From Spider-Man’s live-action film debut in 2002 with Spider-Man, the character has starred or featured in nine films, including the recent Avengers: Endgame. In fact, we’re about to get another Spider-Man solo adventure in the form of Spider-Man: Far From Home, which looks like a fun little romp.
But while you many know Spider-Man from the Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland movies, what you might not know is that James Cameron nearly made his own Spider-Man movie back in the 90s.
And hoo boy was it something of a smutty fustercluck.
Going off Cameron’s script, his idea was a pretty basic origin story of how Peter Parker gets his powers, falls in love with Mary Jane Watson, and ends up fighting against Electro and Sandman.
But this take on the character is something else entirely and is probably best summed up as “a creepy, sexually-frustrated adolescent whose spider powers are a metaphor for puberty.”
In a scene where Peter discovers his web-slinging abilities, the whole thing is unsubtly presented like the aftermath of a wet dream. Seriously, this is how the scene is described:
“Something is causing the sheet to stick to him. He lifts it, revealing a sticky, white mass completely covering him, gluing him to his bedding. It is some silky substance webbing him into the covers. He cries out in dismay… struggling to free himself from the gluey strands. Where did it come from? He notices his wrists…”
Can’t imagine what Cameron is trying to get at there with this scene. To be fair, subtlety was never his strong suit.
That’s not webbing…is it?
Things somehow get kicked up a notch further with Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship. It starts off pretty tame with Peter using his new-found powers to spy on her getting changed. You know, stuff that horny adolescents usually get up to in coming-of-age movies.
But that’s about as normal as it gets as their relationship culminates with the pair having sex on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. Not only do they get freaky in public but Peter’s seduction technique basically involves him describing to Mary Jane how spiders mate in order to get her in the mood.
“Courtship among the spiders is highly ritualized. It varies from species to species. The male spider may circle the female, or wave his front legs… to signal that he is not prey.”
That sounds…sexy?
Smooth.
Now Cameron’s super-smutty adult take on Spider-Man ultimately didn’t take off as the movie studio involved went bankrupt but some of his ideas made it into the 2002 Spider-Man film, such as the organic web-slingers, Peter not needing glasses after getting his powers, and Uncle Ben dying at the hands of a car thief.
It certainly would’ve been a very interesting movie had Cameron managed to get it off the ground but whether it would’ve been good is a different question altogether. We’ll never know the answer as the movie will never get made now, but at least we can take heart knowing that we didn’t see Peter and Mary Jane get freaky on top of a bridge because that would’ve been as bad as the sex scene in Watchmen.
But look, things ultimately worked out in the end. Right now we have Tom Holland playing Peter Parker and his take is arguably the best we’ve seen on film, and Cameron too busy working on 32 Avatar movies or something to worry about anything else.
We’re in a good spot with Spider-Man right now so we don’t need to worry about any scenes that involve Peter’s webbing being a metaphor for a male teenager’s bodily fluids. Hopefully.
