with her audience.

So Lizzo, if you’re reading this, keep on doing you and we’ll keep cheering you on – especially if ‘doing you’ looks like that incredible VMAs performance. Because we could all do with more ass-positive content in our lives.

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