If you’re from an Asian background, then chances are you would’ve heard of a little Facebook group called “Subtle Asian Traits“. Ever since the group was formed last year, the number of members (nearly all of whom are young Asians, unsurprisingly) has grown exponentially (it currently sits well over a million) and has become a haven for all things related to Asian culture, whether it’s jokes, memes, and people sharing anecdotes from their lives.
The group is filled with entertaining content and young people connecting with each other by virtue of their shared Asian background, which is fantastic for the most part. But underneath the deluge of dark jokes, memes, and anecdotes is a worrying subtext of stress and declining mental health.
Not good at all.
Mental health issues amongst young Asians is nothing new but it remains a big problem that needs addressing. Suicide rates in countries like Japan and South Korea are still worryingly high, ranking amongst the highest in the world for a number of years now.
Within Australia, Lifeline launched a new initiative a few years ago to better connect with the Chinese community, but there is little available data to make definitive conclusions on how the Asian community fares with their mental health. However, all the anecdotes and stories I’ve been told by friends and acquaintances reveal a worrying trend nonetheless.
Teenagers being forced to study hours upon end, being punished for failing to meet their parents’ high expectations, the instilled fear of failure, pressure to marry young and pump out kids, and the overall lack of empathy and understanding from older generations to the young people of today. It’s honestly troubling to hear some of the stuff people have had to go through and it’s no surprise that the conclusion of most stories end with some variation of “they had a breakdown.”
It’s no wonder why a lot of Asian memes and jokes going around these days seem incredibly dark, particularly on Subtle Asian Traits. People need an outlet of some kind and humour is usually the only way for them to do it. And besides, only you and your fellow Asians know what it’s like being told to drink some hot water to fix that fever, cold, or feeling of anxiety you may have.
Just a cup of this and your fever/flu/depression will go away instantly!
Some might say, “why not go seek help?”. If you thought the current stigma that exists over mental health treatment for Westerners is bad, it’s doubly worse for Asians.
Asian culture places value on family rather than the individual, and everything you do is in the name of your family. Couple that with language barriers and the fear of being stigmatised as someone who is crazy should they seek treatment, and what you get is a bubbling cauldron of mental health issues that remain unfixed.
It’s a very lonely and solitary existence to not only have your identity be so wholly defined in terms of honouring your family name rather than you as a person, but also to have members of your immediate family call you crazy if you try and seek help or do your own thing. It’s not a good feeling to have your own parents asking you if you’re insane without a hint of irony.
Been told this more times by my mum than I care to remember.
So to all my fellow Asians, whether you’re in Australia or elsewhere in the world, don’t be afraid to seek mental health treatment if you need it. I understand that this is incredibly difficult for some to do but you will feel much better once you do. Seeking help and sorting myself out through various productive outlets was the best thing I ever did and there’s no shame in asking for assistance when you need it.
Forget all the nonsense about bringing dishonour to the family, getting good grades, landing a high-paying job, or trying to please your parents. Worry about yourself first because your wellbeing the most important thing at the end of the day.
If you need someone to talk to, you can call Lifeline at 131114.