Here’s a concept: intermissions for movies.
It might sound like a weird idea but me and my bladder are all for it. Sitting through three hours in an uncomfortable cinema chair (especially when they’re the kind with the arms that don’t tuck away) is not fun when you have a belly full of iced cola and you pee a bit every time you laugh/cry/there’s a jump scare.
Sure, maybe it’s just my tiny bladder. But it’s also because movies are getting longer and longer which makes it harder to hold my pee.
So again I suggest: intermissions for movies.
This isn’t just me being a sook – movies have actually been getting longer. Two of this year’s most popular films, Avengers: Endgame and IT Chapter Two, were both about three hours long.
That’s double the amount of time of an average romcom.
Watching long movies isn’t a huge struggle when you’re excited for the film – Avengers and It both had a lot of hype around their release. There was no way I was going to the toilet during Endgame and I was okay with that.
But not all films are made equal, meaning not all films are loved and adored in the same way. Which means sitting through them while needing to pee is not always ideal.
There is a logic to why movies are getting longer.
Firstly, most big movies are adaptations. Films like Harry Potter come with a huge reputation and an even bigger fanbase. The pressure to fit in all the important bits and details is immense.
Logic follows: the longer the film, the more that can be included.
Another reason movies are getting longer is because audiences want more bang for their buck. Nothing is cheap these days and asking a family to pay $13 a ticket for a movie plus popcorn and soda is basically asking them to give away small fortune – $100+ can be spent on groceries, dinner or laundry fees.
So, if a mum is going to take her kids to a movie she wants to make sure it’s damn worth it.
Why watch an 90-minute kids comedy about The Rock babysitting a cutie little girl when you can distract your kids for with an action film for three blissful hours?
Streaming services also give a reason for movies to extend their runtime – there is no cap, they can play through for as long as we desire. Gone are the days where you had to change from Titanic VHS #1 to Titanic VHS #2 just after watching Jack draw Rose like one of his French girls.
Finally, movies are long because they’re ~art~.
I’d like to see you try telling Quentin Tarantino to cap his blockbusters at one hour.
The reasons why movies are getting longer and longer make total sense. But that doesn’t mean I like it.
Again I say: intermissions for movies. It will be revolutionary, trust me.