Bleats

Today I Learned: It Chapter One Cut Out A Really Cooked Scene That Would've Made You Sick

Pennywise would've needed therapy had he seen it.

Stephen King’s It is a behemoth of a novel and is far too large to squeeze into one film. To get around this little conundrum, the filmmakers of the 2017 adaptation by splitting the novel into two films, It: Chapter One and It: Chapter Two.

It was a smart move by the filmmakers. They get two bites of the box office cherry while also avoiding the pressure of figuring out what material to cut out and what to leave in.

This allowed the filmmakers to adapt basically everything from the novel across the two films. Having said that, they did cut one notable sequence and it was for the best because it’s something that would’ve traumatised you.

Traumatise you say…

The novel is split into two time periods, one when the characters are kids and one when they’re adults. The kid timeline is depicted in It: Chapter One and ends with the Losers’ Club defeating Pennywise in the sewers of Derry before managing to escape and swearing a blood oath to come back to the town should the clown ever return.

In the novel, this segment unfolds a bit differently. The Losers’ Club defeat Pennywise but get lost in the sewers, which causes the group to fracture under the stress. Beverly, the only female member, comes up with a solution to restore unity to the group: have sex with each of the boys.

Yeah.

King doesn’t skimp out on the details either as he gets nice and deep into this cooked, underaged orgy: “Mike comes to her, then Richie, and the act is repeated. Now she feels some pleasure, dim heat in her childish unmatured sex, and she closes her eyes as Stan comes to her and she thinks of the birds.

Beverly’s ridiculous plan ultimately works as when the orgy is over, one of the boys remembers where they had made a wrong turn in the sewers and they manage to escape.

As for why King included the orgy scene in It, he said it had nothing to do with sex and was more about the connection between childhood and adulthood.

“Intuitively, the Losers knew they had to be together again. The sexual act connected childhood and adulthood. It’s another version of the glass tunnel that connects the children’s library and the adult library. Times have changed since I wrote that scene and there is now more sensitivity to those issues.

Nice one, Stephen King.

It’s perhaps no surprise the filmmakers for It: Chapter One decided to cut this scene. There’s enough scary stuff going on in the film already and making everyone sick with an orgy featuring children might’ve just been a step too far.

But hey, we all learned something here: Next time you get lost in the sewers somewhere with your friends, get your orgy on because apparently what you need to remember where you need to go.

Inglourious Basterds Is Tarantino's Best Work Wrapped Up In His Worst Film

So, gentlemen, let's discuss the prospect of ending the debate over the best and worst Tarantino film tonight.

It’s been a decade since Quentin Tarantino’s revisionist WWII epic, Inglourious Basterds, was dropped upon us and stirred up the debate of whether it’s his next Pulp Fiction or his next Death Proof.

With the benefit of hindsight, multiple viewings and additional entries into Tarantino’s filmography for comparison, the answer to the aforementioned debate about Inglourious Basterds is a resounding… bit of both?

It’s not hyperbole to say Inglourious Basterds contains some of the finest work Tarantino will ever pump out in his illustrious career.

This wouldn’t be a proper discussion about the Basterds without some mention of its iconic opening scene where Hans Landa – by far the best character Tarantino has ever created – rocks up to some poor French farmer’s house and systematically breaks the guy’s defences down. There’s a reason why people talk about it all the time: it’s brilliant.

It’s a masterclass in tension, acting, character development and seemingly meandering yet entertaining dialogue. It’s little surprise Tarantino himself thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever done.

But the opening scene is far from the only piece of Inglourious Basterds brilliance from Tarantino.

You could suffocate from the tension during Hans and Shosanna’s seemingly innocent lunchtime conversation over cigarettes and strudels; There’s the brilliant tavern scene where a game of “Guess who” descends into a bloody mess of German exchanges, flying bullets and lessons on the different ways you can express “three” with your fingers; And you’ve got the crazy final 20 or so minutes of the film where the high-stakes Operation Kino haphazardly unfolds, history is rewritten like fanfiction and Hans Landa finally gets his comeuppance when he gets a swastika engraved into his forehead.

