Bleats

Little Women Looks Fantastic But We Don't Need Another All-White Period Piece

No amount of Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet can cover up the lack of people of colour in Little Women.

The first trailer for Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women has dropped and it’s quite possibly the most ambitious crossover event in history this side of an Avengers film.

You’ve got Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird), Emma Watson (Harry Potter), Florence Pugh (Midsommar) and Eliza Scanlen (Sharp Objects) getting up to no good as the March sisters:

I would be okay if the entire movie was basically them squabbling.

There’s Laura Dern (Big Little Lies) as Marmee March and Meryl Streep (too many good things to count) turning up the sass as Aunt March:

Just give her the Oscar right now.

And of course, you’ve got Timothée Chalamet (Lady Bird) and his perfect, wind-swept hair as Theodore “Laurie” Laurence:

Yep, Timothée is looking good.

With enough star power to light up a continent and an overwhelmingly talented cast who’ll likely be fighting each other for Oscar glory when the film drops on December 25, Little Women isn’t just a stacked movie, it’s a goddamn cinematic event.

But as good as the film looks, not to mention the sizzling onscreen chemistry from Saoirse and Timothée, one can’t help but notice the film’s, uh, whiteness for lack of a better term. In fact, you look at the cast for Little Women and there’s a grand total of zero people of colour in there. There were more than just white people around during the 19th century. Just saying.

There’s no doubt that the cast and crew for Little Women are more than qualified for the gig, but there are plenty of talented people of colour out there in Hollywood who could’ve easily slipped into any of the roles in the film.

Before folks start harping on about the source material not featuring people of colour, film adaptations of novels take creative liberties all the time to the benefit of the final product and this is no exception. A producer for the film, Robin Swicord, even said that this version of Little Women will be “focusing more on themes than narrative,” which makes the lack of people of colour even more glaring.

We’ve seen more than enough all-white period dramas come out of Hollywood and it would’ve been brilliant to see some greater inclusivity for the genre. Movies featuring non-white casts are perfectly capable of scoring big in Hollywood so it’s quite disappointing to see how much further we still have to go on that front.

There’s no doubt that Greta Gerwig’s Little Women will be good at the very least, but Hollywood missed out on an opportunity to turn this adaptation into something special by opting for yet another all-white cast once again.

Never Forget How Awful We All Were To Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson During Their Twilight Years

Kudos to Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson for surviving that period.

Ah Twilight. That crazy period between 2008 to 2012 seems like so long ago. Fortnite didn’t exist, vampires and werewolves were still a thing, and the only thing people – particularly Twihards – wanted to talk about was Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

While Twilight is something most of us have since moved on from, it’s hard to forget the crazy – and occasionally awful – fervor that surrounded both Kristen and Robert during that period.

*Cue the squeals of millions of fans*

The whole “dating while being the face of a huge franchise” thing meant everyone’s eyes were on the then-couple’s every move at all times. Not only did the pair have little to no privacy during those years due to all the paparazzi and media attention showered upon them, but the fans also bought into that whole narrative.

The almost-possessive behaviour from fans towards the media-shy couple was horrendous at times as many projected their fantasies upon the pair and basically refused to leave them alone. Those who didn’t like Twilight also felt the need to add to the dog pile and the result was a toxic cocktail of attention that’s hazardous to everyone’s health.

Then there was the whole “Kristen cheated” saga.

Must. Avert. Eyes.

With the facade of their “perfect love story” shattered, fans and the media completely shat all over Kristen (who later issued out a public apology) while showering Robert with unwanted sympathy and pity. Rather than let the pair figure out their personal stuff in private, everyone basically forced them to air all that dirty laundry out in public.

When folk like Donald Trump is tweeting about them, that’s when you know something is messed up.

That was towards the end of the Twilight saga and the couple broke up not long after, but the shadow of that franchise continue to linger over the pair long afterwards. Despite all the great work they’ve done since, people simply refused to let them move on from that shiny vampire period.

Every Twilight fan basically.

It’s only the last couple of years that the Twilight dust seemed to settle for the pair as people finally started recognising Kristen and Robert as the critically-acclaimed indie darlings they’ve work so hard to be post-Twilight.

So let’s never forget how insane that 2008 to 2012 period was for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Massive props to the pair for surviving those crazy years because we weren’t particularly kind to them and they didn’t deserve all that awful, unwanted attention.

When Exactly Did We All Start Hating On Gwyneth Paltrow?

A serious investigation into the starting point of when Gwyneth Paltrow became the internet's punching bag.

Gwyneth Paltrow says dumb stuff. That much we know is true. Hell, she says and does so much facepalm-y stuff that coming up with new ways to make fun of her actually gets exhausting.

But here’s a big question: When exactly did Gwyneth become the internet’s punching bag?

Ummmm…

Surely there was a point before the tide turned and the name “Gwyneth Paltrow” became synonymous with “insufferable idiot”. Since this is a very serious question that deserves a deep dive, the GOAT team decided to go through the many – MANY – “Gwyneth” moments over the last few decades in order to find the origin point of all this hate.

It was a hell of a rage-inducing odyssey but we managed to narrow it down to a few key moments where Gwyneth could’ve plausibly taken on the “butt monkey” tag.

Winning the Best Actress Oscar

Between her ill-fitting pink dress, her blubbering acceptance speech and winning the Oscar over other better performances, the whole night was a cauldron pot of hate-worthy moments for Gwyneth critics.

Naming her daughter “Apple” and other random cringey mum bits

When Gwyneth decided to name her daughter Apple, this felt like a slap in the face for many. Like, who names their kid after a fruit? It’s bonkers.

While this would be nothing compared to the glut of weird celebrity baby names we see these days, it was a bit of an anomaly back in 2004 and it made people think that maybe Gwyneth was a bit of a lemon.

Then there’s all the weird stuff she’s said and done since she’s become a mother, like posting photos of Apple without permission and telling folks – without irony – that being a mum is harder for an actress than someone with an office job.

Heavy front-runner this one.

Oh boy…

“Conscious uncoupling”

The whole divorce announcement was actually really nice since it was made clear that there was still much love and respect, but Gwyneth labeling it “conscious uncoupling” pushed it from “awww” and straight into “oh for god’s sake.”

Why couldn’t she just go with a simple “we’re breaking up” announcement, Gwyneth?

No wonder why her new husband can only stand to hang out with her a few days a week.

Plugging her weird Goop stuff

Hoo boy, where do we even begin with the dumpster fire of a lifestyle brand that is Goop.

There’s the ridiculously expensive health fads, the absolutely bonkers gift guides, promoting the shoving of jade eggs up people’s vaginas as a positive thing, and just making up weird crap for her website. And that’s just from the last few months.

Enough said.

Forgetting she was in a bunch of Marvel movies

The last thing you want to do is piss off comic book fans and Gwyneth somehow managed to do it by simply forgetting that she’s been in some of the biggest Marvel films ever.

In her defence, she’s been in seven Marvel films so it can get a little hazy but try telling that to annoyed fanboys.

#Trending

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