A toast to Nigel Smith, who got so sick of people throwing shade at his name that he organised and hosted his very own Nigel-con to “celebrate Nigelness”. The rest of us mere mortals could only dream of being so petty.
As landlord of The Fleece Inn in England’s West Midlands, Smith has the means, motive, and opportunity to unite the world’s Nigels for a night, serving up such witty beverages as the ‘NigALE’. Obviously, ‘Making Plans For Nigel’ by XTC was on the playlist.
Smith’s effort was no mean feat, but one particular visitor had really gone the extra mile. They dubbed him ‘the Texan Nigel’, an American who crowdfunded his voyage from friends and family to be forever enshrined in the Book of Nigel (yes, that’s a real thing they made).
I’ll be the first to admit that a gathering of my people is highly unlikely, but this is really a slap in the face to all of you with common – and I’m just going to say it – boring names.
You Sarahs and Nicks, Rachels and Davids will never feel the thrill of meeting someone who shares your moniker. It probably happens to y’all every day, but for us it’s a special moment.
Nigels needed this morale boost the most, because their name is probably one of the most regularly roasted. Sorry, but no one is out here associating the name ‘Nigel’ with hunks and heroes.
To make matters worse, the poor Nige is an endangered species, just like Craigs. In 2017, no-one in Britain named their baby Nigel, and at one point there had been no new Nigels in New South Wales since 2004.
There are so many reasons to avoid calling your kid Nigel (namely the bullying), so parents, I hear ya. Especially when it means have anything in common with one of the most hated politicians in the UK:
On the other hand, who wouldn’t want to be named after this glorious hunk?
I eagerly await the flurry of copycat Facebook events.