If Tarantino were to retire immediately, any of those aforementioned scenes from Inglourious Basterds could easily be labeled the best thing he’s ever pumped out.

Okay, the “I think this just be my masterpiece” quote followed by the smash cut to the “Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino” card is a bit too on the nose but he gets a pass here because, well, no one’s going to argue that about certain parts of the movie.

But what about Inglourious Basterds as a coherent, three-act film? As a collection of scenes, it is second to none when compared to Tarantino’s other work.

As a movie, well, it’ll probably give Death Proof a run for its money as Tarantino’s worst film.

As brilliant as all those aforementioned individual scenes are in Inglourious Basterds, they don’t work quite as well when stitched together to form a proper narrative in service of a greater whole.

The plot meanders in some places, accelerates in others and the tonal dissonance between parallel storylines and themes (like Shosanna’s tragic revenge quest vs. the Basterds’ ridiculous hunt for Nazi scalps) can be jarring. You simply don’t get the usual sense of cohesion one finds in Tarantino’s other scripts.

It’s almost like he had so many good ideas that he decided to stuff it into a five-chapter film rather than make five films. Perhaps Inglourious Basterds is best described as “the sum of its parts is greater than the whole.” The individual scenes work brilliantly on their own but don’t gel when put together.

When the guy retires after his 10th film and we look back upon his body of work, Inglourious Basterds will stand out as both the best and worst we’ll see from Quentin Tarantino, all of which is wrapped up in a fiery inferno of cinema film with a Nazi swastika crudely carved into its forehead.

Jackie Chan Dealt A Blow To Hong Kong's Protestors, Don't Act Surprised

If you had any doubts about Jackie Chan and his politics, this should erase them.

The Hong Kong protests have escalated dramatically since they kicked off back in March 2019 and things are getting dicey. Hundreds of thousands of disgruntled Hong Kongers are holding demonstrations everywhere, the economy is getting shell-shocked, flights are getting canceled and the police are retaliating with excessive force.

Jackie Chan, a Hong Kong native, has now spoken out about the protests and, well, let’s say his comments didn’t go down too well.

Too late for that.

Speaking to the South China Morning Post, Chan said he went to Hong Kong to “express the most basic principles of patriotism as a Hong Kong citizen and a Chinese” and wanted to “represent everyone’s voice.”

“I feel pride in being Chinese wherever I go, and the ‘Five-starred Red Flag’ is respected everywhere around the world.

“I also deeply feel that safety, stability, and peace are just like fresh air, you never know how precious it is until you lose it.”

He then called the protests “sad and depressing” and hoped that peace will come to Hong Kong soon.

While these comments are seemingly positive, they’re the last thing Hong Kong’s pro-democracy protesters want to hear, especially from a guy like Jackie Chan, and they responded with a barrage of comments labeling him as a traitor and a Chinese lackey.

So why all the hate for the world’s biggest action star?

Well, Chan is a member of the Chinese People’s Political Consultive Conference and a staunch supporter of the Chinese Communist Party. When he’s not acting as the face of modern Chinese communism, he’s going around preaching how Chinese people need to have their freedom and democratic processes suppressed so he’s not exactly on the side of democracy here.

They’re certainly trying though.

So when he’s talking about “safety” and “stability” when referring to Hong Kong, it’s less about democracy and more along the lines of “stop dem protests soon because you’re ruining all the safety and stability we got going in communist China RN.”

As a cherry on top of this oppressive, tear gas soaked cake, Chan reportedly feigned ignorance of the protests when he was asked in June, saying how he had only found out the day before and knew nothing.

Hard to believe you didn’t know about the protests that are taking place in your home country, champ.

He really is.

We shouldn’t be surprised by any of Chan’s comments about the Hong Kong protests, though

It’s been long established that he’s an awful human being and his dodgy politics have been out in the open for ages, so we shouldn’t act too shocked that he’s going around and trumpeting empty rhetorics under the guise of wanting peace.

But in terms of swaying public favour away from the pro-democracy protests and back towards the pro-China side, well Jackie Chan has done his job as China’s mouthpiece perfectly.

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