Bleats

Can Someone Tell Miley Cyrus She Doesn't Have To Bag Her Relationship To Win The Breakup Game?

Talking trash is never the answer.

In break-ups there’s always a good guy and a bad guy. The breakup could me amicable, you could remain best friends (lol good joke), you could still raise your dog together, but someone always ends up on top. 

Sometimes it’s subtle. You might be the ‘bad guy’ because you moved on more quickly than they did. Other times it’s more explicit – they might be the bad guy for cheating on you with your best friend. 

It really does, sometimes. Source: Giphy

Celebrity breakups are the same – after-all, they’re people too. The latest celeb couple to call it quits and prove that the ‘good guy’ vs ‘bad guy’ relationship trope is real, are Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

Their breakup has unfolded very quickly and very publicly. While none of us know exactly what happened to end their relationship, there’s a pretty clear good guy and bad guy in this situation: Liam is the good guy and Miley is the bad guy. 

This isn’t definitive – I’m not saying Miley is to blame for their breakup. But I am saying she’s been acting like a bit of a crap ex in the lead up and days since. 

She hasn’t even tried to hide it – her bikini clad pics and saucy Instagram captions are a definite power play. If there’s one way to make your ex feel crap about, well, being your ex it’s inundating their social feed with hot photos of you. 

I get it, we’ve all been there, but one picture speaks a thousand words. Twenty pictures is bordering on desperate and just feels unnecessary – no need to rub it in their face to the point that they’re suffocating. 

But that’s not all Miley has done to cement her role as the breakup ‘bad guy’. According to reports, she’s being sharing nasty details about their relationship. 

Sources close with Miley told TMZ that she tried “valiantly” to save their marriage but couldn’t accept Liam’s “drinking a lot and using certain drugs” especially given her struggles with substance abuse in the past meant. 

So Miley’s (apparently) thrown Liam under the bus to make herself look like the victim. 

As you do…Source: Giphy

Sources on Liam’s side are calling bulls**t, according to TMZ, and say the real issue was Miley’s infidelity.

According to Liam’s ‘mates’, Miley is accusing Liam of drug and alcohol use to distract from the real cause of the split.

Basically, it’s a lot of “he said, she said” and one big public mess. Something you never want in a breakup. 

The above accusations from both parties might or might not be true, but there’s one thing that is always true: bagging your ex, even to your friends, after your breakup is not a cool move. 

You don’t have to talk trash about your ex to win the relationship game. In my opinion, remaining humble in defeat makes you the winner by default – you maintain respect for your ex and respect for yourself. 

Sure, if there are rumours going around you can and should set the record straight (like Liam). But you shouldn’t offer up nasty information just because you want to shift the blame (like Miley). 

Someone needs to remind Miley of this ‘cause right now Liam is winning the breakup game in leaps and bounds. 

If You're Struggling To Cut Old Friends Loose, Get Inspo From These RL Mate Breakups

Friendship shouldn't be a chore.

Because I’m feeling generous, I’ve got some valuable life advice for you: stop being friends with people because you feel obligated. 

I don’t want to hear your “but”s and I don’t care how much history you have. It’s simple: friendship shouldn’t be a chore. If you find yourself dreading someone’s company, if a person is making you question humanity, if your ‘best mate’ treats you like crap, then you need to cut them out of your life. 

I’m not telling you to drop a friend because it’s too hard to organise time to see each other- that’s silly. Friendship isn’t all sunshine and smooth sailing, it requires a bit of effort. If you’re the only one making the effort, that’s when you drop ‘em. 

It’s a cliché but it’s true: life is too short. Worrying about someone who clearly doesn’t worry about you is a lost cause. 

I’ve had my fair share of lost friendships. Sometimes I still cry- just because I don’t want certain people or negative energies in my life doesn’t mean it still doesn’t suck sometimes. Especially in situations where you’ve lost a friend because they decided to play you for a fool, lie to your face, tell everyone you’re the bad guy and eventually make you choose between your own happiness and their loyalty (true story). 

Basically. Source: Giphy

You win some, you lose some and that’s okay. 

If you don’t believe me maybe these real life stories will help give you the inspiration you need to cut that old friend loose. Or at least make you laugh the anger right out of you. 

You’re welcome in advance. 

