Bleats

The Nicolas Cage Masterpiece 'Face/Off' Is Getting Ruined - Sorry, A Reboot

Why mess with a masterpiece?

Hollywood has been going pretty bonkers with the whole “rebooting every movie” schtick over the last few years, but we’re really entered into dangerously worrying levels with its latest project: a remake of Face/Off, John Woo’s 1997 action classic starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage.

According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures is rebooting Face/Off with a new cast and will be written by the guy responsible for penning great films such as *checks notes* um, The Cloverfield Paradox and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Welp, this isn’t going to turn out well is it?

Yeah, same.

For those who need a refresher, Face/Off is about an FBI agent (Travolta) and a domestic terrorist (Cage) who get their faces and bodies exchanged, resulting in a high-stakes version of Freaky Friday filled with John Woo’s operatic gun-fu action, and some of the hammiest greatest performances from Travolta and Cage we’ve ever seen onscreen.

It is also a goddamn masterpiece and no film quite defines 90s action quite like Face/Off, which begs the question: why are Hollywood messing around with perfection?

The behind-the-scenes crew assembled so far have a hell of a mountain to climb in order to match John Woo’s handiwork on the original film. While we should take all this with a few gains of salt seeing how the project is in its still early days and no director has been confirmed, it’s not particularly encouraging that the writer for some pretty dodgy films is penning the Face/Off reboot script.

Why couldn’t they just eat a peach for hours instead?

But perhaps the biggest obstacle to this remake being a success is the inimitable duo of John Travolta and Nic Cage. That pairing is what made the original Face/Off work so well and history has shown it is near impossible to capture that magic again with new actors.

Just look at what happened with the Point Break remake when they tried to mould two random blokes into the new Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze.

But look, we’re judging the project before we’ve even seen anything so let’s give it the benefit of the doubt for now.

Seeing as how the film’s concept is so reliant on the two lead actors, here are a few of our nominations for who should replace John Travolta and Nicolas Cage:

  • Tom Hardy and Tom Hardy
  • Daniel Kaluuya and Lakeith Stanfield
  • Vanessa Kirby and Samara Weaving
  • Henry Cavill and Matt Bomer
  • The Rock and Timothée Chalamet

You know what, the Face/Off reboot may not be a complete disaster after all. If Paramount are reading this, we have many more suggestions so give us a buzz.

Thank 'Community' For Giving Us The Captain America And Avengers Films You Love

I see its value now.

Of the 23 Marvel Cinematic Universe films we’ve gotten so far, the most well-received ones have been Black Panther, the second and third Captain America flicks, and Avengers Infinity War and Endgame. It’s a stunning run of sustained consistency elite athletes and movie studios dream about and it’s primarily because of a little critically-acclaimed TV show: Community.

Except Black Panther. Community had nothing to do with that movie, I just needed to pad out the list of examples.

Those aforementioned Captain America and Avenger flicks were all directed by Anthony and Joe Russo. But before they made their way to the MCU, they were best known for directing a bunch of great TV shows, the most popular being Arrested Development and Community.

So how did a couple of TV directors go from directing some cult show to directing several big-budget Marvel films?

As it turns out, it’s because of their great work on Community, which caught the eye of Marvel boss Kevin Feige. In an interview with The Wrap, the Russos said Feige really dug the show, particularly the ‘Modern Warfare’ episode they directed which spoofed Hollywood action movies via a ridiculous paintball competition.

After catching Feige’s attention with Community, the Russos said they met with the guy and really connected “on a lot of levels” about comics and pop-culture. Next thing they knew, they were brought on to direct 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier and the rest is movie history.

It also explains why there are a bunch of cameos from the Community cast sprinkled in the Russo-directed Marvel films, like Danny Pudi (Abed) in Winter Soldier, Jim Rash (Dean Pelton) in Captain America: Civil War, Donald Glover (Troy) in Spider-Man: Homecoming and Yvette Nicole Brown (Shirley) in Endgame.

Hell, Brie Larson was actually in a bunch of Community episodes and she ended up being Captain Marvel so what goes around comes around.

Now given the way Marvel works, all those Captain America and Avengers movies directed by the Russos were going to be made with or without them. But would those have been as good as the ones we ultimately got?

Impossible to say but they certainly would’ve been different, and we don’t have an Endgame quantum tunnel to travel back in time to find out what would’ve happened if someone else were the directors.

But as it stands, Community not only entertained us, it also indirectly resulted in some of the MCU’s best outings. The show finished years ago but I continue to see its value, now and for years to come.

Rihanna May Be The Female Lead In The New Batman Film, Which Is Worrying

Yeah, nah.

Now that the all the hooplah over who will be DC’s new Batman is over (it’s Robert Pattinson in case you haven’t heard), the question now is who will be starring alongside him. Well if rumours are to be believed, we may see *checks notes*… uh, Rihanna fighting against the Caped Crusader.

We Got This Covered says Warner Bros. is interested in the singer for a part in the upcoming Batman flick. As for who she’ll be playing, apparently the studio want her to play Poison Ivy.

Well, okay then.

No shade to Rihanna, who we absolutely adore, but Poison Ivy? If it was for another character like Catwoman (who DC are looking to cast as well) then it would be fine. But again, Poison Ivy? Really?

There’s a reason why the character didn’t work on the big screen when we last saw her in 1997’s Batman & Robin: the character is ridiculous in live-action.

If the new Batman film is to be the grounded, dark and gritty exploration into the Dark Knight’s early years as we are led to believe, then not only might it be a little too soon to introduce Poison Ivy but the character perhaps too campy to realistically work.

And if an actress as great as Uma Thurman couldn’t pull off the character – granted that the material she had was rubbish – then it’s hard to see Rihanna pull it off.

But look, we’re getting way too ahead of ourselves here because this is all just a rumour so we should take it with a mountain of salt for now.

And if the sources for We Got This Covered are to be believed, Rihanna isn’t the only one up for Poison Ivy and she may not even be interested in the part since she’s quite busy with her Fenty stuff these days.

While there’s doubt whether she can convincingly pull off playing a supervillain or whether she’ll even be Poison Ivy, at least she’ll rock whatever green-skinned, red-haired look DC have got planned for the character.

Right now it’s another round of the game we all like to play called “let’s wait and see.” But seeing as how DC was able to successfully pull off a live-action Wonder Woman and Harley Quinn, then there’s hope that a new Poison Ivy will actually turn out alright and not something like the 1997 trainwreck.

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