“I was friends with two guys all throughout high school (who were also best friends) and ended up dating one of them for over a year. When I realised I didn’t really like being with him, we broke up and it was totally fine until I fell for the other guy and we got together. My ex found out at school camp and they physically fought, fell out and stopped being friends for 4 years and never spoke to each other again.”

“I haven’t spoken to one of my best friends in 2 years because she was showing sociopathic tenancies and said that she gets ‘murderous urges’.”

So not cool. Source: Giphy

“I actually had a friend do this to me at the start of the year…  but it was due to her jealously of my life and her insecurities that she wasn’t good enough to be friends with me. Weird!”

Relatable. This next one, not so much: 

“My old housemate stabbed someone, we’re not friends anymore.”

lol k. Source: Giphy

“Another one is a friend who was always rude to wait staff, like RAHUDE. To the point where I would tip and apologise. If I ever see her, it’s not revolved around food.”

Yep, it takes a special breed of human to be rude to waitstaff. 

“I dumped a friend because I ended up getting a job before her and all she could say was “that’s motivated me to start looking for jobs”. I was really hurt because that (in addition to a lot of other comments she made) made me feel like she thought I didn’t deserve to get the job.”

“A Girl I went to high school with was a compulsive liar. These are just some of the lies she told us: 

  • Warner Bros bought her story to be made into a movie for $1 million dollars. She even made up fake emails and used to print them out and show us. She also said that if she carried her script around Warner Bros would pay her more. So she literally used to come to school with a backpacker bag
  • She got up on stage with Eminem and sang a duet. 
  • She’d go for runs at night with Jesse McCartney.
  • She went to dinner with Johnny Depp.” 
Lies are what, Jack? Source: Giphy

“My friends and I thought it’d be a good idea to bring a bottle of vodka on year 10 camp. The teachers found out, because my ex told them out of spite because we wouldn’t share. These two girls and I were put on a coach at 3am and sent back to Sydney. My friends’ mums both pulled the girls out of school and sent them to separate high schools. I didn’t see either of them until last year when I went back home to the local christmas carols.”

Love getting drunk at 15 (mum if you’re reading this, I’m joking). 

And finally, this doozy: 

“I dropped a mate after her wedding. Right before the wedding, my ex-friends brother attended the bucks in Thailand and discovered that the groom to be was up to no good and carrying on with other women. Needless to say, when the bride to be found out, it really hit the fan. When she was deciding whether or not to leave him and cancel the wedding, I asked her why she loves him and her response was “he buys me things, treats me well and takes me to nice dinners”.  She forgave him and married him and I decided I need a friend with more depth.”

Listen to Michelle. Source: Giphy

If You're Wearing AirPods During Sex It's Time To Dump Your Partner

I know a sign when I see one.

Sex is an important part of a relationship. You don’t have to have sex to have a successful relationship, but it helps. It’s basically a barometer for how much genuine chemistry you and your partner have.

 If you’re sex life consists of banging it out for two minutes while barely looking at each other then it’s probably time to revaluate your feelings. 

Similarly, if you’re wearing AirPods during sexy time then that’s a definitely red flag. Yes, there are people in the world who actually do this. 

lol k. Source: Giphy.

Keeping your headphones packed away during sex seems like a logical decision, but for 17 per cent of AirPod owners this is not the case. 

A recent survey conducted by TickPick (with 1,000 people), revealed people keep their headphones in during sex because it allows them to listen to music which fits their own personal taste. 

While that kind of thinking is great for a bus ride, it most definitely does not belong in the bedroom. If you’re wearing AirPods during sex it’s time to dump your partner because it means you’re not interested enough in them to care. 

The second those AirPods go into your ears you’re making an active decision to block out your partner, even if you don’t see it that way. 

I get you might not want your significant other or one night stand to know you’re a Nickelback fan, but sex is a shared experience so you need to treat it as one. If you want to listen to music during sex then you should use speakers so you and your bae can enjoy the tunes together. 

Set the mood and go for gold. 

*eggplant emoji*. Source: Giphy

If you want to have an exceptionally good time, listen to some country music. According to the TickPick survey, people who love country music say they’re having the most satisfying sex. 

I have a theory that that’s because country music is inherently disappointing which means sex feels a lot better in comparison. 

Unless it’s Shania. Shania is queen. Source: Giphy.

In summary: 

Dont: AirPod and boink. 

Do: Country music and ride. 

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